I think that you should come clean with the wife (but only if you genuinely feel sorry for your actions). Otherwise, walk away and never interfere in the marriage again. Chances are they will probably not last very long anyway, but it wouldn't be because of your continued involvement. I once loved someone who was married and I refused to have an affair because I loved him enough to not be the cause of his failed marriage or of taking him away from his kids. It was painful and I thought about him all of the time because there was real feelings there. He went on to cheat with someone else and I am happy that I was not the one who broke up the marriage. I realise now that if a guy is not man enough to either work on his relationship or come clean and end it before hooking up with someone else he is not a very honest person. Chances are he will be single sometime in the future, but you might want to consider if he would the one for you even then. The guy that I loved is now single, but I will not be with him because of his actions (hitting on me while he was married and then cheating on his wife). I am sorry for being harsh, but relationships should be respected. I wish you the best in the future and I hope you continue to post here. Gabriella
gabriella
JoinedPosts by gabriella
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53
Should I go to the elders about the affair?
by weeone ini am a sister that kind of "fell away" from the organization.
i felt that i wasn't accepted by my brothers and sisters (long, long story).
whatever i did i wasn't "perfect" enough.
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The Efficacy of JWs Shunning (Your experiences and analysis)
by JW_Researcher inim doing a bit of research for an academic paper on shunning and am interested in your response to any or all of these questions.. please think back to when you were a jw (if necessary) or to other jws you knew.. 1) does shunning work?
(for example, does it bring sinners to their senses?
does it keep the congregation clean?
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gabriella
I am inactive but not df'd. When I get shunned it makes me angry and hurt, but definitely doesn't make me want to go back. So, in that way I'd say it is ineffective. It just seems ridiculous to me and doesn't make me want to be active again. I think where they are really going to get themselves in trouble with lawsuits is not making exceptions for family members. There is such a thing as grandparent rights and parental rights and when they encourage young people to shun their own df'd parent or grandparent that seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen. I've come to look at shunning as emotional blackmail and I could see them having to change it in the future, if not by choice by Caesar's law.
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Well, It Didn't Take Long for Obama to Play the Race Card...
by owenfieldreams inhttp://www.comcast.net/articles/news-politics/20080421/politics-usa-politics-obama-race-dc/.
wow...who didn't see this coming?
lol....and keep in mind, this is coming from a guy that claims to be different and a uniter.
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gabriella
I think that Obama was right on about what will be brought up, "he's young and inexperienced, I'm just like you, oh and he has a black preacher." That's exactly what the McCain arguement will be, but Obama should let the voters see through it and always take the high road, because that is what we like about him. I think that people are fed up and can see through the Republican group thinking. They are so affraid of any differing views, acting like all Muslims are radical suicide bombers and we wonder why foreign relation are how they are. Diversity makes the world go round, rather it is race or religious diversity. It is time to join the 21st century and stop acting like a country of cavemen.
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Brothers studying for Phds concerned about stand on higher education
by truthseeker inthis is a post from channelc and is relevant here for the discussion of higher education.. http://www.channelc.org/cgi-bin/eboard30/index.cgi.
hi friends,.
perhaps some of you have read the forums and seen the wts has moved one step further backwards in its attitude to education.
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gabriella
They are actually taking 'privileges' away now for going to college? Unreal! Who is going to pay the Kingdom Hall mortgages? I am in Nursing School to get my R.N. and ever j.w. I run across act like it's a big waste of time. So, I can imagine how they react to those going for their PHD. When will they allow people to think for themselves? I really want to retire in Tuscany someday and ask them if it was still a big waste of my time.
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What do you want out of your relationship?
by Bumble Bee ini know there have been alot of threads lately about what men want, what women want etc, but i'd like to hear what you want out of your relationship, be it marriage, living together, or whatever.
what is it you are looking for in a relationship?
what do you want the relationship to fulfill for you individually and as a couple?.
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gabriella
Friendship, honesty, and good communication. I was friends with my hubby for three years before we got married and trust him more than probably anyone I've ever met. I think the tricky part, though, is balancing 'dependability' and friendship with passion and excitment. Because of the years of friendship and knowing everything about each other, it can be difficult to keep things new and unpredictable. I would say that the perfect relationship would involve keeping a balance between those two kinds of love, being comfortable but not too "comfortable" that you take each other for granted. There are so many kinds and degrees of love, that finding a love that you can both live with and live for is a beautiful thing.
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Adultery of a JW
by hurt by JW ini have a question for jw's.
i have a problem with a jw .
its been going on for a year now.
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gabriella
It is not allowed by the j.w.'s,, she is definitely leading a double life. She sounds like quite a winner. You probably aren't going to like this, but I think that you and your husband might benefit from marriage counseling. I'm glad that things are going good for you right now, but there has to be an underlying reason why he put himslf in a compromising position several times. I would have a hard time believing my husband that he was truely sorry if he went back over there for any reason. Even if whatever his weaknesses were are better now, it can't hurt to get even closer. I wish you both the best.
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Republicans Face "Extraordinarily Problematic" Crisis
by nvrgnbk inafter string of losses, republicans face crisisby jonathan weisman and paul kanewashington post staff writers .
thursday, may 15, 2008; page a01 .
house republicans turned on themselves yesterday after a third straight loss of a gop-held house seat in special elections this year left both parties contemplating widespread democratic gains in november.
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gabriella
Both parties need to keep in mind that they are elected by the people, for the people (that means all the people). The reason that I lean Democrat is that what is scarier to me than "higher taxes" and terrorists is a powerful, wealthy political party that feels no responsibility toward the people who elected them. My attitude toward government is "do some good or get out of the way". I would rather live in a no police state than pay taxes to a Republican dominated government that chooses to benefit the oil comanies and CEOs at the expense of hard working individuals. Sorry if I am being harsh here, but I feel that there is something really morally wrong with the current administration.
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This is how JW's view the change in the book study
by TooBad TooSad ina very good friend of mine is convinced that the change in the book study arrangement.
is a sign that the end is so near and the jehovah made the change to emphasize the.
importance of the meetings.
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gabriella
I had a pioneer tell me that she thinks it is a loving provision so that families can have more time together. They finally realized that strong families make up a strong congregation, what a concept, dumb xxxes. I always thought that the five meetings a week was too much, fortunately I kept a good relationship with my real family (biological) when I was in. Now that I am out, if I heard any group of people say that "we are your new family", it would set off a red-flag cult allert.
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How many JW that are not raised in the truth have left the organization?
by THE_CHOSEN_ONE inaccording to watch tower statistics about 30000 thousand people per year left the organization.
my question is: how many of them in are not raised in the truth?
sorry for my poor english.
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gabriella
I came in at 13-yrs-old and left at 24. I always had good childhood memories of life before (all of the family together for Christmas and B'days,ect). Even though I became a "good little witness" and made them my new "family" (disgusts me now), in the back of my mind I alway had those fond memories. So, it was easier for me to leave than for some.
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Hillary Clinton
by free2beme inhas anyone else noticed that since the swing stopped favoring hc that the pictures of her one online news websites have shown an angry woman?.
obama is being shown as a leader.
mccain is shown as a leader too.
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gabriella
Buffalosrfree-
Where is your compassion? Healthcare is a human right and many other countries do provide it. It is immoral to not provide care for our elderly and our children who dearly need it. If it keeps going up 30% a year, eventually only the elite will be able to access it and that is abusive. If a socialist society does take care of it's citizens, then maybe socialized medicine wouldn't be a bad way to go.