I think it is definitely better to be shunned completely. The back and forth thing
keeps you confused in your mind and your heart. Besides, they are supposed to
shun you completely. It makes it easier for everyone involved.
I wish they would stick to their rules. I would have been able to move on
with my life much better.
joelbear69
JoinedPosts by joelbear69
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22
The angst of dealing with family when they are still in and you are not...
by Layla33 ini don't think you ever truly make peace with it, somehow you learn to maneveur and swim in it like most things.
i have been out for so long, it's almost like a shadowy memory when i was in, but for my family it is all they have ever known and dared to know.. i feel for the people whose parents have cut them out completely, but mine never truly did that.
i guess we just loved each other a little too much to even think about losing the other completely.
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joelbear69
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The angst of dealing with family when they are still in and you are not...
by Layla33 ini don't think you ever truly make peace with it, somehow you learn to maneveur and swim in it like most things.
i have been out for so long, it's almost like a shadowy memory when i was in, but for my family it is all they have ever known and dared to know.. i feel for the people whose parents have cut them out completely, but mine never truly did that.
i guess we just loved each other a little too much to even think about losing the other completely.
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joelbear69
Well, I have similar experience and feelings.
I am out 20 years this year. My mom still really
doesn't think I don't believe it anymore and
when I even hint that I have a different belief
system she starts telling me how it makes her
physically ill to think I'm no longer a witness.
The only good times she can remember from our
lives is when we were out in service together.
Great. She was happy. I am insanely miserable.
In shear mental agony almost the whole time I
was in field service and at the meetings.
Boring repetitive heinous agony.
My mom and dad didn't want kids, they wanted
pets. I asked my dad once what his favorite
memories of me and my brother were. He said
he liked it when we were small and he could
completely control us.
My parents don't know me. They can recognize
my physical body, but my spirit and mind are
totally unknown to them because they just block
it out. I'm not sure if it would have been different
if they were not witnesses.
My whole family has blocked me out. They don't
actually shun me. But the don't allow me to talk
about my life or my beliefs or feelings or desires
or dreams. They never did.
I don't have a family. I have recently realized
that I no longer have any love for any of them. It
has simply died after a lifetime of trying to get
them to want to know me and love me for who I am.
And this goes far beyond the gay thing. Its just
feelings about life in general. Politics, history,
art, love, war, peace, trees. You name it, I'm
a stranger in their midst.
I'll see my relatives two more times. At my parents'
funerals which I will attend out of respect, but not
love. -
21
what did you get dissfellowshipped for and were you once "strong"
by looloo inin the truth (as they say) were people really shocked at you leaving or thought of it as only a matter of time !
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joelbear69
I never liked being a witness but I put
on a good show. Most people thought I
was the perfect witness until I was about
20.
People who knew me right before I got
DF'ed I am sure were not surprised because
they all knew that I was gay. I'm sure
that figured I would come out eventually,
which I did 20 years ago.
The people I grew up with were probably
surprised to some extent, but I'm sure
they had figured out I was gay also. -
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The End is Near
by joelbear69 ini swear i heard a crow meow at me outside a publix supermarket this morning.
the end is near.
post your own reasons for believing the end is near.
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joelbear69
I swear I heard a crow meow at me outside a Publix supermarket this morning. The End is Near. Post your own reasons for believing the end is near.
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Thinking of becoming a Witness again and my reasons for doing so :(
by reniaa ini've been a faded jw for 10 years i left because of my failed first marriage, i'm no hypocrite and realised i had left completely so i embraced the world and dived in, only christmas and birthdays i could not get into, they were too foreign to me having never celebrated them, like if i suddenly tried to do ramadan or something like that.. 1/ all the criticisms of the people in the truth you say on here, i've found in the world, warts and all only in the world nothing holds them back from being utterly horrible to you.. 2/ i got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, i got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later i am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and i was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.. 3/ parents-in-law!
i have been shunned by them as equal to anything you accuse witness families of and for the silliest of reasons, i had a disabled son and his grandparents said they wanted nothing to do with him because they didn't want to become attached in case he died.. 4/ i miss the honest friendships of the truth, i had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me, many trying to keep me in the faith a long time after i left but i was determined to fade so moved away completely, but i find friendships in the world so shallow in comparison and very hard to sustain :( i've never been a drinker and sometimes thats what friendship means you being a companion for them to goto pub with.. 5/ my recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, i thought why not find out about it, harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when i said to him how does he clear that with god, he replies "as long as i repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.. 6/ i recently out of frustration tried looking into atheism and joined their forums, it wasn't fun, they are as bombastic and arrogant as their religious counterparts can be from any religion, they make a religion out of not believing in god, it's very weird they talk of saving people from believing in god and offer nothing to replace it.
they said to me "be happy you are in reality now and enjoy it" and i thought "well if this is reality i've had enough of it".
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joelbear69
Like all choices, this one has costs and benefits. I will assume you are looking for current benefits, not post Armageddon benefits to being a witness. Benefits. Structure Typically decent people who will show concern for you and some will help you out in times of trouble. (Not sure what the differential is between witnesses and worldly people. Lots of worldly people are giving too.) Something to hope for. If you believe it. Costs. The time you have to invest in repetitive mental exercises. This is opportunity you could be using to learn new skills, explore new hobbies, go to school, read, etc. Having to mold yourself into someone who is acceptable as a member of a congregation. its your choicc.
