Church to out ex-member's 'sexually immoral relationship'
She quit after members confronted her; she needs to be disciplined, pastor says.
By Dan Scanlan
Story updated at 5:05 AM on Saturday, Dec. 20, 2008
Grace Community Church in Mandarin plans to tell it on the mountain - or at least preach it from the pulpit - on Sunday, Jan. 4. And it's not something former church member Rebecca Hancock wants her children or anyone else to hear.
The Jacksonville church informed Hancock, 49, this month it will make her "sexually immoral relationship" with her boyfriend public at that service.
Hancock, who is divorced, said she left the church in October because members confronted her over it. On Wednesday, she also sent the church a letter officially resigning - hoping to stop the action so her children, who attend services there, would not have to face her embarrassment.
"I was like, 'Oh my God, on Jan., 4, their mother will be publicly humiliated.' This will really devastate my children," Hancock said.
The church's pastor, the Rev. T. Scott Christmas, said the discipline process outlined in his Dec. 8 letter will continue.
"We explain this process of loving accountability when they become members, and we are doing nothing more than following the practices of what biblical churches have done through history," Christmas said. "It is a mission of restoration and it is done in a spirit of love and grace."
Hancock, a Clay County social worker and lieutenant colonel in the Army Reserves, joined the conservative Christian church at 10938 Hood Road S. a year ago as her three-year-long divorce proceedings were nearing an end. Her 18-year-old daughter and 20-year-old son also joined.
Just before the divorce was finalized a few months ago, she began dating a man and confided to a woman at church who she went to for "guidance, assistance and counsel." But that woman told church officials, Hancock said.
One Sunday in October, her confidant hugged her and led her to a meeting with some of the church's female members.
"They all went after me," Hancock said. "One of the ladies said, 'I know you haven't come home at night because I was at your house and I saw you not come home.'
"It was so devastating. ... I thought the people who cared for me were in this room."
Her boyfriend sent an e-mail asking for her removal from church membership, and she moved to a Southside church, thinking it was all over - until her son brought home the church letter.
"Our love for you compels us to pursue that which is best for you," the letter starts. Stating she is "involved in a sexually immoral relationship with a man who is not your husband," it adds that such behavior can be repented and forgiven by God.
But because Hancock rebuffed efforts by church elders to resolve the issue, the letters states, "you leave us with no other choice but to carry out the commands of the Lord Jesus Christ" - namely "tell it to the church" - on Jan. 4.
Hancock's boyfriend, Frank Young, said church members have been "vicious" to a "really good woman."
[email protected]
(904) 359-4549
http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/2008-12-18/church_to_out_ex_members_sexually_immoral_relationship