betterdaze

Joined

• started 152 topics
• posted 1,995 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by betterdaze

• 
  25

  Newbie *waves*

  by Phee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hiya.... .

  i've been lurking here for over a year...(on the old forum and then this one)...i also post on several other forums.... got a long story, but i won't go into that right now.. some of you know me from the other sites, just figured this was a natural progression into apostahood to register here.

  see ya'll 'round!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  Welcome, Phee!
  
  ~Sue
• 
  20

  Abandoned "Jane Doe" Identified. She was a JW.

  by betterdaze in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  now we know her name: elba.. sunday, march 22, 2009. by susan k. livio.

  a security guard found her on nov. 2, 1994, wandering through the woodbridge center mall, well-dressed and clean but lost and disoriented.

  she carried no identification in her purse, and in broken english explained she couldn't remember who she was or how she had gotten there.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  Now we know her name: Elba.
  Sunday, March 22, 2009
  BY SUSAN K. LIVIO
  Star-Ledger Staff
  
  A security guard found her on Nov. 2, 1994, wandering through the Woodbridge Center mall, well-dressed and clean but lost and disoriented. She carried no identification in her purse, and in broken English explained she couldn't remember who she was or how she had gotten there.
  
  For years, a private room at the Senator Garrett W. Hagedorn Psychiatric Hospital in Hunterdon County has been her home, where she has remained a Jane Doe unknown to herself and the world -- missed, it seemed, by no one. All the while, Hagedorn's mystery woman drifted deeper into Alzheimer's, losing her ability to speak.
  
  But through the diligence of a Human Services police officer who made her case his own special mission for six years, she now has her name back and some of her past.
  
  She is Elba Leonor Diaz Soccarras.
  
  She will turn 75 in five days.
  
  She left behind six brothers and sisters and a poor farming community in northern Colombia when she came to the United States in 1969.
  
  Although she never finished the process of becoming a U.S. citizen, she entered the country legally. She is entitled to Medicaid and care at a nursing home, a more fitting home for an elderly woman than a psychiatric hospital.
  
  "Now at least she will have the dignity of dying as a human being and not as an unknown," said Human Services Police Lt. Eduardo Ojeda.
  
  Ojeda hasn't unraveled the more disturbing aspects of her story: how a sick and vulnerable woman wound up in the mall alone, and why no one ever reported her missing. He suspects she was abandoned in Woodbridge as she grew sicker and more difficult to manage.
  
  He said he plans to turn the file over to the Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office to determine whether a criminal investigation is warranted.
  
  "The fact that she was deprived of her IDs" tells him "whoever left her at the mall didn't want her to be identified and didn't want to be found themselves," Ojeda said.
  But clearly people remembered Elba.
  
  When The Star-Ledger and other newspapers reported details of her plight and published photographs in September, the tips poured in, Ojeda said.
  
  "The vast majority of these people wanted to remain anonymous, but they said she had a daughter living in Brooklyn," he said. He pulled the daughter's birth certificate, which lists Elba Soccarras as her mother.
  
  "Elba Leonor Soccarras" was the same name she uttered once to a staffer in Marlboro Psychiatric Hospital, her first home after she was found at the shopping mall. But because of her deteriorating condition, authorities could never be sure it was her real name; they could find no records for Elba Leonor Soccarras. And she told someone else her name was Alba.
  
  At Hagedorn she was "Jane Doe," and that was the name written on masking tape on her door.
  
  PAINSTAKING PROGRESS
  
  The tips last fall led Ojeda to the Colombia consulate's office, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, and New York state and city officials.
  
  Through records and anecdotes from people who came forward, Ojeda pieced together fragments of information amounting to minor victories and major disappointments.
  
  She had worked at various factory jobs making dolls, dresses and blouses, and was a member of the Toy and Novelty Workers of America Local 2233, Ojeda said.
  
  She had a boyfriend, but he abandoned her after she became pregnant with their daughter. She never married.
  
  She enthusiastically practiced her faith as a Jehovah's Witness. One woman told Ojeda she had seen Soccarras handing out religious literature numerous times in the Brooklyn subway station, and that they became so friendly she invited Elba to her home.
  "She said: 'I remembered she was having some tough times. I used to give her money for her daughter,'" Ojeda said. "She paid for Soccarras' daughter's class trips and a winter coat."
  
  Mother and daughter fought a lot, Ojeda said, citing reports from people who came forward last fall. Their relationship suffered in the girl's late teens and early 20s because Soccarras disapproved of her boyfriend.Ojeda says that when he interviewed the daughter on Feb. 27, the 36-year-old woman told him she had lost touch with her mother years ago and assumed her mother had moved back to Colombia.
  
