detective

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Posts by detective

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  29

  Opinions/Advice needed

  by joannadandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok here is my deal.... for those of you who don't know already i have never been df'd or da'd.

  i just quit going, and was never baptized.

  (that will become relevant later).

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  detective

  Gift...no!

  Card...sure, whatever.

  Basically, since your "friend" didn't invite you, you'd be inviting yourself to this function. If you feel fine with that...

  Personally, I don't think you should go. I DEFINITELY don't think you should send a present. A card is okay, in my opinion.

  You deserve to have people in your life who are proud and happy to share not only their lives with you, but to happily enjoy YOU sharing your life with them. Sure, she can sit there and accept your present... but where is she in extending kind words or gifts in celebrating your life and accomplishments?

  The only good I can see in going is that your mother might be horrified at how badly they treat you...which could cause a slight crack in the mindset. And a small crack (or several) might eventually lead to questioning...

  p.s. don't call her until you find out if the shower is a surprise or not!!

  p.p.s.
  Though the shower is for "the baby", the child won't know if you are there or not. Officially, it's for the kid. Realistically, it's for the parent. So, I wouldn't allow yourself to get too caught up in the "do it for the baby" concern. There may be a time when the child will need you, but at that time, the child would probably be old enough to know who you are.

  Edited by - detective on 18 December 2002 11:16:53
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  33

  Note to SilentLambs

  by Amazing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi bill: .

  with great interest i read your letter posted by lin.

  i agree wholeheartedly with you that you should and need to own your site and all material.

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  detective

  Mike, isn't this whole mess a result of "firing a gun and not knowing what your target is anyway"? In which case, if we're extending the courtesy of overlooking it in one circumstance maybe we can give the same courtesy to another as well? If a grievance or concern hadn't been made public in the first place, nobody would have been able to comment on it, right? But it happened, now it's over...and the lingering discussion will most likely peter out eventually.

  Edited by - detective on 18 December 2002 10:23:24
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  33

  Subtle Control Methods

  by James2300 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  there have been a few threads on the subject of whether witnesses are a high control group or a cult.

  some of the more overt methods of control have been mentioned, such as direct statements in the watchtower, the practice of disfellowshipping, the power elders have, and so on.

  the results of these control techniques have also been mentioned; for example, many mention the intimidation, humiliation, fear, and powerlessness they felt either as a witness or while trying to leave.

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  detective

  loaded language. loaded language. loaded language.

  Um, did I mention loaded language?
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  Insanity recalled

  by Gig in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was just sitting here trying to decide whether to be optimistic or pessimistic today, think i'll go with the latter.

  i remember a study i had with a couple of elders, at one point, as if surprised at my recollection and question, i asked if they could better explain to me the un membership because all i could make of it was a tremendous contradiction.

  this was awhile back so they said they would look into it and hopefully could offer something helpful at our next meeting.

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  detective

  Another way to create a little cognitive dissonance is to ask questions like "who wrote this article?" Or, "I wonder what the person who wrote this article looks like?" I accidently stumbled onto that dissonance-creating approach when I humanized things a bit by innocently asking, "Do you think they were up until the wee hours of the morning hunched over a desk just writing away...?" The funny thing is that that sort of got to the JW I was speaking with at the time and I hadn't even imagined that it would.
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  28

  I was once an angel on a tree.......please read...

  by Jesika in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this was inspired by the story freedom96 posted earlier.

  i was in foster care and was placed there right before halloween.

  i celebrated my first halloween, and thanksgiving.

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  detective

  I just passed an angel tree earlier this week. It had children's names but it also had the names of the elderly and mentally challenged. Sixty eight year old Mary wanted a portable radio. A portable radio! Reading those wish lists...

  It's amazing.
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  12

  were you forced to give up your fleshly family

  by nightwarrior in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

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  please take note.. when i first started studying with jehovahs witnesses ,over a period they lead you to beleive that your family are serving satan ,therfore hidden pressure is put upon you to ditch your family ,if your weak you will do as you are told but as allways they make you think your doing it for god,its so they can start to control you slowly ,your familys gone your old friends are gone you have nothing else be warned then comes the reliance upon every single word the elders say to you hypnotismn comes allso through the literature ,.

  i kept my family at a distance i never allowed man to dictate ,pluss i had no opposition from my family in times of need i was there to support my greater family and now i still have them if needed why make yourself miserable.. thank god i never bowed to the presure of relinquishing my family ties

