DesertRat

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Posts by DesertRat

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  89

  Describe In 1 Word How You Now Feel About Your Life Right Now

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  DesertRat

  Positive (most of the time).

  Hope you feel better soon, Minimus
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  38

  I've gone a week without smoking!

  by fullofdoubtnow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well done linda, i started taking zyban 3 days ago.

  you take it for 2 weeks before giving up, although already i noticed i am smoking less and keep putting cigarette down and forgetting i was smoking.

  it's very bizarre.

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  DesertRat

  Congratulations on your two-week anniversary!!!

  Don't forget to reward yourself in some way, & think of all the things you will be able to do or buy with the money not spent on cigarettes. My friends & therapist have suggested that I regard my money for drinks as better spent on books or DVD's, for instance, or set aside towards my own computer..

  Keep up the good work!!!

  DR
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  22

  I think I'm going crazy

  by weary in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is the first time i've been here.

  i feel very guilty.

  my whole life i've felt guilty.

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  DesertRat

  Welcome, & please rest assured that you are NOT crazy. Nor are you the only person to have felt this way..

  It can be very difficult, unsettling even, to accept that we have invested so much time & energy in what is essentially 'living a lie' (to put it rather bluntly..). So much more than our belief system alone is at stake--also our social framework, our outlook on the future, our very ability to understand & interact with the larger society around us. As a thirtysomething I still feel that I am far behind the social development & awareness of my peers, say, twenty years ago..

  So please don't get discouraged, & feel free to visit or post here as often as you are comfortable with. Here you are among friends & are never alone..

  Sincerely,

  DesertRat
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  9

  Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child?

  by Sailor Ripley in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not sure if this has been posted before, but i'm wondering, since i have a two-yr-old and she has friends that are bad (scream, fits, say "no" a lot, hit, kick, whatever) and no one seems to care.

  we get a note yesterday from her mommy-day-out about "discipline vs.

  punishment.

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  DesertRat

  My father believed in old-fashioned discipline, but only meted it out when he felt it was truly needed (unlike my mother, who seemed to delight in slapping me for the slightest offenses..). How often I still recall, "This is going to hurt me, Son, more than it hurts you.." or my attempts to get out of punishment with, "I love you, Dad," only to hear, "I love you too, Son, which is why I need to do this.."

  At the time I may have thought my parents mean or unfair, & I frequently envied my JW friends whose parents were more liberal or permissive, but in retrospect I realize that mine were only doing what they knew how to under the circumstances. As much as I myself would love to become a father one day, I have begun to accept that I may never resolve my own life issues enough to rightly do so. I applaud anyone & everyone with the courage & determination to raise a family nowadays..

  DR
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  20

  Newbe saying hello

  by Shanna Korin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everybody sorry i just got so excited to be able to vent that i just jumped right on in replying and blabbing that i forgot to say hey!

  thanks for this site and all of you.

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  DesertRat

  Welcome aboard, Shanna. I read your previous post & could identify with so much of what you said..

  I thought at the outset of my exit from the Organization that the process would be as simple as reading the right books (Crisis of Conscience, etc.), meeting the right people, starting to do some of the things previously forbidden, & going on my merry way as a new person. How naive I truly was! Feeling that I would rather be dead than return to the Org, I came perilously close to suicide in the weeks prior to discovering this forum. The way is still difficult, but thanks to professional help, this site, & some very understanding new friends (non-JW), each day is just a little bit easier than the one before..

  Please stick around & continue to benefit from the wisdom & support found here. This forum has become indispensable to many people (not just me), & I know you will find that to be the case too..

  I wish you the very best on your path..

  Peace,

  DesertRat
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  38

  I've gone a week without smoking!

  by fullofdoubtnow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well done linda, i started taking zyban 3 days ago.

  you take it for 2 weeks before giving up, although already i noticed i am smoking less and keep putting cigarette down and forgetting i was smoking.

  it's very bizarre.

