Scully wrote: Several years later, he spends more time on personal hygiene than both my teenage daughters do combined.
OMG!! He just doesn't want to risk a repeat of that lessson!!
It seems extreme, but I suppose if he wasn't getting the not-so-subtle hints, the direct approach may have been all that you are left with. Did he ever mention that 'scene' to you again? Must have been pretty embarrassing for him at the time.
I haven't had a serious talk about this with non-family members, but in my own family it was just matter-of-fact. Some educational stuff relating to hormonal and body changes creating a 'smell' and bathing is just more important now. Probaby time to start using deodorant, too. The next visit to the supermarket included a trip to the toiletries isle and I let them pick out what ever deodorant they wanted. (Even if it cost an extra dollar or two - it was well worth the boost to their esteeme and my own enjoyment of being in their presence.) Both boys also got their own set of nice bath linens. Plush and durable. A double set so their friends would have something to use if they needed to shower up and no need to have the towels get stinky, too. Always had a clean set in the closet.
For MrsJones - I think a little gift basket is nice idea. And/or could you ask your son if he notices the stink on his friend? Tell him he'd be doing the friend a HUGE favor if he told him that other people can tell and maybe he should be sure to bathe every day with soap. And maybe twice. It might be a good exercise for your son - *IF* he has noticed the stench himself. If he hasn't yet, he might take note you mentioning it.
Oh!! How about this?? Next time they walk in to your house, you just roll your eyes and head and say: Whew!! ONE or BOTH of you stink!! Both of you go take showers right now. Throw your clothes in the hallway so I can wash them and I'll set some warm clean towels and some robes for you to wear while I wash the dirty clothes. Then have a nice little snack ready after they are back in their clean clothes smelling like young gentlemen.
Maybe?? Maybe not.. Good Luck!!
-Aude.