Posts by NYCkid

20

When Will I Not Be Considered Disfellowshipped Among the Congregation?

by kwheeler in

here is a little background about myself.

my mother raised me and my siblings in the jw faith.

however, my father was not a witness and opposed a lot of the beliefs so you can imagine how our life was.

NYCkid

Thanks for sharing your personal story, you've been through a lot. Legolas is correct in terms of what you need to do logistically in order to become reinstated. If you really want to become reinstated, then speak to at least one Elder and let him know and hopefully he will guide you regarding the steps you need to take.

Frankly however, I think you're better off enjoying your life with your new husband and bidding a fond (or not so fond from what you've described) farewall to your JW past. If I may be so bold as to suggest that it appears you are really trying to gain the approval of your mother, which is a natural desire. Unfortunately with JW parents, we really cannot make them happy unless we are active JWs. Nothing else we can do will be good enough unless we are "serving Jehovah."

The past few years, the relationship with my mother has been on again off again due to the fact that I am disfellowshipped. She outright told me that Jehovah comes first to her before her own family. It was at that point that I realized what I was dealing with and became better equipped manage our relationship on my terms.

The important thing to remember is that your life is your life and the person you need to please most is yourself, then your husband, etc. If your mother or your religion for that matter, cannot accept you for who you are, then you need to accept that and deal with it as best as possible, then move on with your life.

I hope things work out for you and you find true peace and happiness.

Best regards,
NYCkid

17

Need help guys, please!!!

by brutusmaximus in

jw
friends

my wife and i got baptised at 16 which is now 21 years ago and we haven't been at the borg for 7/8 years but for some reason they still class you as a witness, weird!!.

anyway my sister in law is getting married (sept 06) and wanted my wife her sister to be a brides maid, she met the po he said read a 1984 wt and let me know what you think.

they read it and said they wanted her sister as bridesmaid so he said ok, no problem.

NYCkid

Sorry to hear about that, it's these sort of stories that make my hair curl. I've been out for 12 years now...(boy time flies when you're having fun living your life) but when I was in, the rule was that if the wedding ceremony was held in Kingdom Hall, then all members of the wedding party had to be Jehovah's Witnesses in good standing. Otherwise, the ceremony would have to be held at a non JW location for non-JW wedding member parties to participate. An Elder could still give the talk however.

I'm sure the rules have changed since the early 90s, but if by any chance this particular rule has not, you could present the suggestion that holding the ceremony at a non_JW location so your wife can participate would be an equitable alternative and would make all parties involved happy while preserving the joy of the occasion.

If they or their congregation is unwilling to compromise, then I'm afraid you'll have to deal with it by complying with the rules that forces your wife's sister to seclude your wife on her big day. Social etiquette requires this. Please just make sure you are reimbursed for any expenses laid out thus far (social etiquette also permits this).

Social etiquette also permits you to voice your protest in the way you've been treated by declining to attend the ceremony and reception while making it quite clear that although you wish the bride and groom all the best, it's their rudeness that prevents you from wishing them well in person.

Best regards,

NYCkid

12

I registered to vote

by NewYork44M in

jw
friends

on saturday i had to get my driver's license.

the clerk asked if i wanted to register, and i took her up on the offer.

i have often thought about joining the ranks of voters but never felt strong enough about an issue to go through the process.

NYCkid

Congratulations New York!!! You're exercising an important contribution to your community (unless you're a Republican..just kidding )

I too am fiscally conservative but socially liberal. I consider myself politically moderate and am registered as a Democrat. The current direction of this country is alarming and sometimes I miss the days when I was socially and politically ignorant as a JW.

My milestones for a former JW's (especially those raised in the religion like I was) are:

Register to vote

Enroll in college (at the bare minimum, take some world history and sociology courses, if you had any doubt about your decision to leave the religion, learning world history will probably solidify your decision)

Celebrate your birthday and all the holidays (you might want to host your very "first" birthday party and you can even make yourself younger by stating your age according to how many birthdays you've actually celebrated. And don't worry, no one will be beheaded at your party but keep a bucket and rags handy just in case

Get really drunk to celebrate your freedom, in a fabulous bar/lounge with your new friends (and if you're single, get laid too)

Plan your career and definitely start planning for retirement

Good luck and let us know how your first voting experience turns out. During my first time, I was scared to death that I would hit the wrong buttons or break the thing. I studied the voter information mailing like I would for a college final.

