jambon1

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Posts by jambon1

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  36

  Did You Start "Losing It" As A Witness?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  were you emotionally or mentally unbalanced at any time while you were a jehovah's witness?.

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  jambon1

  I always refer to the fact that in normal society I was a succesful young man who should have had the world at his feet (around 2002/03). In reality, as a JW I was a paranoid, insecure, pessemistic, depressing individual. I rmember on more than one occasion going into meltdown. The cause? Who knows. But, I did feel completely under pressure as a JW ministerial servant/pioneer.

  When I had my 1st little baby daughter I was forced to take note of my mental stability.

  I knew that I had to leave this religion. Not just for me now, but for my kids. I considered others now.

  I left. It hasn't been easy. Yet I considered suicide as a way out when I was in the religion.

  I'm happy I gained the courage & left.

  I really could have been dead*.

  *One night I was so miserable, I drank a litre of whiskey. I must have downed my last at around 11.20pm. I had to get up for work at 4.30am. I got up & managed to trace the line of a familiar tree on a stretch of road where I was able to do 60mph in my car. I considered just driving off the road & ending it all that day. I was a young man who had a lovely wife & 2 little healthy children. I was so overtaken by my misery in that religion.

  I just had to leave. For my own sanity & the future of my kids.
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  77

  What Things Were YOU Counseled For?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  elders love to counsel people.

  it feeds their ego.

  over the years, you must've been counseled on different things.. when i was almost of age to become a ms, an elder counseled me for my "lack of seriousness".

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  jambon1

  At one time I was counselled for being 'too happy'. On the platform, mucking around at ministry arrangements, laughing at the back of the hall etc, etc.

  Athough I was fairly miserable having to be a JW, I adapted and tried to make the most of it until I left. When the above was mentioned to me I realised I was in the wrong place altogether.

  I really do feel that JW's (generally) are a right miserable bunch. Negative, depressing individuals. They walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders.

  No thanks!

  Life is good, live it.
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  11

  The Watchtower hates Scotsmen

  by kurtbethel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  because i have carefully looked over every picture and representation i can find of the so called paradise earth published in the last 30 years.

  there are people in all sorts of clothing from many cultures, american casual, african, asian, hispanic, and others.. but i have not seen a single image that shows you kilt wearers will make it into the new systemtm!.

  does that make you so angry that your sporran stands on edge?.

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  jambon1

  Women love us men in kilts.
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  13

  I went to my 1st JW 'gathering' in 3 years

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the negative outlook of the jehovahs witnesses made me leave the religion.

  i was a young man (you can read my previous experiences) who was consumed by negativity.

  it made me want to kill myself at one point.. i went to a gathering with my wife recently & i have to say that they are just as negative as i was, but worse.. consumed with depressing tales of misery, depression & general pessimism.. in no way would i be attracted to those people.

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  jambon1

  The negative outlook of the jehovahs witnesses made me leave the religion. I was a young man (you can read my previous experiences) who was consumed by negativity. It made me want to kill myself at one point.

  I went to a gathering with my wife recently & I have to say that they are just as negative as I was, but worse.

  Consumed with depressing tales of misery, depression & general pessimism.

  In no way would I be attracted to those people. In no way would I want to be a part of their negative mindset.

  It took me 5 years to leave all of that behind. Nothing has changed.

  It makes me sad to think that so many people wasted their lives in that religion.

  Life is good. You gotta live it!

  .
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  87

  Circuit & District Overseers That Made An Impact

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have a lot of new ones on this site as well as some who have been here for years----i know this subject has been brought up before, but were there any memorable cos or dos that you can recall?.

  co arnie scneider was my last co when i was an elder.

  he was a very sweet man..

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  jambon1

  Ian Shanks was someone who made me re-believe the truth at a time when I was thoroughly toiling to hang on to the religion. Looking back, he was a proper society man who had a quiet ruthless streak (seen in my ministerial servant capacity & not obvious to many others). At the time I liked him.

