can't think of a funny story but as a kid I always laughed at some of the names...Dorcas, Peleg, etc. not sure if I'm spelling those names right....been a while since I read the bible.
limbogirl
JoinedPosts by limbogirl
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22
Are there any funny stories in the bible?
by ballistic in.
i posted on a thread earlier that i'm sure jesus had a sense of humour.. i clicked submit post.. then i thought, yeah i'm sure he did but he didn't tell any jokes did he?
in fact i can't think of anything funny in the whole bible.. here's your chance to post a bible story that gets you roaring with laughter...
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36
The rudeness of people
by greendawn inwhat were some rude things people said or did to you?
i remember once this guy who farted loudly several times in quick succession and then apologised to those present in the room by saying: oh had some coke that's where the gases came from, don't worry they are not the smelly meaty ones.
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limbogirl
It's rude to park in a handicapped parking space when you're not handicapped. happened last week at the local burrito shop -- I parked next to this car in a non-handicapped space and as I was getting out of my car noticed that the interior of the other car was a filthy mess, plus it had all of these stuffed animals in the back window. I tok a closer look and what do you know? the backseat was strewn with jw literature. went inside and looked around and immediately spotted two women wearing "modest attire" and looking every bit the jw pioneers. sat near them and then watched as they left the restaurant and yep, you guessed it...got into that car. both walking upright with no visible handicap.
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Were you ever scared of going to prison as a JW?...
by Hecklerboy ini remember growing up a jw and always being told that someday the goverment would turn on us and throw us in prison.. i was watching a documentary on national geographic about san quinton prison and it brought back old memories of those fears.. i remember thinking how scared i would be if i had to go to prison and what i could do to protect myself.
i would think of how i could just stay in my cell all the time so no one could hurt me.
especially after seeing stories on the news about riots and rapes and people getting stabbed.. leave it to the jw's to make a kid worry about going to prison.
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limbogirl
this topic came up in our house many times when I was a little kid. my younger brother loved sweets, candy, etc and since we were never allowed to have any kind of junk food he would do anything to get his hands on the stuff. My parents always joked that he would sell the WTS out and give the authorities any information they wanted for a stick of gum. This always got big laughs...but thinking about it now...so weird for this to be a discussion point with children!! btw, my parents had my brother pegged correctly!! only the stick of gum wouldn't be necessary.
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When you were an active JW would you have had this sticker on your car?
by ObservingTexan ini saw a car today that had a bumper sticker that said "i ".
considering what is taught by the wts about jesus would you have ever put a bumper sticker on your car with this message?.
ot........
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limbogirl
undercover: thanks for the memory...my parents would put the mags on our car windows when driving to conventions. (along with the aforementioned YHWH stickers). geez...we must have looked like freaks. and to make it even better they would do the witnessing thing at all of the gas stations we stopped at along the way.
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What's so special about the "Special Assembly Day"?
by Nosferatu ini never could figure this one out.
i get to sit on my ass and have my balls securely fastened to my underwear from sitting too long for only one day instead of two.
was that supposed to be special?.
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limbogirl
SPECIAL Assembly Day....that's the best that the marketing dept in Brooklyn can do to drum up some interest. I think it's funny that the jw-consumer keeps falling for it year after year.
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When you were an active JW would you have had this sticker on your car?
by ObservingTexan ini saw a car today that had a bumper sticker that said "i ".
considering what is taught by the wts about jesus would you have ever put a bumper sticker on your car with this message?.
ot........
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limbogirl
when i was a kid my dad had YHWH on our car. I forgot about that until reading this post. Recently I saw a vanity plate that said, JAH LOVR --- I wonder if that belongs to a jw. Big SUV in California.
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Sleeping at assemblies and conventions
by free2beme inmy in-laws still attend meetings and defend the faith to the best of their limited ability.
i saw limited, as their understanding of the faith ended somewhere around the 1980's and when you bring up new understanding, they think it might be apostate and do not listen.
there not alone, trust me, several witnesses do not grasp the changes.
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limbogirl
I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to...pantyhose were too binding, feet hurt from tromping up and down stairs in high heels, I refused to use the restroom at the assembly as the smell factor was so bad...I've never been in women's restrooms that were as disgusting as those at the assemblies. ugh. I just sat there in absolute misery looking at the program every 5 minutes to see how many boring talks were left before we were able to leave. Have to say, I did love the cheese danishes....
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Were you a nodder?
by merfi inyou know.... one of those jws who nods slightly in agreement with a point the speaker makes?
i've seen this lots at assemblies etc but we do have a local nodder; we call her bonnie bobble-head cuz she reminds me and the kids of the bobble-heads for car dashes.
heehee.
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limbogirl
My mother is a bit of a nodder...no clucking noises, thank god, but definitely bobble-headed agreement.
I, on the other hand, was a different kind of nodder....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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help! family mbr reading my 3 yr old My Book of Bible Stories
by limbogirl inmy soon to be three year old son asked me yesterday if i was dying.
i was shocked that he knew the word 'dying' and asked where he heard it.
he proceeded to tell me that his aunt (a jw) read him a story about jesus twiste (christ) and jesus was dying.
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limbogirl
To all of you that responded on this thread: Thank You! Once again you've given me a lot to think about...
I think I will start by buying a children's bible story book for him that we can read together since this is clearly an interest of his and obviously he's being taught when not with me. This is going to be a hard exercise for me and I worry he'll eventually ask, "what do you believe, mama?" and what will I say?? Believe it or not, even after not being a jw for 8 years, it's impossible for me to embrace another belief system. Perhaps because of having "this is the truth, we are the only ones who are right" pounded into my head for so many years? I have no idea what I believe (other than the jws are NOT right). I don't even know where to begin looking for my belief system and frankly I wasn't too bothered by it until this issue with my son began surfacing.
Anyway, I appreciate all of the insight...I think Blondie touched on something that is so true....don't underestimate the love and respect of my son. I think because of the situation I'm in and the fact that I don't have full custody of him I get a bit insecure that he'll forget that I'm his mother and maybe he'll be swayed by his Aunt or some other person. I struggle with these feelings a lot. Silly, I know...
and can I just say...I love being a mom...I can't imagine life without my son. Funny how just a few years ago he didn't even exist and now there is this little tornado full of energy in the house. I'm amazed by him every day and so in love with him I can't even believe it sometimes.
Biker-Chic: surely you jest...he won't always think I'm a Goddess?? what?!?!
thank you all again! this forum is the best!!
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37
help! family mbr reading my 3 yr old My Book of Bible Stories
by limbogirl inmy soon to be three year old son asked me yesterday if i was dying.
i was shocked that he knew the word 'dying' and asked where he heard it.
he proceeded to tell me that his aunt (a jw) read him a story about jesus twiste (christ) and jesus was dying.
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limbogirl
yikes! there's a new great teacher book? that will be next. I just checked my calendar and it turns out that my son is with me on memorial night...thank goodness or else I'm sure the ex would allow him to go with his grandparents.