1

Attn Congress: Solution to Immigration Issue

by NYCkid in

i'll be contacting congress with a proposed solution to the immigration crisis, specifically regarding the issue of immigrants taking the jobs that ordinary americans don't want: hire jehovah's witnesses.

my mother was bragging recently about how a former nasa scientist became a jw and left his high profile nasa job to clean toilets (or something to that effect).

given that jws are taught and required to live simply by avoiding careers or secular education, it's more than likely that many jws will fit the need for low-paying menial labor.. the problem is that we need more jws to replace the millions of immigrants in the united states who may be forced to return to their home countries.

NYCkid

I'll be contacting Congress with a proposed solution to the immigration crisis, specifically regarding the issue of immigrants taking the jobs that ordinary Americans don't want: Hire Jehovah's Witnesses.

My mother was bragging recently about how a former NASA scientist became a JW and left his high profile NASA job to clean toilets (or something to that effect). Given that JWs are taught and required to live simply by avoiding careers or secular education, it's more than likely that many JWs will fit the need for low-paying menial labor.

The problem is that we need more JWs to replace the millions of immigrants in the United States who may be forced to return to their home countries. So you JWs on this list, get back to work and make those 10 hours a month so more people can be recruited into the religion so I can hire cheap labor to clean my toilets.

Regards,

NYCkid

9

The Powerful Resurrection Hope

by NYCkid in

im in the midst of visiting my parents, having only been allowed since my father is very ill. during the past few days, ive come to realize that one of the cornerstones of their faith is the hope of an earthly resurrection.

both of my parents lost siblings and parents tragically when they were very young.

the hope, of seeing them alive here on earth and the idea that upon their death they will only sleep until the time of the resurrection, is very powerful and is a driving force that maintains their devotion to their faith.

NYCkid

Thanks Narkissos and Leolaia for your thought-provoking posts.

Anewme...I hear you so much...my grandparents were suckererd in by this message shortly after thier 3 year old passed away.

Thanks,

NYCkid

9

The Powerful Resurrection Hope

by NYCkid in

im in the midst of visiting my parents, having only been allowed since my father is very ill. during the past few days, ive come to realize that one of the cornerstones of their faith is the hope of an earthly resurrection.

both of my parents lost siblings and parents tragically when they were very young.

the hope, of seeing them alive here on earth and the idea that upon their death they will only sleep until the time of the resurrection, is very powerful and is a driving force that maintains their devotion to their faith.

NYCkid

Although I had pasted my post in its entirety, the orginal post didn't include my question which I have pasted below:

For the Bible enthusiasts out there, is there really a biblical basis for an earthly resurrection, and who may participate?

9

The Powerful Resurrection Hope

by NYCkid in

im in the midst of visiting my parents, having only been allowed since my father is very ill. during the past few days, ive come to realize that one of the cornerstones of their faith is the hope of an earthly resurrection.

both of my parents lost siblings and parents tragically when they were very young.

the hope, of seeing them alive here on earth and the idea that upon their death they will only sleep until the time of the resurrection, is very powerful and is a driving force that maintains their devotion to their faith.

NYCkid

I’m in the midst of visiting my parents, having only been “allowed” since my father is very ill. During the past few days, I’ve come to realize that one of the cornerstones of their faith is the hope of an earthly resurrection. Both of my parents lost siblings and parents tragically when they were very young. The hope, of seeing them alive here on earth and the idea that upon their death they will only sleep until the time of the resurrection, is very powerful and is a driving force that maintains their devotion to their faith. I must admit the idea of seeing my deceased family members (not to mention historical persons that I admire) again and alive in flesh and blood is very appealing, and I suspect that this is why many convert into and remain with the Jehovah Witness faith.

22

How much longer till the TOWER is no longer?

by morwen in

jw
friends

i was wondering how much longer you think this org.

has until it completly falls apart?

it seems there is alot of things changing quickly.