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  DesertRat

  Very proud of you. My best cousin (non-JW) has struggled to quit for two or three years (partly because she knows how much I love her & am concerned about her long-term health) with only sporadic success, so I appreciate how difficult it can be. I myself have never smoked as a habit, although I do enjoy a good mentholated cigarette now & then (American Spirits in particular..)

  The same advice given previously (taking one day at a time, not allowing setbacks to discourage us, etc.) has also helped me as I struggle to address my drinking habit (...). Three days sober at the moment, & hopefully counting..

  I wish you continued best of luck in your efforts to remain smoke-free!

  DR
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  49

  What are you now ?

  by moomanchu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  curious as to what exwitnesses have become or believe.

  i haven't joined any religous group and do not attend any services.

  (have visited a church's service)

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  DesertRat

  I don't think there is one category or title which neatly sums up my new spiritual direction, so I have come up with my own--Explorer

  DR
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  10

  Which part of history...

  by greendawn in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  do you particularly like, is it tudor history, ancient egyptian, greco-roman, medieval or something else?

  i like the history of the second world war and i am trying to understand why a cultured and educated nation like the germans got swept away by the appeal of the beastly nazis.

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  DesertRat

  If there was ONE good thing to come about as a result of my upbringing, it would be that my parents--through their missionary service in Central America & subsequently raising me in the Southwest--perhaps unknowingly introduced me to the cultures & history I find most fascinating--all of it as close as the nearest reservation or archaeological ruin. Depending upon who you ask, 'Mesoamerican culture' can take in anyone or everyone from the earliest Olmecs to the present-day Pueblo Indians & tribes of the Four Corners region (where the states of Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, & Utah all border one another..)

  At various times I have also been intrigued by the ancient Egyptians, the Aborigines of Australia (said to be the oldest intact culture in the world--30,000+ years???), & too much more to list. Eventually I would like to delve further into the earliest history of my own ancestry--Scandinavia, the British Isles, Central Europe, & the Baltic region..

  Isn't the freedom to learn & explore wonderful???

  DR
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  40

  Buddhism, Taoism, Meditation, and any other Non-Christian Journeys...

  by exjdub in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there have been a lot of christian threads lately, so i thought that i would open a topic for other journeys.

  because there is no way i will ever be a christian again because the curtain has been opened and i can see behind it, however i have an open mind and have started some meditation practices.

  i have been thinking about visiting a buddhist temple out of curiosity.

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  DesertRat

  Whatever or wherever my own 'Truth' may be, I have sensed it at times especially when alone on a high mountain or meditating in the desert, miles from the nearest road..

  Although my main spiritual interest is very definitely along the lines of Earth-based or indigenous wisdom (especially Mayan/Toltec spirituality), I try at all times to remember a principle I once gleaned from a book on Buddhism: 'Open to everything, but attached to nothing..'

  It is the exposure to new ideas & ways of believing, both on this forum & elsewhere, that has made my own journey out of the Org so beautiful & rewarding in spite of the challenges..

  DR
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  25

  celebrating christmas

  by awol in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i left the dubs about 10 yrs ago.... but didn't celebrate xmas until about 7yrs ago.

  even then i didn't get a tree... just kept it simple.. do it all now!

  love it.. even if it's not christs birthday..... who cares?????

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  DesertRat

  I particularly enjoy my company's annual Christmas parties (usually held at a different restaurant or resort each year), as well as the pleasure of choosing unusual & well-thought-out gifts for my friends (few in number, perhaps, but increasingly more special all the time..)

  One of the misconceptions I had as a JW was that every so-called 'worldly' person was fanatical about Christmas--decorating their homes to the eaves, sending cards to everybody they knew even superficially, straining the budget when it came time to buy gifts, etc. Now I realize that is not necessarily the case. Quite a few people I have met make minimal preparations for Christmas (i.e., sending cards only to relatives or those they have received cards from), & some have expressed disillusionment over what they feel is the increased commercialism of the holiday..

  So yes, I personally enjoy Christmas (as I do virtually all of the holidays now), but it is also very nice to know that I don't need to overextend myself or break the budget in order to do so..

  DR