Posts by AudeSapere

Jehovahsheep wrote: i have known many jw kids that were happy and functional.your argument is weak.at least they have faith in jesus christ and will not be judged.can you say that about your children?

I was one of those kids. My parents started studying when I was 9 so I knew the joys of Christmas and Birthday's AND the feelings of separateness that goes with presenting your different views to your teachers and classmates. If you knew me then, you would have seen an intelligent, articulate, competent, composed, delightful, mature, happy and highly funtional child, teenager and young adult. Being the only witness family in our town and school system, my younger brother and I had the sole responsiblity to present our 'new' beliefs to faculty teachers, administrators and our fellow classmates. That's ALOT of responsibility to put on any 10- and 7-year-old. But there was hole inside that just kept getting bigger and bigger. In my early-to-mid-thirties it became so big that it interfered with my functioning as my feelings of isolation and loss became more pronounced. It inhibited my ability to reach out and connect with others on a meaningful level. What I learned from those isolation school exercises was to take pride in my isolation. Becoming so intimately familiar with isolation makes for a very lonely adulthood. Today, when I celebrate Christmas and other holidays, I frequently have this huge wave of sadness as the season brings up incredibly strong feelings of isolation. Where my friends bake bread and the sights, sounds and smells bring them back to warm loving embraces of extended family, my memories revert to the pain of extreme emotional isolation. At the time, we firmly believed that we were doing the right thing and we rejoiced that our persecution was limited to just feeling left out (as opposed to the brutal torturous persecution that our 'brothers' in Malawi were enduring.) We proudly (well, I can't really speak for my brother's feelings - I think he cheated when he thought noone was looking) took a stand for Jehovah and his Kingdom. Today I feel that my emotions are equal parts stunted in some areas and overly developed in others. The overdeveloped parts consisting mostly of scars. And I feel sadness at having missed out on alot of fun with some pretty dynamic classmates at a time of wonderment in our lives while we lived in lovely close-knit town. In the past 2 or 3 years I've connected with several of those acquaintances. I do not have fun stories to tell of trips and adventures out of school and was not aware of the inside jokes in the classroom. My JW friends were all in neighboring towns. Most of them are still JWs and while we have occaisional communication (I am neither DA nor DF but live on opposite coast now), we have little in common other than memories field service, bible study, meetings and a handful of pool parties to think back on. Jehovahsheep - don't be too taken with outward appearances of happy people. Alone at night in a dark room, those adults and children may not be the same happy people you think they are. They may just be putting a happy face because they don't want to make you sad or stumble you. Children need to be children in order to develop properly. When pressed to be adults at too early an age, they become stunted, twisted and scarred. Really... What harm is there in a cupcake? Let them eat cake~!!! -Aude.

28

"It seems to me you folks are worshiping the teapot instead of drinking the tea."

by BabaYaga in

a friend just shared this quote with me.

he read it in "pass the jelly; tales of ordinary enlightenment" by gary crowley, in which the narrator makes witty zen observations as he wanders through his day.

while having a discussion with some jehovah's witnesses who came to his door, he tells them, "it seems to me you folks are worshiping the teapot instead of drinking the tea.

AudeSapere

Without the teapot, would we have tea? Or would we just have a handful of soggy leaves?

Does the teapot make the tea or is it the other way around? If the teapot makes the tea then maybe...

...Then maybe the tea is the creation and the pot is the creator???

-Aude (playing Devil's Advocate)

..... [[Formatting is off for me. OP may have been created in Firefox??]]

43

Exposing the Sickness: they printed letter to editor on the WT's treatment of Ray Franz in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, Sat.6/12/10

by not a captive in

closure isn't needed.

in georgia recently, a religious "criminal" died.

this one had been brought to account.

AudeSapere

Nice.

26

Happy, Well-Adjusted JW. However... Pet Peeve. Please Sound Off Yours.

by Doubtfully Yours in

why the heck does the society have to publish more of the same stuff every single farging assembly???!!!.

as if we don't already have tons of literature already!!!

boring to keep reading the same stuff over and over and over again!!!.

AudeSapere

There was a thread within the past year that seemed to indicate they make money of the introduction of new books.

It's like a guaranteed sale to the organization.

Also donations for the convention itself.

My guess is that with general contributions going down, literature releases will increase.????

-Aude.

260

Who Are Your Past Circuit Overseers? It's a small world..

by mentallyfree31 in

who were your past circuit overseers?

i'm sure a lot of us actually know mutual people, as the co's relocate all over the country.. here's a few from the southeast us: (let me know if you recognize any names and post yours too please...).

ellwood johnson (new york/philadelphia area for several years also).

AudeSapere

On the east coast in the 70's: The Langley's, Athley Block and wife, Jim and Renate Pellachia.