  The Star-Ledger obtained her name and contact information through public records. She lives in Brooklyn's Flatbush section, in a tidy, well-preserved six-story brick building on a busy thoroughfare adjacent to a school and a church.
  
  Approached by a reporter outside her apartment Friday night, the daughter refused to comment.
  
  "I told you no," she said and slammed the door.
  
  WANDERING OFF
  
  In the late 1980s and early'90s, Elba Soccarras' life began to unravel. Her health declined. She got evicted.
  
  "She was taken in by another family for about eight months, but they couldn't handle her because she was wandering off," Ojeda said. "A couple of times they had to call the police to find her. They indicated to me she attempted to walk across the Verrazano Bridge on foot. She would wander the streets and call out her daughter's name."
  
  There must have been a period of time when someone was driving Soccarras to Woodbridge and leaving her there during the day, Ojeda says. Or maybe she lived with someone temporarily in Woodbridge.
  
  Tipsters told Ojeda there were frequent Elba sightings at the Pathmark supermarket in the Avenel section of Woodbridge, as well as the mall about five miles away. He learned she was a frequent Burger King customer, ordering a cheeseburger and a coffee every time.
  
  Marla Kentos, 34, of Edison recognized Soccarras right away from the newspaper photos as the well-dressed woman she frequently saw at the supermarket or the nearby bagel shop. Nearly every time Kentos went shopping with her mother, they would notice the woman walking alone with two large shopping bags.
  
  "She was there all the time," Kentos said. "He hair was always up, her face done, but you could tell she was misplaced. It was so sad. She was very quiet and to herself."
  
  When Soccarras' friends at church or from the neighborhood in Brooklyn stopped seeing her around, they assumed she had moved away or even returned to Colombia.
  "Like most immigrants, she came to this country looking for a better life, looking to improve her quality of life," Ojeda said. "Unfortunately she's one of many immigrants who life dealt a bum hand."
  
  But by confirming her legal residence, Ojeda has done her a favor.
  
  Although she received quality care at Hagedorn, Soccarras didn't belong there, state officials agreed. She was living at a psychiatric hospital only because, as a suspected illegal immigrant, she did not qualify for Medicaid, the pool of state and federal money that subsidizes nursing home placements.
  
  Now, with her legal status established, her guardian is searching for a room at a nursing home.
  
  "This is very exciting. It's good news for her because it means she would be able to be in a better placement," said Susan Hollander Whitman, Elba's legal representative at the state Office of the Public Guardian for Elderly Adults. "Being in a nursing home will provide her with the kind of care she deserves. ... She doesn't have psychiatric needs."
  
  Debbie Smith, the chief executive officer at Hagedorn hospital, said the staff's happiness for Elba is tinged with a little sadness. Employees over the years have brought Elba teddy bears and blankets to comfort her. She will be missed.
  
  "The bottom line is she does not need this level of service," Smith said. "But she has been here for a while. The staff loves her."
  
  Susan K. Livio may be reached at [email protected] or (609) 989-0802.
• 
  2

  Slow Motion God & Satan

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if one day = a thousand years to god and satan, they must live in uber slow motion.

  i wonder how long it takes them to finish sentences even?.

  g: "ssssssaaaaaaaattttaaaaaaannnnnnn, gggeeeeetttt uuuuuuurrrrrrrr aaaaaasssssssssssssss oooooouuuuutttaaaaa hhheeeeeaaaavvvveeennn.".

  1. 
  2. 
• 

  betterdaze

  Yes, LMAO here!
  
  ~Sue
• 

  Pious 'fight death the hardest'

  by betterdaze in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  pious 'fight death the hardest' s bo s iima it is unclear why those who pray prefer more aggressive end-of-life care e iima s sf people with strong religious beliefs appear to want doctors to do everything they can to keep them alive as death approaches, a us study suggests.. researchers followed 345 patients with terminal cancer up until their deaths.. those who regularly prayed were more than three times more likely to receive intensive life-prolonging care than those who relied least on religion.. the team's report was published in the journal of the american medical association.

  e sf .

  it suggests that such care, including resuscitation, may make death more uncomfortable.. just over 30% of those asked agreed with the statement that religion was "the most important thing that keeps you going".. keep going.

• 

  betterdaze

  Pious 'fight death the hardest'

  It is unclear why those who pray prefer more aggressive end-of-life care

  People with strong religious beliefs appear to want doctors to do everything they can to keep them alive as death approaches, a US study suggests.

  Researchers followed 345 patients with terminal cancer up until their deaths.

  Those who regularly prayed were more than three times more likely to receive intensive life-prolonging care than those who relied least on religion.

  The team's report was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

  It suggests that such care, including resuscitation, may make death more uncomfortable.

  Just over 30% of those asked agreed with the statement that religion was "the most important thing that keeps you going".

