Along those same lines, I always felt like I HAD to do the "kind, honest" etc thing to "bring honor to Jehovah's name" as I was a known JW and it was a reflection on the JW collective. And if *I* was so wonderful, kind, honest etc then it showed how wonderful everyone else was and therefore THE religion to be in.
*gack*
I now do nice things cuz I like to. I like making people smile, laugh, feel loved and content without any silly ulterior motives.
Posts by merfi
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7Honest, kind acts we performed when we were JWs--how does it feel now?
by Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit ini just read scully's thread about returning money from the atm.
it reminded me of how common it is for hohos to do a kindness, or to return found items, then explain that 'the reason i'm so honest is that i'm a jw and we're honest people, blah blah'.
this was always disturbing to me, as though we had to draw attention to the fantasy that we were different from others and it felt like we had lost our humanity--i now realize how true that is.
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merfi
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Elder's wife nosing in... need help with a letter
by merfi inhey all.
i read through my 10yo open msn window where she was chatting with the elder's wife... a few of the highlights are:.
do you think you might like to come to a meeting sometime?
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merfi
Thanks so much for your replies. I know it needs toned down, if I'll even to send it. I do realize that they THINK they're doing a wonderful thing by trying to get Syd to the meetings; they sincerely believe that they are saving her life. And I know to try to overlook the brainwashing and see the humans underneath with genuine, heart-felt motives (albeit cult-influenced)... it's just kinda hard sometimes, especially when it involves my babies. We had SUCH a great several months without the JW bugging us -- holidays, b'days and they've just handed me their 'dear Santa' lists. So this was a big momma bear moment for me where I saw red and that was it for any sort of common sense. Which is why I posted here -- I knew I'd get great ideas and suggestions. So... thank you. :)I'll sleep on it for a bit, mull some ideas and see how I feel in however long it takes to clear my head of this.
~merfi -
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Elder's wife nosing in... need help with a letter
by merfi inhey all.
i read through my 10yo open msn window where she was chatting with the elder's wife... a few of the highlights are:.
do you think you might like to come to a meeting sometime?
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merfi
Hey all. I read through my 10yo open msn window where she was chatting with the elder's wife... A few of the highlights are:
Do you think you might like to come to a meeting sometime? One of the Book Studies is at our house on Sat.
Everyone would be so excited to see you. You could go with us, if that would make it easier for you.
Just let us know if you would like to go with us, we would pick you up.
Do you and Madison ever talk about the meetings?
All of us think about you guys alot.
We miss you.
Didn't you think you would be missed?My knee-jerk reaction was to write a scathing email peppered with the word "cult" and some legal stuff. But I haven't sent it as I know it's probably best to sleep on it. I'm going to post it here -- please have a go at it and help me if you could. I knew this day would be coming (when one of the well-meaning "friends" would attempt to get my kids to the meetings) and I feel nipping it in the bud is the best thing, just from what I know about this congregation...
So, with that, please get your red pens and highlighters out and have at my email to the elder's wife. :) Thanks so much.
Here it is in it's first-draft, 85wpm pissed-off-ness.
I just read through your msn conversation with Sydney and I have to say that I'm quite furious, although not surprised in the least about what I read.
What you are implying to do in your offer of "we would pick you up" I consider an attempt at alienation of affection as Sydney is a minor. Do not undermine my parenting and legal position as her parent by your meddling as we are all quite content and happy here, having left a religion of conditional friendships, never-ending scrutiny and fake love. Planting seeds such as "did you think you wouldn't be missed?" is extremely underhanded. It's quite a horrible thing to mess with the head of a child, MY child; you will never do it again or there will be legal actions taken against you and/or any other Witness who attempts to go behind my back. I have herefore forbidden any of you to bring my children to any meetings or other association with this religion. What they do in Omaha is michael's business and I have no control over it, but when they are here with me, their custodial parent, they will follow my rules. And my rules include NOT setting foot in that Kingdom Hall without me.
We have enjoyed being normal, please stay out of the happiness and freedom we have found.
It is clear to us that "Jehovah" is the boogeyman invented by a 'governing body' of self-righteous and delusional men; the literature is merely the 'magic blanket' under which you all hide. I am done hiding -- I've escaped the blanket and the boogeyman and with it all the lies and "never being good enough". As well, despite what Dwight said, I do feel that I deserve to be alive and for the first time in many many years, I AM living. And showing my children that this is a wonderful life…
I expect my wishes to be honored; you know the consequences of disobeying them.
Rachel
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My little heathens
by merfi ini da'd in march after seeing the filth under the facade... the last meeting i was at with my kids was a co visit in may when i couldn't stomach the drivel and we walked out early... since then, the kids (9, 10 and 13) have spent the summer, now every other weekend with their dad who is a jw about 2.5 hours away.
in the meantime, we've celebrated all the birthdays (two july kids and me in august, brother, nephew and cousins...) where the kids have signed the cards and helped pick out presents.
they've been to about 2-3 b'day parties each for classmates since march.
