Hey Gizmo, welcome to the board, you've definitely come to the right place!!
Sounds like you've gotten yourself in quite the predicament. My situation isn't exactly like yours, but it has its similarities. I'm also 20 years old and I have found myself madly in love with a Jehovah's Witness, though my boyfriend, who is 28, by the way, isn't devout, he's inactive and unbaptized and never attends meetings, he just follows a few of the rules of the Watchtower Society that are most convenient for him, like no holidays and no voting.
That being said, I also know how hard is it to be involved with someone in this organization. I love my boyfriend with all my heart, but it is very hard to reconcile my beliefs and values with his, and he is very stubborn about his beliefs and has no trouble saying rude things about what I believe. I have never said anything against his faith, but he can be very vocal in his disgust for mine. He loves me, I have no doubt about that, but he is very intolerant about my views. JWs have been brought up to believe that their beliefs and only their beliefs are correct and that everyone else, regardless of religious affiliation, is wrong, under Satan's control and doomed at "Armageddon". I don't blame my boyfriend for his intolerance, I blame the WTS for indoctrinating him like that.
That's just the thing, the WTS is a high-control group (I hesitate to say "cult" because that word is so strong and I don't want to offend you, though I do believe that the WTS qualifies as a cult) and it can and will control every aspect of its members lives. So maybe you think it's OK to not have holidays and such, that's fine, but would you be OK with attending meetings 5 times a week, going out in field service (knocking on doors to convert others) for many hours a month, curtailing any and all contact with non-JWs, even your family, performing only "approved" sexual acts with your wife (yes, the WTS even controls the sex lives of married couples), refusing blood transfusions if you were ill or injured and then preventing your children from living a full childhood by refusing to allow them to join sports teams or participate in "worldly" activities with other non-JW children, subjecting them to being outcasts among other children, forcing them to come out in field service on the weekends, taking them to all meetings and possibly even ending their lives by refusing blood transfusions to save them in the event of injury or illness?? Yes, JWs are forced to refuse all blood transfusions, even if it means death, so you can end up in a situation that requires you to let your child die by refusing a blood transfusion for them. Would you be able to live with yourself if your child died because you refused a safe and easy medical treatment to save him/her?? And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
If you want to start dating this girl, you will have to start studying with the JWs, then you will be subjected to baptism, which involved pledging your allegiance to God and the WTS (you will be forbidden from pledging allegiance to the flag or a country, but you will be forced to pledge allegiance to the organization - that screams hypocrisy to me), and then, you will be forced to have chaperones on any and all dates with this girl. JWs date to marry only, and they are forbidden from having any form of sexual relations before marriage. That means no sex before marriage, and even kissing can be seen as being too sexual for unmarried JWs, it is frowned upon by the WTS.
Let's not forget what will happen to you if you are baptized and then decide to change your mind or if you do something that is against WTS doctrine - you'll face disfellowshipping. That means that they cut you off completely from the WTS and every JW that you know will shun you and act as though you are dead. Think that friends wouldn't do that to you?? Think again - "love" and "friendship" in the WTS is completely conditional on you remaining loyal and subservient to the WTS. If you are disfellowshipped, they will no longer love you and consider you a friend. And if you are married, disfellowshipping can affect your marriage - after all, a good JW doesn't have any unnecessary contact with a disfellowshipped person. How would you feel if you became a JW, married this girl and got disfellowshipped for whatever reason, only to find that she no longer wanted to eat a meal with you?? It could happen. Sad but true.
I am glad that you have found God and that you are searching for spirituality in your life, but I don't think that the WTS is where you'll find what you need. This organization is very controlling and strict and it will control all facets of your life, down to the smallest details. And questioning their logic will only get you into trouble - JWs are trained to counter arguments against their beliefs, no matter how wrong they are, and they are forbidden from questioning the authority of the WTS. That's something they don't tell you when you get baptized - while you are studying to become a JW, you are encouraged to question your previous beliefs, but once you are a baptized JW, you are forced to not question anything that the WTS tells you.
I think that if you want God and religion in your life, then keep searching for what you need and don't be afraid to study the Bible on your own and decide for yourself what you believe and what you don't believe. Think about what you want in your life and what you need, and evaluate these things. And think about your family and friends - would you be willing to cut them all out of your life to become a JW and be with this girl?? Think about that.
This girl will only love you if you become a JW, how can that be love?? Her love for you is conditional on your membership in the WTS, which is so typical of JWs, and conditional love is not real love. If she really loved you, she would love you for who you are, not for what she thinks you should be.
I know I sound like a hypocrite to say all of this and still continue my relationship with a JW, but my boyfriend has stated on many occasions that, even though we don't believe the same things and he doesn't agree with many of my beliefs, he still loves me for who I am and he wants to make me happy. He has never asked me to convert and never based his love for me on that, so I have more leeway in my relationship than you have in yours. I have unconditional love from my boyfriend, you have a girl who will only love you if you do what she tells you to. Her potential love for you is conditional, is that what you want??
And I believe that God loves all of us for who we are and that, if you follow the Bible and form your own opinions, God will see that and appreciate it. The God I believe in isn't spiteful, He is loving and wants all of His people to be happy. For me, He does not base His love for us on which church we attend, He bases it on who we are and how we love and serve Him. You need to decide what you think God wants from you and how you can achieve that, and maybe the WTS isn't the right path for you.
Stick around the board, there are lots of people here who have been in similar situations and know a lot about the WTS and its rules and lies. Ask whatever you want, these people are more than willing to help you out however they can. Don't be shy, we're here to help!!
I wish you all the best.
-Becka :)