  Keep going

  The researchers from the Dana-Faber Cancer Institute found these people were the least likely to have filled in a "do not resuscitate" order.

  These findings merit further discussion within religious communities, and consideration from those providing pastoral counsel to terminally ill patients with cancer Holly Prigerson Researcher

  As well as receiving resuscitation, they were much more likely to be placed on mechanical ventilation in the last few days of life.

  While previous US research has shown that the religious tend to support intensive end-of-life care, little work has been done to show whether they actually receive this.

  However, work has been done which suggests that intensive intervention in the last few weeks and days before death may reduce a patient's quality of life.

  Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that treatments such as ventilator support, resuscitation, having a feeding tube and non-palliative chemotherapy were associated with more psychological and physical distress.

  The patients' chances of dying in their preferred place were also reduced.

  The researchers in this latest study stressed that religion had been widely associated with an improved ability to cope with the stress of illness.

  But "because aggressive end-of-life cancer care has been associated with a poor quality of death and caregiver bereavement adjustment, intensive end-of-life care might represent a negative outcome for religious copers", defined as those who regularly used prayer or meditation for support.

  "These findings merit further discussion within religious communities, and consideration from those providing pastoral counsel to terminally ill patients with cancer," wrote lead researcher Holly Prigerson.
• 
  30

  Hello

  by CandleSurgeon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, some of you may know me by my screen name others probably don't.

  so a friendly hello and a quick bio for those who don't know me.. .

  i am 25, d/a'd when i was 22. i was a born-in, my family shuns me because of my d/a'ing.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  Welcome, CandleSurgeon!
  
  ~Sue
• 
  57

  Big Love - temple scene and Barb's excommunication

  by undercover in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  who saw big love last night?.

  ...and here i thought jws were fucked up.... the whole temple thing was just surreal.

  i've always liked barber's adagio, but that music made it even creepier.... jws got nuthin on their temples and ceremonies.... jws are cult lite compared to that shit.... but.... the disciplinary meeting that barb went to with the elders...how deja vu was that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  Here is the excommunication scene:
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1dTb1z04QQ
  
  
  YouTube removed the other one! I swear I watched it just this morning. In fact its thumbnail still comes up a Google video search. The link says:
  
  This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Home Box Office, Inc..

  Cult Ba$turds!

  ~Sue
• 
  57

  Big Love - temple scene and Barb's excommunication

  by undercover in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  who saw big love last night?.

  ...and here i thought jws were fucked up.... the whole temple thing was just surreal.

  i've always liked barber's adagio, but that music made it even creepier.... jws got nuthin on their temples and ceremonies.... jws are cult lite compared to that shit.... but.... the disciplinary meeting that barb went to with the elders...how deja vu was that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  Elsewhere, both scenes are up on YouTube already.
  
  One is called "Big Love Temple" and the other, "Big Love - Barb is excommunicated."
  
  ~Sue
• 
  24

  Hello from Jabberwock

  by jabberwock in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been lurking around here for a few months and i'm really excited about participating in some of the discussions.

  i have already enjoyed several late nights and early mornings catching up on some of the older posts.. .

  when i first came across a link to this board my hand trembled as i held an outstretched finger just above the mouse button not quite sure whether i was prepared to go past what seemed to me to be the point of no return.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  Jabberwock, as in uffish thought I say: Welcome!
  
  Whiffling through these tulgey woods, may the vorpal blades of the Watchtower keep you ever burbling for peace under our Tumtum tree.
  
  ~Sue
• 
  19

  Is it offensive to invite JW to birthday party?

  by AuntBee in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the jw is long time best friend of my daughter, and she's having her 18th soon, surprise party.

  i'm assuming it's best to just not invite him.

  i don't want to offend him by inviting him, but i just want to be sure it won't hurt his feelings if i don't invite him.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  AuntBee, I always appreciated being invited to "worldly" parties even if I couldn't or wouldn't participate due to my "Bible trained conscience."
  
  It was very kind to include me, while at the same time acknowledging my beliefs. I know it made people extremely uncomfortable, and I am to this day sorry for that.
  
  So I'd go ahead and invite the young Witness. He can attend in the spirit of friendship without singing "Happy Birthday" and eating the dreaded cake, or just politely decline and know he'll be missed.
  
  ~Sue
  
  P.S.: Assure him in advance: No beheadings! Maybe an Awake! sanctioned pinata, but no beheadings.
• 
  24

  For the inactive: Five reasons why JWs encourage you to go back

  by truthseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those of us who are inactive and receiving encouragment to go back to meetings, what do you think their reasons are?.

  here are five suggestions:.

  ) they genuinely think you will die at armaggedon.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  betterdaze

  7.) Misery loves company.
  
  ~Sue