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merfi
I DA'd in March after seeing the filth under the facade... The last meeting I was at with my kids was a CO visit in May when I couldn't stomach the drivel and we walked out early... Since then, the kids (9, 10 and 13) have spent the summer, now every other weekend with their dad who is a JW about 2.5 hours away. In the meantime, we've celebrated all the birthdays (two July kids and me in August, brother, nephew and cousins...) where the kids have signed the cards and helped pick out presents. They've been to about 2-3 b'day parties each for classmates since March. We celebrated July 4th with guilt-free fireworks.
And, the big one (as I've never really liked it) this year -- Halloween. I'm still amazed and maybe a tad confused at the offspring here. lol The kids all helped choose and put up creepy stuff in my front porch and would help put the plug-in pumpkin out at night or rescue the witch from her fall from my front door in the wind... My 10yo was on the H'ween committee at school ("I need to make two pans of brownies tonight mom!!" said at 8pm Oct 30 as I'm at the puter in jammies and a scrunchie, and there being no brownie mix in the house...) Then on H'ween night, I had three first-time trick or treaters. Even better, two of them were Harry Potter characters (eldest finished all 6 books in a month and youngest and I are sharing #1 in the series, and we've seen all movies now). H'ween night they were out in the 'hood beggin candy like they'd done it every year since birth. Definitely not like the little JW kids they were raised as. They've written down their Christmas list for me and the rest of the relatives and are talking about what color lights to have for decorations... I'm having SUCH a good time with this! And it is true -- the holidays are so much about the kids, the fun and the togetherness. It all couldn't be further removed from the evil, danger and wickedness the idiot JW teach about them. Buncha fun-haters.
So I'm just about giddy with how they've embraced the holidays -- and the reasons (I feel) behind them. I'm walking a bit of a thin line with their dad, which does concern me a tiny bit. They have to put on a different face when they're with him. So not sure what this is teaching them, but I figure their therapists can figure it out when they're adults.... For now, we have a very different household than we did less than a year ago. We're closer, more relaxed and definitely more funner. (I know that's incorrect, but it just fits. :) )Just thought I'd share my success-so-far story.
~merfi
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90
Who is DF/DA or Fader???
by mama1119 ini was just wondering, how many dfed to we have on here compared to da or faders??
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merfi
DA since Feb '06.
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129
Roll call time - What KH's have you attended.............
by Check_Your_Premises innaperville, dekalb, joliet......... il.
i tried to bump an old thread on this topic, but i couldn't find it.. anyone?
beuller?.
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merfi
"studied" in: Nevada, MO
"home" cong: Storm Lake, IA (Hotel California )
visited:
Cherokee, IA
Morningside, Sioux City, IA
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Who has Tattoos?
by Good Girl or Bad Girl? inhey y'all,.
how many of you have tattoos, and if so what are they?
what is the meaning, if any, behind them?
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Graduate students or ex-grad students on this board?
by silentWatcher inhey, .
are there any current or ex-graduate students (hopefully graduated :0) on the board?
professional degrees (law, medicine, etc) count too.
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merfi
book on the history of (phi) the Golden Ratio.
Kudra -- what's the book? I found this to be fascinating when reading DVC. I've told the kids that when they have a science project to do, that they should do it on Phi. :)
~merfi
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38
Graduate students or ex-grad students on this board?
by silentWatcher inhey, .
are there any current or ex-graduate students (hopefully graduated :0) on the board?
professional degrees (law, medicine, etc) count too.
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merfi
5% of jw have a BS? (that is just pathetically incredible to think about. What a waste...)
I have a BS in Medical Technology and currently work in a hospital lab. I absolutely love it. I was in college '87-'91. Was this a time period where education was NOT frowned upon? Or was I ignoring subtle 'counsel'? I really can't remember. At any rate, I would have ignored it anyway after laughing (independent thinking starts early) that it's stupid to waste a brain...
I've thought about going on to getting something more, as I do love learning in general. In lab tech, after a few years, we can have a "specialty" in a particular department (micro, chem, hematology etc) but my lab isn't large enough to have the variety of tests and procedures to qualify me to meet the criteria. But I am happy as I am. :)
Having this evil "higher education" has saved me financially when the ex took off and is now not very on time with his support. I'm almost at the point where I don't NEED his loot because of a decent enough salary. No silly Awake
Universitymagazine is going to feed my kids...~merfi
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What "Discipline" Did You Recieve While A Witness?
by minimus inwere you "disciplined" by the elders (or jehovah god) for anything while in the "truth"??
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merfi
A couple public reproofs and one DF. And endless nit-picks about my skirts, my jeep, my kids' commenting, my commenting, my weightloss during a separation, my association with a certain 'brother' (ok, I'll give them that one, they were right ),my working out, my wordly friends, my family, my job, my football obsession...
The last "discipline" was back to THEM, the elders who I now shun...
~merfi
happily DA'd.