Hello and welcome,
I am saddened to hear about your situation. I'll tell you that there are many here who were once in a similar situation and they have many words to help you better understand the organization that you are a part of. As for me, I remember when I was reproved and many in the congregation approached me after the meeting and offered words of support and encouragement. I have to say that not all people are bad, just most are being misled and have been blinded to the truth.
..truth.ceeker..