from msnbc:.
spanking can fuel aggression, anxiety in kids .
physical discipline leads to more behavior problems, research suggestsreutersupdated: 3:52 p.m. et nov. 21, 2005. .
On a personal note; I recieved spankings well into my teens. They mysteriously stopped around the time i was taller/bigger than my dad
I never developed outward agression towards others, but am freaked out by anger in others. My poor wife has to remind me that she still loves me when I piss her off (doesn't happen very often). Due to the dub upbringing, I associate anger with unlove. Talk about some f*cked up dynamics. So it did result in anxiety for me.
Big Willy
from msnbc:.
spanking can fuel aggression, anxiety in kids .
physical discipline leads to more behavior problems, research suggestsreutersupdated: 3:52 p.m. et nov. 21, 2005. .
Crumpet, I'm very proud of you too! It takes alot to change those patterns. You are a rock star!
Big Willy (some proud-of-you-guy you don't know)
.
i was at play group this morning when i overheared a conversation about jehovahs witnesses and i just thought i'd share it with you guys.. apparentely 2 jws called at the house of one of the women from playgroup yesterday and they asked her about her daughter, the lady told them her 1 year old daughter's father is turkish and that makes her muslim, the witness turned around and said "well, lets hope she doesn't grow up to be a suicide bomber"..
As one of my prior coworkers used to jokingly say, "inappropriate!"
Big Willy
ok, no literal hats please.
i'm into business, sports, politics, inventions, builder, i'm a planner organizer and co-ordinator.
i love work, it hasn't killed me yet.
Hubby
Potty salesman
mad scientist (hombrew beer and other mad concoctions)
biker (motorized)
1/2 ass artist
full time wise guy
Big Willy
aloha friends,
still working on my process of separating from the org.
so far i have found it best to have little to no contact with anyone who is still living in jw land, as their state of denial is so disturbing to me.
Was anyone else having reruns fo "Stepford Wives" while reading this? " I had doubts and was unhappy, so they rewired me "
Big Willy
By the way, I made the mistake of watching Stepford Children on TV when I was 12 or so, I was awake all night with nightmares! Struck a little close to home I guess.
i work with a guy who sleep with a lot of different woman, and when i say a lot, i mean a lot!
i know what some are thinking, "oh he probably sleeps with a few and makes it sound like more.
" well i would think that too, if i did not actually meet a lot of these woman and work with some of them and they admit to sleeping with him on a regular basis.
Here's my 2 cents worth. As per Bull, TS, Crumpet, Avishai and many others, I also believe that "promiscuity" is perfectly okay when all the people involved are okay with it. Personally I had a few partners prior to marriage, most of those relationships were monogamous. Most of the women I have been with have been more experienced than myself (that wasted 20yrs of JW repression set me back on the learning curve). I valued thier experience as they knew what they were doing and were able to teach me alot and expand my horizons. I think it's important to "get around" a little so you know what you like, how to please your partners, and learn what these interactions bring to you and your partners. How can you make a good choice in a life partner without knowing anything about sex and couples dynamics?
Personally, I am married and will never do anything to endanger that relationship. Like Bull I windowshop, anyone who says they don't look is either dead, lying or in denial. My wife looks too, we both know that the other looks and are okay with it. At the end of the day, no matter how attractive anyone out there is, I would not sacrifice what I have with my wife for anything. Anyone can be a sex partner, it takes someone special to be a life partner.
I know some people who have had "open marriages" and made it work for them, I also know some that have defenitely not worked. Same thing with polyamorous relationships. Like many of the people here, I feel if it works for you, GREAT!
free2beme, "I see these woman he sleep with as pathetic, and look at them like tools on the wall of his garage and almost find myself forgetting their human."
Is this their problem? Are they unhappy with their lifestyle? I think the problem is your own. Why do you have such a poor opinion of women?
Big Willy
hi all, the goods coming from sir's appraisal of the elders school (great job, btw!
) are very upsetting... i know i'm very angry about what the leaders are being told to do, and i can see it in everybody elses comments too.
just thought i'd try an exercise to bring a bit more joy into our lives at this time..... what have you achieved since escaping the cult?
What kind of bike do you ride sass? My wife & I both ride, mine - Yamaha Vstar 1100 Custom, hers - 650 Custom.
I also brew my own beer (double stress relief points )
Big Willy (no drinking and riding class)
soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.
i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.
anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.
i cant even order a meal till i know what everyone else is getting! i think theres something wrong with me or im just super nice (more like stupid!)
Nope, just programmed codepedance! Not your bad, it's the way the entire org programs their follower to be (I still ask my wife permission to eat things out of the fridge ).
Big Willy
soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.
i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.
anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.
did any of you ever feel like that when you were losing everything?
Yep, and to an extent I have permanently lost (thrown away?) my "family & friends". But, I have since made true friends who will be my friends regardless of my religious decisions. I have some genetic family (sisters & a cousin, uncle or 2) that I keep as a permanent part of my life (all out of the org). But I have a new family made up of my wife, her parents & some very close friends that all understand and care about me more thatn my parental units ever did. My inlaws have actually been better parents to me than my own over the last several years. My new family has been with me, supported me and loved me unconditionally through thick and thin.
While you may suffer a loss of family (and this hurts, alot trust me) now, there is much much more out there and many people that will care about you and love you for who you are, not who they wish you were.
I wish you well, put Chris (my wife) & I on the "new family list"
Big Willy
do jw youths understand that if they just didn't get baptized their parents would not be able to shun them later?
they must be able to see how this works in other families.
is it feasable for a jw teen to reject baptism?
Yep, dad was an elder (PO at one point) exbethelite, pioneer, etc. I had to follow in dad's footsteps and got baptised at age 10 (cuz everyone can make well thought out life decisions at 10). I pretty much learned to tell people what they wanted to hear from a very young age. At the time the brainwashing was well implanted and the idea of ever leaving never crossed my mind. In retrospect, never getting baptized would have made alot of things easier over the years.
Big Willy
