Of course he won't.
However, I have struggled to find a way to apply this situation to the Watchtower and I can't. They aren't doing anything like marrying 13 year old girls off to 50 year old men against their will.
Their biggest abrogations of justice are molestation (certainly not something unique to Witnesses) and blood transfusion denial (which has a long history of being upheld by the justice system.)
under_believer
JoinedPosts by under_believer
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7
Can Warren Jeffs Safely Hide Behind Religious Freedom? Watchtower?
by skeeter1 ini heard on the news that warren jeffs defense is "religious freedom" which precludes the government from persecuting him.
he, apparently, strongly believes he is gaining god's glory by having multiple wives & marrying young girls.
he thinks these actions are ordained by god.
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under_believer
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Yahweh and Baal: The True Story
by under_believer inhopefully good for a laugh, i cooked this up after reading another thread about yhwh being the same person as baal: .
"they seem to think that you're the almighty.
they do not, baal.
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under_believer
Hopefully good for a laugh, I cooked this up after reading another thread about YHWH being the same person as Baal:
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"They seem to think that you're the Almighty."
"What? They do not, Baal."
"Yahweh, I've been down there. They are convinced that you created the universe singlehandedly."
"Look, okay. I know, but I didn't tell them that. They just... assumed."
"They ASSUMED? You know the protocols. It's a natural assumption for them to make, given the situation. There are specific instructions, right here, on how to prevent Level 5 cognitive singularity waveforms from assuming that their caretaker is the Almighty. Right there in section three. See?"
"I forgot. Look, I had a enlightenment scenario going on, and we were only a few millennia in. I was busy dealing with it, and a couple of things fell through the cracks. I'm going to get around to it, just as soon as I get the chance."
"An enlightenment scenario? That early? I'm afraid to ask."
"Well, you know how the rules are. We're supposed to build in a free-will failsafe. I didn't write the rules, I just have to go by them."
"Heh, some job you're doing so far. Go ahead, what happened?"
"Well, I mean, it was getting towards the end of the design phase and I hadn't figured out where to put the failsafe yet. It has to be something they can reasonably stumble on, so it's not like I can put it in the next star system, or something."
"Right..."
"So I'm up against a deadline, right? And the only thing I can think of is to put it into their food."
"You put the failsafe... into... their FOOD?"
"See, these guys are omnivores, but I started them exclusively eating this plant product I called 'fruit.' There were ALL KINDS of fruit in there, Baal, I mean it was this serious cornucopia of different fruits, all different flavors and textures, I really outdid myself. And I guess I spent so much time making fruit that it was kind of on my mind when I finally had to make a snap decision about the failsafe, and I kind of just... put it into one of the fruits."
"So this fruit, it was on a different planet, though, right? You didn't... Oh no. Yahweh... Don't tell me that it was on the same planet?"
"Listen, I was in a huge hurry!"
"Oh man, Father's gonna flip out if he hears about this. You've been doing this for how long, now? It's not like you haven't been burned by this before."
"Well, anyways, long story short, they got into the fruit and ate it."
"Wait a second. I thought you said a few millenia in. This incident report I just pulled up makes it sound like it was just a few years. Are your exception loggers wonky again?"
"Umm... no, that report is correct."
"How close, exactly, was this fruit to your creational epicenter?"
"I just figured with so many different kinds of fruit, it was like... it would be hidden in plain sight. You know?"
"Let me get this straight. You put the fruit right into the same place where you put your prototypes? And this enlightenment event, it was one of the PROTOTYPES exercising the failsafe?"
"Baal, listen. It isn't like it sounds. I really was going for artistic merit on this one, and it's possible that I might have made the prototypes a bit more... inquisitive than I had originally intended."
"Looking at these stats, your prototypes would probably have found this 'fruit' of yours had they been a quarter as smart as you made them."
"Did you miss the part where I said I was in a huge hurry?"
"So you made two prototypes, and you made them frightfully intelligent, and you put them into a food production center, and you built the failsafe into an EDIBLE, and then you put the failsafe a couple of miles from where they woke up?"
