What Joy ????
well said.
i began losing my joy when my soon-to-be-ex DA-ed himself.
this may be too much for a "newbie" to share... but here goes:
my stb-ex left the org. my family freaked out. i had to do damage control. my elders never spoke to me (i mean like, not even say hi at the meeting). my best-friends began leaking gossip and slander (needless to say no longer best-friends) about me and my family and soon thereafter, stopped talking to me (note: i was still attending all my meetings at the time, and like a good lil' witnoid, still commenting et al.). my sister who was desperately trying to make it back into the org. was completely ignored by her elders (like after going for 12 months saying stupid things like "are you new?"). so i felt there was a lack of unity and love. this coupled with the existential questions and doubts i had had most of my short adult-life...
then one night, when i had given up most of my brainwashed beliefs, i was smoking outside at 3 in the morning and i prayed "if you do exist jehovah, please show me with a display of perseids"... i only saw one.
and that's when all the joy had finally left me.