Posts by freemindfade

14

God evolved from chimpanzee diety

by freemindfade in

researchers say todays lord almighty shares many traits in common with the chimp deity, including color vision and omniscience.. .

berkeley, cachallenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, biologists at the university of california, berkeley, presented findings thursday that confirm god, the almighty creator of the universe, evolved from an ancient chimpanzee deity.. the recently discovered sacred ancestor, a divine chimp species scientists have named pan sanctorum, reportedly gave rise over millions of years to the lord our god, maker of heaven and earth.. although perhaps not obvious at first glance, there are actually overwhelming similarities between the supreme being of today and this early primate deity who preceded him, said dr. richard kamen, a leading biologist who also heads berkeleys paleotheology department.

the holy chimp moved around on all fours, but its descendants eventually began walking upright to expend less energy while foraging across the infinite reaches of the universe.

freemindfade

Hilarious

21

Ok, so in the spirit of the April broadcast, what do you want to ask god to fix for you?

by stuckinarut2 in

so by now most of us have heard about (or watched) the april broadcast and the ridiculous "experience" of the guy that asked god to fix his construction leak before he believed in him..... so, what would you like to "pray that god fixes" in your life??.

humorous or serious replies welcome!

(although sarcastic, cynical and funny replies preferred hehe).

freemindfade

"Almighty Desert god of jacob... please take me back in time so I can not be baptized into a wacky cult! Thank you big guy"

14

God evolved from chimpanzee diety

by freemindfade in

researchers say todays lord almighty shares many traits in common with the chimp deity, including color vision and omniscience.. .

berkeley, cachallenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, biologists at the university of california, berkeley, presented findings thursday that confirm god, the almighty creator of the universe, evolved from an ancient chimpanzee deity.. the recently discovered sacred ancestor, a divine chimp species scientists have named pan sanctorum, reportedly gave rise over millions of years to the lord our god, maker of heaven and earth.. although perhaps not obvious at first glance, there are actually overwhelming similarities between the supreme being of today and this early primate deity who preceded him, said dr. richard kamen, a leading biologist who also heads berkeleys paleotheology department.

the holy chimp moved around on all fours, but its descendants eventually began walking upright to expend less energy while foraging across the infinite reaches of the universe.

freemindfade

Researchers say today’s Lord Almighty shares many traits in common with the chimp deity, including color vision and omniscience.

BERKELEY, CA—Challenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, biologists at the University of California, Berkeley, presented findings Thursday that confirm God, the Almighty Creator of the Universe, evolved from an ancient chimpanzee deity.

The recently discovered sacred ancestor, a divine chimp species scientists have named Pan sanctorum, reportedly gave rise over millions of years to the Lord Our God, Maker of Heaven and Earth.

“Although perhaps not obvious at first glance, there are actually overwhelming similarities between the Supreme Being of today and this early primate deity who preceded Him,” said Dr. Richard Kamen, a leading biologist who also heads Berkeley’s paleotheology department. “The holy chimp moved around on all fours, but its descendants eventually began walking upright to expend less energy while foraging across the infinite reaches of the universe. This of course led to the bipedalism of modern-day God.”

“In fact, you can see a distinct likeness to God in the chimpanzee deity’s skeletal structures, not to mention its prototypical expressions of vengeance and wrath,” Kamen continued. “The great-ape god was, however, considerably smaller in stature, having not yet developed the capacity to occupy all space and time simultaneously.”

According to experts, divine life began as a single-celled all-powerful organism roughly 3.6 billion years ago, eventually evolving into a multicelled, sponge-like deity that bobbed and floated across the chaos of the early universe. Kamen explained that over hundreds of millions of years, the godlike life form became more complex, with limbs that allowed for locomotion across the endless expanse of the heavens, and sophisticated photoreceptor cells capable of seeing all things.

Based on newly obtained evidence, the Pan sanctorum is thought to have first experimented with creation ex nihiloaround 7 million years ago. Kamen noted that the chimpanzee deity made several early attempts to produce rudimentary solar systems, but on each occasion was spooked upon inadvertently creating fire, which is said to have caused it to screech loudly, angrily swat away the newly formed sun, and then scamper across the universe to hide from the flaming sphere.

“Natural selection played a huge role in the evolution of divinity, and in this regard, the adaptive value of Pan sanctorum’s immortality proved critical to its survival,” said Kamen, adding that with its opposable thumbs, the divine ancestor was eventually able to fashion primitive tools for creating crude oceans and basic mountain ranges. “Today’s Lord Almighty actually still has a small bony protuberance in the small of His back, the vestigial remains of a tail we believe was used by an even older, monkey-like god to facilitate climbing, allowing it to escape into the heavens when faced with danger.”

“That potential for threats made it an evolutionary imperative for the primate god to develop omnipotence,” Kamen continued. “As well as sharp claws and pointed incisors.”

Though its smaller brain limited its cognitive abilities, the chimpanzee deity is believed to have possessed not only self-awareness, but also spatial intelligence, object permanence, and a rudimentary capacity for knowing all that is, all that has been, and all that ever will be.

