I can truly appreciate your issues and enjoy your insights. I empathize with you over the losses. I would like to know what your thoughts are in the other direction- how about so many dads losing custody for the same reasons. Many have posted on this site.
My wife continues to cling to the religion and, as typical, holds even tighter when I attempt to articulate some thought-provoking reality. If we should ever part, she would likely use the stability/anchoring argument of the religion on her (and the kid's) behalf. However, I would seek to use the aforementioned "realities" to my benefit to win custody.
Take care and God bless.