  I just can't see past the idea that all CO's/DO's are real society men who are in a sort of JW bubble. Maybe it''s nice for them but when all things come to pass and they are possibly let down by the WTS or their beliefs then we shall see the making of the man.

  I'd rather live in the real world & be properly equiped to deal with lifes inevitablities.

  .
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  51

  Everything About Being An Elder is Weird (my misc rambling memories of being an elder)

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  for any brother who is a jehovah's witness, the goal is put before them to reach out for the privilege of being an elder.

  i can only speak for myself, but being born into the religion, i wanted to be an elder since i was 5. i would have much rather wanted to be a doctor or engineer, but those are the breaks..... i'll skip the part about what it takes to reach out, all the crap you have to put up with as a ministerial servant to get appointed, and go straight to the reality.. i know many elders who sincerely just wanted to be shepherds.

  i did want the spotlight.

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  jambon1

  Although only having been a MS, I can relate to some of what you mentioned. My initial good intentions were totally sapped by the internal politics, arse licking etc that goes on among the appointed men. Laterly I attended CO/MS/elders meetings & kingdom ministry schools for MS's. I was appalled by the sort of stuff that was discussed. It made me see how utterly controlled we all were from the appointed men to the rank & file witnesses. The WTS 'methods' were totally against everything I stood for. One month I gave a part on a kingdom ministry school, the next month I walked out of my congregation & never returned.

  Living as a JW wasn't ever for me. Getting to see the inner workings just made me realise it.
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  121

  November 15 Watchtower (Study Edition) - discourages showing affection to your spouse

  by CrazyBlonde in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  another gem from the same edition - article to be studied december 28 - january 3 (which most will miss lol coz of summer vacation) entitled "what do your prayers say about you?

  " page 6 para 19 reads:.

  19 when we are being represented in public prayer, we need to display reverential "fear of god.

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  jambon1

  I suppose this rules out the elders having a sly 'ham shank' under the table during a judicial comitee as they enquire about another persons sexual habits?

  What an absolute crock of bullshit.

  Really.
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  36

  Why do JW's pussyfoot around saying what Armegeddon really is?

  by Sour Grapes in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  jw's make armegeddon sound so sterile with statements like:.

  "when god brings an end to this old system.

  " "when jehovah.

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  jambon1

  My wife does this. When I go into the details of what they believe, and why I couldn't continue to believe it she becomes very uncomfortable.
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  35

  Besty Unplugged - My Life Story Part VII

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  << part vi.

  part vii not the end or the beginning.

  as mentioned previously i was starting to travel more frequently to the us on business, specifically los angeles.

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  jambon1

  Very good mate.

  Really enjoyed your story. I hope to do the same myself one day but at the moment I would struggle to write a coherant, logically developed peice as my mind gets filled with so much stuff as I begin to write.

  But your story was facinating & also heartbreaking too.

  The similarities in the way people are viewed/treated by JW's is alarming, predictable but also awful.

  Regards

  J
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  27

  Do you have many friends since leaving the bOrg?

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't have many in my physical sphere.

  but the ones i have are good ones.

  of course we share no 'history', since i never had a 'worldly' friend until i left at 48.. in my cyberworld [and some would argue the credence of that] i have found many fine souls with which to commiserate, share, grow.

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  jambon1

  I have always been naturally outgoing and made a number of friends when I was a JW.

  Toward the end though, I became disillusioned with most of my JW friendships apart from a few which I still have to this day.

  The thing I hated was having to be in peoples company. People that I really didn't like. Nasty people. Selfish people. Weird people. I absolutely hated being forced to spend time with them at meetings etc.

  Now, I size people up & make my choices regarding friendships. I spent 10 years of my life surrounded by assholes & feeling depressed because of it.

  Life is too short to be surrounded by assholes.

  I like my friendships now. Worldly people are loving & kind & give you pretty much unconditional love.

  A witness wouldn't give you the steam of their pish unless it somehow benefited them.

  Life is good now.