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ECONOMIC MELTODOWN...DEVALUATION OF THE DOLLAR...U WOKE UP YET?
by What-A-Coincidence inhttp://www.infowars.com/?p=804.
gold at $1,110.
oil at $110.
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joelbear69
yawn. millions of people have been starving to death for decades. The US idea probably peaked in the 90s under Clinton. We might have made it if we had kept on the track of reducing the deficit. Bush's reaction to 9/11 (hey, how can me and my buddies benefit from this) moved the US in a different direction. McCain will get elected, the rich will get richer, the poor poorer. All you can do is live one day at a time. Be grateful for what you have. If you are a Baby Boomer be extremely thankful for you have lived in the most prosperous time in human history, 1950 to 2000. Joel's predictions: The dollar will continue to sink until the trade deficit is eliminated. Millions more US jobs will disappear, please practice birth control. Global warming will cause problems in the 3rd world, but not so much elsewhere. We will find an alternative to oil within a decade. The general standard of living in the US will diminish over time and become equivalent with poorer European countries. The United States will merge with Mexico and Canada to become a supercontinental nation by the year 2100.
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Surge in "anointed ones"
by dozy inthe nightmare scenario is slowly unravelling for the wts.. since 1935 , wtbts policy was to shut up the kingdom of heaven by implying that any new anointed was at best misled & at worst a fake.
franzs replacement theory did little to help matters.
this suppressed many jws from becoming anointed.. recent wt articles & changes in thought has resulted in a surge in jws claiming this status.
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joelbear69
They will stop publishing the number, perhaps as early as this year. There are two or three new anointed in my old congregation. These new annointed are my age or older. Only one annointed from my youth is still alive, Norma Swarlow. I only knew about 5 during the time I was a witness, other than those I knew at Bethel. All the ones I knew from Bethel are dead except for two. I think Barr and Jazcak. I can't remember for sure. Anyway, they will quit publishing the number or publish a fake number. They have no one auditing them on these procedures.
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Joel's Pioneer and Bethel Chronicles Part 1
by joelbear69 ini had auxiliary pioneered the summers between 9th & 10th .
10th & 11th and 11th & 12th grades.
generally this was .
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joelbear69
I had auxiliary pioneered the summers between 9th & 10th
10th & 11th and 11th & 12th grades. Generally this was
a miserable way to spend summer but it was mandatory in
our congregation otherwise I would have been marked as
bad association.
Wednesdays were rural service days which were my favorite
because you got like 5 or 6 hours and you only had to do
maybe 5 houses all day because you got to count the time
driving back and forth (I slept) and you got to count the
time when you were waiting for someone on a long call (I
slept in the car). My mother and the grandmother of my
young pioneer pals were great. They could always be counted
on for at least 1 hour long call sometime during the day
sometimes 2. These were awesome.
South Georgia near the Florida line where I grew up was loaded
with huge oak trees with spanish moss hanging from almost every
limb. We would park in the shade of these and snooze and
watch the moss blow in the breeze and dream of, well dream of
doing anything besides what we were doing. I usually dreamt
of playing tennis with my worldly friend David, with whom I was
in love.
Lunch was usually a cold sandwich and Hostess Twinkies and Fritos
bought from a Holiday Market, our local 7/11 chain. I always
bought the raspberry ones with coconut sprinkles filled with
creme. yum yum.
The best summer was the year I went to the Georgia Governor's
Honors Program. An accelerated summer program for honor
students. I went and studied Math in the mornings and History
in the afternoon. I even made a movie with a friend of mine.
I was the only one of my friends to actually get a diploma from
a high school. The year, 1976. Which explains why everyone
else I knew dropped out in the 10th grade and got their GED.
I was kind of marked for not dropping out, but didn't lose
association with my friends.
Part 2 - Joel's best friend goes to Bethel -
98
Torn between being Gay and the Truth.........
by ScoobySnax inis there anything worse than this?
sometimes it is ok, other times it sucks.
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joelbear69
Hi Scooby,
You can love God and be gay. It all comes down to what you believe about being gay and how you define
your own moral structure. If you believe that Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth, then you have
to believe that it was your choice to be gay or that you were born with this "weakness" that is
your weakness to fight.
There are certainly many celibate gay JW's. I've met dozens online so there must be thousands. If
you want to be a JW, don't beat yourself up about it, just resolve that you will always have
to be celibate and that the companionship you will have for your entire life will be the
congregation. If you believe it is the truth, then that is what you should do.
I personally did not leave until I had stopped believing it was the truth. I found too many holes
in the doctrines through personal Bible study and the study of history. When you apply hard logic
to any number of JW doctrines they simply don't hold up. They just don't. So then it becomes a
matter of faith. You believe it because you believe it. It melds well into your system of thinking.
You can't have your cake (so to speak) and eat it too. Now if you accept as 99% of homosexual
people do that you were born homosexual, then the whole concept of it being a sin or a choice
becomes difficult to rationalize.
I could not be a celibate man. I made it as a virgin until I was 25. But, beyond sex, I also
knew that I could not live alone the rest of my life. Mitch and I celibrate 19 years together
next week. I have not been a witness for 20 years. I still miss my friends and family, but
you only have 1 life to live. Try to make wise choices.
Take care
Joel -
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I believe Hugh Hefner may be God! Who would you pick? LOL!
by dawg inok, so i read what all of you would do with $200 million.
many of you posted something about playboy bunnies and the like....i think we'd all agree that hugh hefner has it made.
my college roommate used to believe that hugh hefner was god himself and i can understand his thinking.
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joelbear69
Dan Blocker aka Hoss Cartwright