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  detective

  *** w93 8/1 18-19 Let No One Spoil Your Useful Habits ***
  13 Christians want to be friendly with workmates, and many experiences bear out how effective this can be in opening the way for giving a witness. A fellow worker could misinterpret friendliness, however, as inviting association in order to have a good time together. He or she might extend a casual invitation to lunch, to a brief stop after work for a drink, or to some recreation on the weekend. This person mightappear kind and clean-cut, and the invitation might seem innocent. Yet, Paul advises us: Do not be misled.
  14 Some Christians have been. They gradually developed a relaxed attitude toward association with workmates. Maybe it grew out of a common interest in a sport or a hobby. Or a non-Christian on the job might be exceptionally kind and thoughtful, which led to spending increasing amounts of time with thatone, even preferring such company to that of some in the congregation. Then the association might lead to missing just one meeting. It could mean being out late one evening and breaking the pattern of sharing in the field ministry in the morning. It could result in watching a film or a video of a type that the Christian normally would refuse. Oh, that would never happen to me, we might think. But most of those who have been misled may first have responded that way. We need to ask ourselves, Just how determined am I to
  apply Pauls counsel?
  15 What we just considered as to the workplace applies also to our association with neighbors. Certainly, the Christians in ancient Corinth had neighbors. In some communities it is normal to be quite friendly and supportive of neighbors. In rural areas neighbors may rely on one another because of isolation. Family ties are particularly strong in some cultures, giving rise to many invitations to meals. Obviously, a balanced view is important, as Jesus manifested. (Luke 8:20, 21; John 2:12) In our dealings with neighbors and relatives, are we inclined to carry on as we did before we became Christians? Rather, should we not now review such dealings and consciously determine what limits are appropriate? 16 Jesus once likened the word of the Kingdom to seeds that fell alongside the road, and the birds came and ate them up. (Matthew 13:3, 4, 19) Back then, soil along a road became hard as many feet walked back and forth on it. It is that way with many people. Their lives are filled with neighbors, relatives, and others coming and going, keeping them busy. This, as it were, tramples the soil of their hearts, making it hard for seeds of truth to take root. A similar unresponsiveness could develop in one who is already a Christian.
  17 Some worldly neighbors and relatives may be friendly and helpful, though they have consistently shown neither interest in spiritual things nor love for righteousness. (Mark 10:21, 22; 2 Corinthians 6:14) Our becoming Christians should not mean that we become unfriendly, unneighborly. Jesus counseled us to manifest genuine interest in others. (Luke 10:29-37) But equally inspired and necessary is Pauls counselto be careful about our associations. As we apply the former counsel, we must not forget the latter. If we do not keep both principles in mind, our habits can be affected. How do your habits compare with those of your neighbors or relatives as respects honesty or obeying Caesars law? For instance, they may feel that at tax time, underreporting income or business profits is justified, even necessary for survival. They might speak persuasively about their views over a casual cup of coffee or during a brief visit. How could that affect your thinking and honest habits? (Mark 12:17; Romans 12:2) Do not bemisled. Bad associations spoil useful habits.
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  28

  Converted in Prison JW Molester To Be Released

  by blondie in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  http://www.appeal-democrat.com/121202/121202hpk12wolfenbarger.shtml

  thursday, december 12, 2002 .

  convicted rapist seeks parole.

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  detective

  p.s. good letter, kismet.
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  28

  Converted in Prison JW Molester To Be Released

  by blondie in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  http://www.appeal-democrat.com/121202/121202hpk12wolfenbarger.shtml

  thursday, december 12, 2002 .

  convicted rapist seeks parole.

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  detective

  Disturbing. Extremely disturbing.

  I wonder how someone like Yadirf, YouKnow or some other active witness would feel about calling this man a "brother"?

  How does that work? How do they stomach it?

  It can't be easy to actually say those words about a guy like this.
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  40

  Multi-level selling traps and JWs

  by Debz in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  why is it that jw`s get `hooked` into the latest multi-level marketing ploys

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  detective

  Okay, I can't resist...

  But anyone who bashes MLM just because they failed, or they know someone who failed, or because they don't have the knowledge to make a fair judgment..............is absolutely ridiculous.

  Hmmmm...

  Now for a quick quiz:

  If an MLM scheme fails to make you money, whose fault is it?

  a) yours

  b) still yours

  c) it's possible a MLM could provide a faulty product on a shaky premise, but let's be honest, it's still your fault

  When is it okay to "bash" a MLM?

  a) never. not even when you fail to earn money at it.

  b) never. not even when someone you know fails to make money at it.

  c) never. you did not acquire the skills, nor have the knowledge to justify "bashing" an MLM.
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  40

  Multi-level selling traps and JWs

  by Debz in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  why is it that jw`s get `hooked` into the latest multi-level marketing ploys

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  detective

  I'm not a JW so it'd be real difficult to "judge" like them. But I couldn't help notice this statement...

  I also have a great deal of respect for those who try MLM only to fail, but realize that it wasn't for them, or know that they didn't aquire the skills to succeed.

  Anybody notice anything funny about this statement?