"It sounds so bad when you put it like that..."
"Yahweh, this is new ground. We've never had prototypes exercise the failsafe before. Can you possibly explain to me why these things are still alive? Why, when you got the exception report, you didn't instantly smite them into nonexistence and build them up from formula again?"
"You know how it is. El gets a copy of the report every time that happens, and, well, he was already a bit annoyed with me for the last time this happened. I didn't want to disappoint him again. He gets so upset when I have to take a prototype back to formula."
"So now you have an entire planetful of beings, all of them completely divorced from your will, just running around deciding what to do for themselves, willy-nilly?"
"I'm going to get it back under control! I have some plans. I introduced this religion early on..."
"Religion! This just gets better and better. And that's why they're worshiping you, and think you're the almighty. You know they're only worshiping you for what they can get out of it. These guys have free will; you know how free will works, they don't need to worship anybody at this point."
"I have this theory that free will can be subverted using blind dogmatism. I've always wanted to try this out."
"Dogmatism, is it? Yahweh, Yahweh, Yahweh. It all becomes clear. Look, I'm not gonna be able to let this one go. Do you know why I'm here?"
"I have my suspicions."
"Well, they're probably right. You've never been stupid, just pigheaded. This place you've got going here stinks. It smells, Yahweh. It smells so bad that El smelled it, way up on his throne, and let me tell you, he's pissed. I've never seen him so angry before. He told me in no uncertain terms that I was to come down here, check it out, and if it was what he thought it was, I was to pull the plug on it and send you back to him to answer some questions."
"Baal, listen. I only need, like, a few thousand more years. Seriously, the blink of an eye."
"No can do, brother. Dad's mad, and I'm not gonna cross him."
"I thought you might say that. That's why I got this together, just in case."
"Wha... what do you have there? Stop it! You can't do that, it's against the rules!"
"I whipped this up after I knew things were going south, in case El sent someone. With this baby, you're trapped here, and you can't call Dad to come save you, either."
"You're going to pay for this. I'm going to shut this little thing down myself."
"Yeah? Try, Baal. Just try."
"Clever. You know that El's going to find out about this, one way or another, don't you?"
"Probably, but I'm hoping that this thing works out so well that he'll forget all about my little disobedience and pat me on the head for thinking outside the box. In the meantime, you're going to help me out. I have a role all picked out for you, as an opposing spirit against my righteousness. A slanderer, you might say. Now if you don't mind, I've got this group of critters over here in this desert I'd like you to take charge of. They call themselves Canaanites."
"Forget it, Yahweh! I'm not helping you get worship from these guys! That's sick."
"You are helping me. You don't have any choice."
"Damn it, Yahweh! This is gonna get us both in trouble. I hope you know what you're doing."
"Don't worry, Baal, I've got it all planned out." -
62
YAHWEH is BAAL
by sinis in.
very interesting article.. http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?read=42815
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under_believer
mkr, maybe the only thing you need to believe is that whoever wrote that had a different view of the cosmos than you do? I've checked quite a few translations and done a fair piece of research on this and the scripture as presented by sinis is pretty accurate. Various translations use different phrases for "sons of El": "angels", "sons of the mighty", "heavenly beings", and so on, but it's fairly clear that the idea was to favorably compare Yahweh to possible competitors.
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YAHWEH is BAAL
by sinis in.
very interesting article.. http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?read=42815
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under_believer
sinis, which translation is that from?
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81
What part of the bible makes no sense to you?
by JH in.
please make this less than 100 lines....
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under_believer
But my personal belief is that she was burned alive. They could have been mourning the fact that she was going to die a virgin.
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81
What part of the bible makes no sense to you?
by JH in.
please make this less than 100 lines....
