Posts by nikan8ter

33

Your great deep secret

by greendawn in

jw
friends

tell us one of your great deep secrets that you are willing, and don't mind, to share with other people.

one of my secrets is that when i was 14 years old (and before becoming a jw) i had sex with a girl my age and also her sister who was one year older than me.

fortunately their mother didn't find out though i think she was suspecting that something fishy was going on.

nikan8ter

To the wives planning your escape . . . . . .

Wow! I am so sorry you have to endure such a hardship, I can't imagine being in such a bad situation that I couldn't leave. I am so impressed by your bravery and intellegence in getting things set up before you leave. Leaving anyone is the pits - so smart to watch your back! A lady in a similar situation told me another thing she used to do for extra cash (her husband always looked at all reciepts too) was to purchase things and then take them back - even at the grocery store. She would by stuff like certian expensive spices and tooth whitener and then take them back for the $$$$$. She also used to skim on tips - say oh I left 20% tip and then only leave 10%. It took her a while but she needed to be safe - her husband was very abusive. She opeaned a safe deposit box to keep the cash - much harder for him to come accross then a bank account. She also kept a journal of his abuse in the box - so when she fineally left she made her first stop at the bank and her second at the police station where she gave them a copy of her journal so she could get a restraining order. He didn't even know she was gone until he got home and there was no dinner. :) Bastard! I'd of shot him. :)

62

What Are Words Or Expressions Peculiar To JWs???

by minimus in

jw
friends

jws have their own terminology.

it's a characteristic of a cult.

here's a few: "new system", the friends" and the "body".......can you think of more?

nikan8ter

"Brotherly love", that makes me "Spiritually Sick", so I guess I'm "Bad Association"

28

Did the Witnesses you know, see "Fortune Cookies" as evil?

by free2beme in

jw
friends

i was in a few congregations growing up and like many things in the organization, rules were often regional.

one of those issues i remember and it was something i always got a kick out of, was people's reaction to fortune cookies at chinese food restaurants.

i had not run in to it as a child, and then i moved away as a young adult and was studying with witnesses to get baptized and they would try to make me feel more welcome, by inviting me to meals with other witnesses in the congregation.

nikan8ter

This is just an example of the backward reasoning that goes on. I especially enjoyed the comment about how you would read the fortune if no other jw's were around. I remember when I would go out with my family and we would all read the fortunes and laugh, but it was sort of scretive, like we were doing something wrong, but getting away with it!

Here's an urban myth for you Eagle-1:

After service with the CO a group of witnesses decides to out for Chinese in a suburban neighborhood. The brothers were excited about their day and were discussing some of the great scriptural counsel the CO had provided. One brother even pulled his bible out of his book bag to make notes in his scripture chain. Throughout the meal the bible stayed on the table open to his notes on divination. At the end of the meal the waiter brought the check along with 6 fortune cookies. Immediately, upon the waiter placing the fortune cookies on the table the bible closed itself and flew off the table. Obviously they never went back. Brothers are you blinded by Satens influence? Remember who the ruler of this world is, the next time you get a craving for fried rice. :)

OMG - just writing that made me a little sick - sorry if this hits people a little to close to home :)

40

Another JW Suicide

by orangefatcat in

jw
friends

yes last thursday a young brother who was in the same hall as me but in the other cong.

and he was 29, a newborn baby and a 2or 3 year old and young wife committed suicide.

was killed here in our town of newmarket by a train.

nikan8ter

My heart aches for the poor brother who felt like he had no choice other than suicide, and hope that his wife and child are able to find love and support, even if it is from the jdubs. Maybe as they heal, his despiration will resonate with them and they will see clearly the harmfull effects of the WTS teachings.

(((((((((((((AuldSoul)))))))))))) Thank you so much for sharing with all of us. I am very impressed with your ability to take control - It takes guts to ask for help, this world is a better place with you here, and so is this discussion board. We do need you here!

42

Loss of Elders

by metatron in

jw
friends

large numbers of jw congregations are going to be trouble long before they lose their last elder to death or resignation.. most congregations i know have at least one - and often several - elders who can barely function at all, due to illness, old age.

or just plain inability to accomplish anything.

the society seems loathe to remove these men, despite their 'elder in name only'.

nikan8ter

Thinking from a problem solvers prospective, there is a wealth of people in the KH that could be turned to to share some of the load. You know what would be interesting? If the GB suddenly decided that women were fit for MS duties. :) Imagine! It would totally solve the problem, and they could still keep to the submissiveness issue by not letting them become elders. Since MS take their direction from the elders it would be like spiritual wives serving spirtiual husbands. He he! They could rely on the army of women scriptures, the light keeps getting brighter stuff.

OMG! If this happens I will laugh so hard!!!

19

So why all the guilt over sex???

by Satans little helper in

i was reading a post on here recently from some young guy who was never a witness but wanted some advice about a romantic situation and what struck me was his real guilt trip about sex, porn and masturbation.. .

what is the reason for attaching so much guilt to sex?

is it because we attach emotion to the closness of our sexual relationships?

nikan8ter

Guilt is absolutely a form of control. And its piled on from birth if your a JWb. For those who are shocked and wonder how the elders get away with asking so many personal questions . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"you must ask pertient, discreet questions to isolate main issues and determine how or why a problem developed.