However, it was only relatively recently that the heavenly species developed the intellectual capacity for higher reasoning, critical thinking, and infinite wisdom, according to Kamen. For Pan sanctorum, he noted, the passage of divine judgment was “purely a matter of primal instinct.”

“While complex speech would not emerge until the evolution of the Cro-Magnon god from Pan Sanctorum, the chimpanzee deity was capable of using grunts and hand gestures to convey basic emotions such as happiness, anger, or the forgiveness of sin,” Kamen said. “However, it appears that the chimp deity often exhibited extremely aggressive behavior, in some cases unleashing its divine wrath with little if any provocation toward the mortal chimps it created in its own image.”

He added, “It is our understanding that these creatures lived in a kind of jungle-like forerunner to the Garden of Eden, until a day came when their enraged creator cast them out, flinging feces at them as they fled.”

233

What is BELIEF ?

by EdenOne in

stemming from the 'absentheism' thread, an old question came to my mind.

what exactly is "belief"?.

is it the same to ask: "do you believe in god?

freemindfade

I think with this discussion we've fallen into the trap of where we come from.

The word "belief" itself is dynamic. Not static. It has solid definitions in dictionaries. It has loaded ones religious and atheist groups.

Bottom line: only you know what you believe and what belief really means to you.

233

What is BELIEF ?

by EdenOne in

stemming from the 'absentheism' thread, an old question came to my mind.

what exactly is "belief"?.

is it the same to ask: "do you believe in god?

freemindfade

Edenone I get your OP. Regardless of the translation though it's meaning is context based and situational. For witnesses it's an absolute black and white tool. I have found recently my frustration with people asking me "what do you believe then"? I have grown to hate it. Because before I thought black and white now I realize belief is never 100% I guess it's kinda like myth butsters to me. Confirmed. Busted. Or plausible. The reality is most things in our life fall under plausible. Lack of belief in god is not a claim that there is NO god. This is where people can't understand atheists.

32

JWs And Near Death Experiences

by Cold Steel in

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freemindfade

Do some research on DMT. The "near death" experience is more likely than not due to when you clinically die your pineal gland in your brain releases a ton of DMT and you have one of these experiences. DMT has a hallucinogenic effect like LSD, however with DMT the hallucinations have similar elements.

The pineal gland, sometimes referred to as the third eye can be connected to many "mystical" experiences, visions, and so on. The mind is a powerful thing. Do a little research into the experiments that were done in the 60's i believe, many people had similar experiences with beings etc that could be compared to both alien abductions and near death (biological not clinical) experiences.

13

Scripture Challenge: Theists, atheist, anti-theists, absentheists, satan worshippers whoever can help...

by freemindfade in

can anyone give me one or more scriptures in the first 5 books of the bible that would describe yhwh the tribal desert god as loving, kind, merciful, etc?...

and by loving i don't mean, "in order to release all the jews from slavery god @$$blasted the egyptians with ten plagues because he was so loving to his chosen race"..

freemindfade

OrphanCrow

So with every puff I will thank the God of Abraham lol.

cappytan

Ok let me make an addendum to the OP

give an example of God being loving, merciful, kind, compassionate.

Not Moses saying God is F--ing awesome and so am I, plus super humble. lol

Also I should have put this in the OP, the reason I posted this is that I have a hunch there is no such scripture, but I don't know that for sure, so if there is one I want to know before accepting my own hunch

27

PSALMS 83: 18 What is the name of God ?

by william draper in

so many of us have been taught that the name of god is jehovah , if like me many have come to really appreciate god's name .. .

more accurately we , at least many or most love the name of jehovah , or more accurately should i say this pronunciation .

does god care what we call him , of course he does , he had his name written in the bible as yhwh ( best i can do on this computer ) , more than 6000 times .

freemindfade

"Jehovah" is a fabrication of monk... the end.

YHWH was what the Hebrew called their version of Aten.

It's all only important to witnesses and they have it completely wrong

13

Scripture Challenge: Theists, atheist, anti-theists, absentheists, satan worshippers whoever can help...

by freemindfade in

can anyone give me one or more scriptures in the first 5 books of the bible that would describe yhwh the tribal desert god as loving, kind, merciful, etc?...

and by loving i don't mean, "in order to release all the jews from slavery god @$$blasted the egyptians with ten plagues because he was so loving to his chosen race"..

freemindfade

cappytan

Good find, it doesn't really give an example of his being so though.

13

Scripture Challenge: Theists, atheist, anti-theists, absentheists, satan worshippers whoever can help...

by freemindfade in

can anyone give me one or more scriptures in the first 5 books of the bible that would describe yhwh the tribal desert god as loving, kind, merciful, etc?...

and by loving i don't mean, "in order to release all the jews from slavery god @$$blasted the egyptians with ten plagues because he was so loving to his chosen race"..

freemindfade

OrphanCrow

hahahaha perfect! except that is the opposite of love! in the judeo christian world he gave us the herb then said don't us it (according to his minions)