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under_believer
RE: Jephthah's daughter:
The footnote in the Amplified Bible says:
Scholars fail to agree as to what Jephthah really did. For example, "This plain and restrained statement that 'he did with her according to his vow' is best taken as implying her actual sacrifice. Although human sacrifice was strictly forbidden to Israelites, we need not be surprised at a man of Jephthah's half-Canaanite antecedents following Canaanite usage in this matter" (F. Davidson, ed., The New Bible Commentary). And, "Although the lapse of two months might be supposed to have afforded time for reflection and a better sense of his duty, there is but too much reason to conclude that he was impelled to the fulfillment by the dictates of a pious but unenlightened conscience" (Robert Jamieson, A.R. Fausset and David Brown, A Commentary). And, "The religious system of Israel had fallen into suspension. From the days of Phinehas (Judg. 20:28) to the time of Samuel, we hear nothing of the high priest, the ark or the tabernacle" (The Cambridge Bible). On the other hand, J.P. Lange (A Commentary) articulates the position of many scholars when he calls attention to stories in Greek mythology in which the virginity of a goddess was celebrated by Greek maidens with song and dance. Summing up, Lange says, "At all events, it does not 'stand there in the text,' as Luther wrote, that she was offered in sacrifice." And the fact that the maidens mourned her virginity and not her death seems to prove that she did not die. -
81
What part of the bible makes no sense to you?
by JH in.
please make this less than 100 lines....
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under_believer
There's also the thing in the Law about how if a kid was rebellious (what teenager isn't rebellious?) they would be stoned. An elder in my best friend's hall told him during some trouble that he was having with his mom that if they were back in ancient Israel, he would have already been stoned to death by now with Jehovah's blessing.
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What is the reasoning that the seventh day of rest is 7000 years?
by jwfacts ini used to feel that the prophecy of the seven times ending in 1914 and that the 6,000 years were up in the 20th century was good proof that these are the last days.
but i just started wondering why the wts says the day of rest would be 7000 years and can not find proof for this assertion.
does anyone know why the wts says god would rest for a period of 7000 years?.
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under_believer
The Witnesses' interpretation of the first creation account in Genesis is more nonsensical than any other I've ever heard.
They say that the account is literally true, EXCEPT for the time periods involved. Not days, but some unspecified thousands of years. This causes some very unique problems, though...
My six year old daughter realized it was crazy all by herself: on reading the account with the understanding that the days were thousands of years, she wanted to know:
* How could plants have survived for thousands of years without any animals to pollinate them and spread their seeds, and without any sun?
* How could birds have survived for thousands of years without any land animals to hunt and eat?
I think she's gonna be okay, but it does illustrate the issue. If the creative days are literal days, you could imagine the plants just hanging out for 24 hours before the sun came up, but if it was thousands of years, how could that work? -
83
THE BORG WANTS YOUR NUMBER
by Mary inmy elderly dub aunt (who's the biggest whiner the world has ever seen) came over tonight to first of all, whine about how her neighbour shuts her kitchen cupboard doors in the most annoying way possible and her dog barks and what was she supposed to do about it?
anyway, as soon as these monumental problems were solved, she informed me that at the bookstudy the other night, the conductor told everyone to "stay after the prayer" as he had 'something important to announce.
" naturally everyone did this, all the while wondering if the red phone at patterson was in direct contact with jehovah himself as the study was being conducted.
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under_believer
I don't believe it. I am in the camp of people that believes that if it was that big a deal, and the elders had already been informed, we'd have known about it on this board within hours of the elders being informed. Even without that, those of us who still attend would have noticed our relatives and friends who are elders acting funny and making allusions.
If they WERE making an announcement (which they're not), last spring I would have told you that a blood policy change would be most likely, but since then they've strongly reiterated the blood policy over the summer with much propaganda and inaccurate information.
Here's a fun one: What if they announced that Witnesses could no longer send their kids to public or private school, but must home school? This one could make sense because the Society must know that they are losing the current generation of young people hand over fist... -
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Welcome Jehovah
by coolhandluke injehovah, .
oh how many times i've prayed to you and felt your scornful laugh from yonder skies, how you mock me and laugh at me.
my creation is for your amusement obviously, kinda like the celestial version of the sunday comics, only i appear in technicolor everyday for you.
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under_believer
This post is classic, grade-a, first level gold. Thanks for posting this.