I haven't been on here in a few days, or if I did get on it was only for a few minutes. The last few days I have felt strangely at peace, with life, with my children, and with me. I’m wondering if this has anything to do with the fact that I just lost my mother in law. She was almost like my mom. She welcomed me into her home and her family with open arms, no questions asked. She loved me unconditionally. I could talk to her about any thing and she would give her honest opinion. I don’t have a close relationship with my mom, never did, even when I was a dub. So my mil was very special to me.
I’ve just been getting this odd feelings that will come over me all of a sudden, and I will see a flash of light. Or I have one of those dreams where I’m not all the way awake but not all the way asleep either and I see the sky all blue and white and I see her outline. Or the other day we went by the cemetery and visited her site, the sky was so cloudy there wasn’t a spec of blue that I could I see. Then as we were leaving I look up to my right and out of no where there was a hole and the sun’s rays where shinning through and I could see the blue sky and I felt calm, and then it was gone.
I was raised to believe that only the 144,000 go to heaven, but I know that she is up there. I feel that she is watching over us all. She loved her family so very much. I just hate the little bit of doubt that will pop up every now and again, but I’m working on it.
~ RIP Nana Pat, We All Love You and Miss You ~
confused_101
JoinedPosts by confused_101
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I Feel At Peace
by confused_101 ini haven't been on here in a few days, or if i did get on it was only for a few minutes.
the last few days i have felt strangely at peace, with life, with my children, and with me.
im wondering if this has anything to do with the fact that i just lost my mother in law.
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confused_101
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Urgent advice needed
by ballistic ini've had a cold all week and this morning i coughed and went deaf in one ear and it's really annoying!!!!
i thought it would pass within an hour or so but i've had it all day.
any ideas on how to get my hearing back?
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confused_101
Having you tried yawning? That usually helps my ears pop. Sorry not much help, but I know it sucks! I hope all is better soon.
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Is it all downhill after leaving JW's?
by lynnmelo ini know many people will get angry at this, but i had to share some observations i've had since i discovered this board a couple of days ago (see my original post under "why all the venom?").
i'll be very honest and say that i was hoping that i would discover that the jw's were wrong about some things, including the so-called "apostate" sites (i have been recommended to some internet sites and some books that i plan to investigate further).
i was hoping to find that people really didn't need the jw's "spiritual food" to remain true to god.
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confused_101
I still believe in God, I still pray. The difference between this God and the God that I was forced to believe in growing up and for most of my life, is the fact that I NOW have free will. I can believe in what I want to instead of what I am being told what I HAVE to believe. I am free to research up on other religions without fear of being out casted. I am free of the judgments that are passed everyday by JW (if you don't think that they don't judge then you aren't in the click). I'm free of the hypocrisy that looms over the organization. I was raised as a witness and I was an active member until about 4 yrs ago. I stood around and heard the reg. pioneers talk about Sister So and So, and Brother What’s His Name. I’ve witnessed it first hand. The difference for me is now I know that I have the right to believe in what I want to and not what a cult is telling me that I HAVE to. I stated on a different post…a religion that controls every aspect of your life isn’t a religion. It’s a cult…
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Socialization of JW Kids
by Mysterious inthrough the course of my university studies in social sciences there seems to be a repeated emphasis on early socialization shaping personality and having a drastic effect on the long term life of kids.
studies of extreme neglect are often the only ones cited, such as children locked in a closet for the early years of their lives with no human contact.
it's lead me to wonder about the long term effects of jw socialization on youths that are raised in the organization.
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confused_101
"What about those that didnt lie to their parents and didnt have anything to do with their wordly classmates. I know some here that truly graduated without a single friend in their school. Just did their work, didnt even hang out at lunch and left."
When I read that I squealed "that was me". Not one friend in school (they were all sinners and bad association). I never skipped a class, never snuck out, didn't kiss a boy or hold hands until I was in the 10th grade (I knew I was going to hell after that). I've mentioned it on other posts that I couldn't talk to other classmates on the phone even if I had a group project that had to be done outside of class. My parents were that strict. I wasn't allowed to give out my phone# and couldn't get any one elses. It was a sad lonely childhood and that is a shame. I was always being preached to and never really talked to, if there was problem that did come up the answer was always "you have to do what Jehovah thinks is the best." What a crock of shit that was just the easy way out for my parents not to have to deal with the issues, that or we just would get spankings...ugh, now I'm just getting pissed off, so I think I'm done with this topic for awhile. -
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Has God Just Set Us Up For Failure?
by confused_101 inthe fact that in the very beginning god created man and then woman and placed them in the garden of eden, then he told them that they could partake of all the fruits from the trees but that they shouldnt touch his tree.
the tree of knowledgethat is like putting cookies in front of a kid and telling them that they cant eat them.
then he allowed satan to speak to eve (through the serpent) and convince her to eat and then she would know all that was good and bad.
