Welcome!
A high control organization needs docile, abiding and non-questioning followers. See North Korea as an additional example.
Many individual Jehovah's Witnesses are docile, abiding and non-questioning; to a degree not seen in the public at large. As are many North Koreans. Is it out of love or fear, is the question. But, the answer is that it doesn't matter. Because without the character trait, the organization would not survive.
I hope you the best on your spiritual journey. I was never an elder, or an MS. I left when I was a snotty nosed teenager in 1985ish. I wanted to go to college. That was against the rules becuase the "Generation of 1914" would not pass away. I went to college and followed my passion. My older siblings were teenagers leading up to 1975. They were also discouraged by the Watchtower Society to not go to college, because the end of the world is near. My father was discouraged to go to college (or even marry) in the 1950s, becuase the End was near. He eventually took a few classes, and one sibling went. They saw that college was not sinful. And, they all rallied around me to go and buck the WTS. I bucked the Society too.
So, the new ruling is that there is an overlapping generation. The fact that the world is going to go on is manifest in the building of new Kingdom Halls and Bethel locations.
Just, keep thinking. It's going to be hard ride for you, as it was for many of us. Watch the movie, "The Truman Show." It has nothing to do with the JWs, but everything to do with what you are going through.
Skeeter