One the West Coast in the 80's: The Weidener's, Paul Sekela and wife.

Can't remember the others. I think it's good that my mind has moved on.

-Aude.

16

I need some advice...regarding my jw dads funeral

by happyexjw in

i could really do with some sound advice regarding my dad who is a long serving jw and his funeral arrangments.. my dad is in his last stages of cancer and has been talking with the elders about his funeral and with his family.

because a lot of his family are not jw's and that myself and my sister are both disfellowshipped.

he has chosen to have his funeral at the crematorium and hold a memorial at the kingdom hall a few days after.

AudeSapere

Snoozy wrote: Play his favorite music for him now and tell him what you want to say now..you won't regret it. You may regret it if you don't.

16

I need some advice...regarding my jw dads funeral

by happyexjw in

i could really do with some sound advice regarding my dad who is a long serving jw and his funeral arrangments.. my dad is in his last stages of cancer and has been talking with the elders about his funeral and with his family.

because a lot of his family are not jw's and that myself and my sister are both disfellowshipped.

he has chosen to have his funeral at the crematorium and hold a memorial at the kingdom hall a few days after.

AudeSapere

Sorry to hear your dad is so ill. Being xjw makes a tough situation tougher.

you wrote: I fear that I will not even be allowed to touch his coffin because they will view it as spritistic and works of the devil.

When your dad has passed, talk to the funeral director (or whoever at the facility is in charge). Let them know that you need some private time with your dad so you can peacefully say good bye in private.

JWs do not really have a way to celebrate a person's life with eulogies. You could ask a few people to join you after the 'talk' so you can all share good memories of your dad. Whether a dinner in a restaurant or ice cream at a midnight at a local coffee shop. If near a waterway, maybe a group 'ceremony' at the beach or a favorite spot of your dad's. Raise a toast, sing a song, do a dance, give a speech, whatever form of expression works for you.

As far as the elder asking for a weekend 'ceremony'... THIS is where the JWs bragging about an unpaid clergy is detrimental to the sheep. With a paid clergy, someone receives a stipend and spends his full time being available to attend to the spiritual needs of the church. Without knowing this particular elder, I've known many through the years. Many have lost jobs because they missed too much time taking care of other people. Many of these very same elders have had to neglect their own families (good and bad events) because of having already spent so much time with cong members.

My suggestions for you is to not take the elder's limitations personally. Good that he is trying to be responsible and keep his job while not neglecting your families need/request. Say your own good-bye's in private. Go along with the family 'service' and invite willing people to your 'celebration' or 'commemoration' and make it as real and personal as you can. If any JWs attend, they may be surprised at how loving and touching it can be.

Again, I'm sorry for your hurt and feelings of isolation at this time.

-Aude.

27

Help! I need advideQ Elders want to speak to me..

by cia171 in

jw
friends

as you read in the title, the elders from my congregation want to have a chat with me...which could be about to things...either why havent i gotten baptized ( since ive been in this since i was born...ive been tortured all my life lol) or either because i have a worldly boyfriend.. i dont know what to say in either case!

i cant say i dont want to get baptized because i have to appear to like the religion til i graduate college cuz my mom pays for it and is pract blackmailing me with it, and i cant say tht i will cause i hate it!

and about my boyfriend they will either give me advice about why not to be with him or convert him...so i dont know what to say to to pacify them and not let it get to me...so any advice?

AudeSapere

cia wrote: except about denying cause im pretty sure they know about the boyfriend since it has been 3 years and alot of JWs know

Deny any 'questionable activities' that you two may engage in. Deny spending excessive time alone. Deny 'heavy petting' (their term, not mine).

-Aude.

27

Help! I need advideQ Elders want to speak to me..

by cia171 in

jw
friends

as you read in the title, the elders from my congregation want to have a chat with me...which could be about to things...either why havent i gotten baptized ( since ive been in this since i was born...ive been tortured all my life lol) or either because i have a worldly boyfriend.. i dont know what to say in either case!

i cant say i dont want to get baptized because i have to appear to like the religion til i graduate college cuz my mom pays for it and is pract blackmailing me with it, and i cant say tht i will cause i hate it!

and about my boyfriend they will either give me advice about why not to be with him or convert him...so i dont know what to say to to pacify them and not let it get to me...so any advice?

AudeSapere

TIA wrote: Tell them Jesus wasn't baptized until age 30. Also, tell them you want to get college out of the way first before you even think about baptism. As far as the BF goes........deny, deny, deny and say he's just a friend like other friends you have.

And I agree completely. Took the words right out of my mouth.

-Aude.

BTW - Welcome to JWN! Nice to have you contribute to the discussion.