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confused_101
wow...lot's of typos up there...it should have said:someone was talking about the movie "The Village"....t-hee
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Has God Just Set Us Up For Failure?
by confused_101 inthe fact that in the very beginning god created man and then woman and placed them in the garden of eden, then he told them that they could partake of all the fruits from the trees but that they shouldnt touch his tree.
the tree of knowledgethat is like putting cookies in front of a kid and telling them that they cant eat them.
then he allowed satan to speak to eve (through the serpent) and convince her to eat and then she would know all that was good and bad.
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confused_101
My hubby has said that the Bible is the best selling fiction novel ever written. I can see how that could be the case. I believe that every person alive can have a different interpretation of it. So I guess that is where the confusion for me lies. The borg teaches and pushes their beliefs and only those. I guess that is why they are what they are today. But the fact that God created us with free will, the chance to choose between good and evil, but then only teaches one way to view anything and everything and that is whe way of WTS, if you think or act in a way that isn't according you are DF and then shunned for the sinner that you supposedly are. It's funny that even after I had seperated myself from the dubs that I never viewed it as a cult, the thought never crossed my mind until someone was taling about the view "The Village" and how they thought that it was about JW, then they said how the religion was alot like a cult and that got me to thinking that it was alot like one. A religion that controls every single aspect of your life isn't just a religion...
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A question for all the new ones
by Lady Lee inwhat made you decide to post?.
i know some lurk for a while - sometimes a long while.
others find the site and do a bit of reading and sign and post immediately.
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confused_101
I had been thinking to myself for a few days that I needed to do a search and see if anything like this site was out there, and voila it was. This was the first place that I went to. I looked around for a few minutes the joined and made my first post as soon as I could. I just wanted to be able to vent about and discuss things that other people understand. I vent to my hubby but he was raised under a different religion and he doesn't understand what I'm talking about. He is confused by the basics of JW…lol.
It's still sticks into my brain all the times that we were told "not to pay any attention to apostates" and "don't even look in their direction" I was always curious as to why they were such bad people, I got the impression that they were like the worst people alive...lol, and here I am questioning everything that I was raised to believe and telling others to do the same. Does that make me an apostate? Oh well if it does.
I too can't wait for my 2 boys to grow up and be able to enjoy their lives without the fear that was instilled into me. To where they can be whatever it is that they want to be and to where they can believe whatever it is that they want to.
I’m glad that this site was here, it’s nice to be able to moan and groan to others that understand. Thanks to everyone here for making me feel as if I belong! -
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Freedom is spelled Wheelchair
by Lady Lee injust before i moved into my little apartment my scooter died.
it was an old scooter and the wires were so brittle that they kept shorting out.
when they tried to put a new motherborad into it the chair fried the new board.
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confused_101
Congrats! I, too don't see how walking around in pain is better than being in a chair and not in pain. Sure you are still semi-mobile hobbling along, but at the end of the day you are exhausted and in pain, yeah good trade off….NOT. You have a great perception of things and you are a very positive thinker. Enjoy your freedom!
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Has God Just Set Us Up For Failure?
by confused_101 inthe fact that in the very beginning god created man and then woman and placed them in the garden of eden, then he told them that they could partake of all the fruits from the trees but that they shouldnt touch his tree.
the tree of knowledgethat is like putting cookies in front of a kid and telling them that they cant eat them.
then he allowed satan to speak to eve (through the serpent) and convince her to eat and then she would know all that was good and bad.
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confused_101
I say this to my husband often when he brings some thing that I just can't seem to grasp. "If for most of your life you were taught that red was black, it would take a long time to realize that in fact red was red and black was black". I just feel as if I was taught that there was only one way to think and to view the world and if you think any thing other than what you were taught you are wrong and a sinner. It makes things very complicated. I am wanting and ready to realize that there is more than just one way to view things, how is it that borg doesn't realize that people have the right to view things differently and see things from their own perception? Why is it that it's either one way or not at all? Another comment that my sis made was that no other religion teaches what is "really" in the bible. OMG...how would she know, or any one else for that fact? JW are not allowed to really do any research into other religions (that is the impression that I always had), they are just supposed to go by what they are told and not to question it.
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confused_101
My family, as in my 2 little boys and my husband. They sometimes drive me crazy, but they also are my sanity. And of course there is me, I am quite important to my life now. I am living how I want to live and trying not to let the fear of what others think of me affect me as much.