Probing questions should not go into needless details, especially in regard to sexual misconduct, unless this is absolutely necessary, such as in dtermining whether pornia had been comiited".

(From the notorious secret elder handbook: Pay attention to yourselves and the flock Page 112)

I guess an elder could hide behind this in order to elicit details to make sure there was not any pornia . . . . . . but hey those JC's are supposed to be confidential too and thats not what happens.

47

How old were you when you were baptized?

by moomanchu in

.

reading hellriders topic made me wonder about this.. i waited till i was 21 because i was drinking alcohol as a youth and didn't want to get baptized while breaking the law.

man that is screwed up, seemed reasonable at the time.

nikan8ter

16 scared to death - didn't want to do it, but wanted to make my mother proud. I clearly remember sitting down in front looking at the speaker and thinking - "what a load of Sh*T - OMG i hope I didn't say that out loud!"

20

Give your experience of hypocrytical elders, here`s mine!

by dido in

jw
friends

i will feel better once i get this off my chest, i don`t know whether it`s ok to mention the cong, but anyway, it`s hayes cong in middlesex.

what happened, i stopped going to the meetings, and was trying to `fade`, but who should appear on my doorstep, 2 `busy` elder`s (who had nothing better to do, obviously!

) anyway, they said `oh sister, we miss you bla bla bla`, got the bible out, tried to make me feel guilty by reading some scripture`s out loud, brought tears to my eyes, etc.

nikan8ter

Thanks for sharing this story . . . . . isn't it strange the double standard? I've never shared this one - with anyone - but here goes. I was a born-in and someone who always wanted to do the right thing. I belived all the BS about telling on yourself - and you will recieve forgiveness and mercy and blah blah . . . . So being a young female (17) with desires of course I meet an attractive man and begin to experiment. The wierd thing was even though I knew what I was doing was against jw principles - it didn't feel wrong - (of course now at 28 I know for sure its not!) But being the one that all the other parents pointed to as an example for their children, I asked a particularly kind brother to meet with me in a JC (which are supposed to be confidential) so I could dutifully report on all of my sins.

So picture it - congregation library - young girl in a room facing three old codgers - having to tell them the particular sex acts she participated in - how many times - for how long - Ewwww! just writing about it gives me the creeps! So they ask me why I am telling (basically accusing me of getting caught by someone and trying to beat them to the punch) I assure them that no - no one knows - especially not my parents. I came to them first . . . . . . . no, I am not pregnant . . . . . how do I know? (how do you think you perverts!) . . . . They send me out of the room and in the end decide on private reproof contigent upon my silence, no one, and they repeat NO ONE is to know, if I so much as mention it I could be subject to DF. Okay - I am worn out and feeling like crap, I head home - actually a little apartment in the back of my aunts house I was renting since I had just graduated high school and moved out of my house. I head straight to the shower, and literally minutes later I hear a knock on my bathroom door. It was my mom and she said "I let myself in - I'll be out here waiting for you." So I am a bit worried but quickly remember that JC's are confidential and the elders had really emphasized it with me. RIGHT? Well, I dried off and what-do-you-know, mom sitting on my bed in tears because Brother R. had called to tell her about my sexual exploits! It just about broke her heart. (later I learned more people knew as well)

I felt bad for my mom - but I was so pissed - I even brought it up to him and told him he had broken his vow to JH . . . . . . he gave me this look like "how dare you accuse me, I am an elder and beyond reproach!" Right then and there every doubt I had ever had aligned and I realized this was the biggest buch of bull crap in the world. So hypocritical. So I went to college got a great career and have never looked back at those nasty elders. :)

28

Do you REALLY want to know?

by serendipity in

is it important for you to know how many sexual partners your love interest had before you would consider him/her for a long term relationship, leading to marriage?

why would that info be important to you?.

that's a question i don't think i'd ask, or answer.

nikan8ter

I just wanted to breifly comment on your post YoursChelbie -

While I understand your concern that a potential partner may not be true to you, the number of partners he has had - or the relationship he has had with them is not determinative of his level of caring for you.

Each person you meet is a different story. The point is you can't judge a persons ability to be honerable or caring by the number of partners they have had. Its more important how they treat you! If they treat you bad, leave, but don't sacrifice what could be a wonderful relationship because you are trapped by a belief that the number of partners they have had in the past somehow reveals that they are not going to be a good and kind person to you. Its simply not true. Their actions now are what counts.

28

Do you REALLY want to know?

by serendipity in

is it important for you to know how many sexual partners your love interest had before you would consider him/her for a long term relationship, leading to marriage?

why would that info be important to you?.

that's a question i don't think i'd ask, or answer.

nikan8ter

No . . . . really I don't. Either way. Weather they have had 1 or a 100. Let me tell you . . . you don't want to know either. And contrary to popular belief number of partners has nothing to do with wheather your partner has a disease or not.

Just ponder this - you ask the question . . . are you prepared for the answer . . . . . . probably not!!

No matter what it is, what if they say 1000 and you freak? Or even worse what if they say 1 and your more like 1000? Are either of you different because of the amount of people or lack there of you have slept with? NO! but because you've asked the question no matter what is said - it will not be what you expected - and it may make you both uncomfortable to discuss it. TRUST ME - LEAVE IT ALONE . . . . . as long as your both healthy and happy it doesn't matter. Don't mess it up with questions about the past.