NYCkid

Hey,

Good topic and although alot of you have good thoughts, I think I agree with Mary the most. I think we need a good 20-40 years before many of the pre-1950 die-hard generation leave us, which includes my parents generation. They were products of the 1914 generation who believed the "falseness" with fervor and most like my parents overlooked the 1975 issue. They are unwavering in their hope for Armageddon and a subsequent paradise; that is the only thing they have left to hold on to. Nothing that I know of will change their devotion to the Society.

My mother constantly reminds me that she fears for my life since Armageddon is right around the corner. It doesn't seem to phase her when I remind her that she used to tell my brothers and I, that we wouldn't graduate high school before Armageddon (I graduated high school in 1989, my older brother in 1986). The real tragedy of course, lies in the fact that my parents and many JWs in their generation lost out on a self-fullfilling and productive life and in most cases have little saved for retirement. Anyway I'm digressing but I really hope that by 2050, most of those who needed to stay in the religion for their parents and family will leave when that particular connection no longer exists.

Regards,

NYCkid

8

Scholarship for former JW's Proposal

by NYCkid in

jw
friends

since such a program does not exist as far as i'm aware of, i am proposing setting up a scholarship program for former jw's.

from my understanding, a non-profit entity and a committee would need to be formed (not sure of legal criteria for european, australian, asian, latin american and south american countries).

although specific scholarship criteria would be discussed and formed by a committee, i believe this should only be offered to those who have taken the step to leave the organization and who have enrolled in a two-year or four-year undergraduate and graduate programs.. anyway, i've mentioned this to former jw friends in the past who all think it's a great idea but it goes nowhere...anyone on this board interested?

NYCkid

I was contacted by a couple of the scholarship management programs. As I suspected we need to come up with a scholarship plan (like writing a business plan), contact information, scholarship criteria..etc, etc.

Is anyone here interested in volunteering to help out? I guess we'll form a "committee" for the first ever JW scholarship program...yay!!! We'll need to contact each other via phone and email (not through JWD). Please be serious and willing to participate for at least a year (so we can get this off of the ground and hopefully award our first scholarship). All of us who are among the "committee" cannot be eligible for the scholarship of course. If you're not interested in being in the committee but can help with fundraising, let me know as well. Also we will need people to get the word out once this is off the ground. Please understand that I intend for this to become something that can be awarded every year for as long as we can obtain funds. Even if we can only offer a couple hundred dollars a year, every penny counts to a college student. (Some scholarship programs I've come across offer only $50.00 or $100.00) This is not intended for a one-time-only award.

I'm going to contact other JWD boards as well to round up more interested persons.

Please email me at [email protected]

Thanks,

Jesse

PS - Jstalin...I see your point, this is something we can debate when a committee if formed. From my viewpoint, I have a lot of former JW friends who were disowned by their families and struggled to go to college. But it can be open to current or former JWs I guess...the debate begins..lol

46

Did you "cry" when the JW's elders Disfellowshipped or Disassociated you?

by booker-t in

my niece who is 19 and involved with a "married" man had to meet with her jw's elders last week.

she was terrified because the elders have told her time and time again to get rid of her "married" boyfriend but she refused.

she is head over heels in love with the guy.

NYCkid

I cried like a baby..well after they said they would have to disfellowship me, more because I didn't know how I would explain it to my parents. It was also a blow to my pride. I had gone from zealous superstar to someone who was....<gasp>...dis...fellow...shipped... It's really a demoralizing experience that anyone involved in a religious organization should never have to endure. Since it was about a week before they would announce it, I stopped by to announce it personally to all my closest friends and cried some more. They were all very supportive, sympathetic and oddly non-judgemental. In retrospect, even though at the time I thought I'd get reinstated, something deep inside told me I probably wouldn't. That is why I did that because I made some very good friends in the NYC area (having moved there about 4 years previously) and I wanted them to know that I appreciated their friendship and would always remember them. I must have visited about a dozen or so different friends/famlies over the course of a few days.

If I had to do it over again, I would never have gone to an Elder for "loving support." It's a lie....LOL

Regards,

NYCkid