DesertRat

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Posts by DesertRat

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  26

  Who else has trouble making friends?

  by new light in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  haven't posted here in a while, but i"ve been out now almost three years.

  just looking to hear from others who have had trouble making friends due to a childhood of jw antisocialism toward the real world.

  it's really starting to piss me off that i still keep people at a distance and do things to nip any new friendships at the bud when it gets that far.

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  DesertRat

  ME!!! ME!!! ME!!!

  Growing up in the Org, with its 'Us Vs Them' mentality, definitely affected my ability to socialize or make meaningful friendships with the world at large. But even among my so-called 'brothers' & 'sisters' I had lifelong difficulties. It was not until last year that I finally learned that all of these challenges, & more, were a result of having Asperger's Syndrome. Nearly every person I have dealt with in a professional or support environment has acknowledged that this is indeed a heavy load to carry--the restrictive, isolationist religious upbringing combined with a deficit which makes the most basic communication (i.e., 'small talk,' knowing when to make eye contact, & for how long, being able to express my loyalty & affection without scaring a person off, etc.) difficult. Lucky me

  I am presently on a mission not only to discover who I am spiritually, but to hopefully catch up with the rest of the world when it comes to the ability to interact effectively, give & take, & express myself in ways that both I & others can understand. The resources available to Aspies (persons with Asperger's) are vast & getting more so all the time. Considering how inept I am & the fact that I feel my posts don't make a damn bit of sense, this forum has been wonderfully kind & accommodating towards me.

  Thanks, everyone.

  DR
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  30

  What are you doing this weekend? Is life less interesting now?

  by eyeslice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in some ways lfe as a jw was full - is life now more interesting or more of a chore?.

  i have businesses to see to tomorrow (saturday) then perhaps i will go out for a few beers with my wife n saturday night.

  sunday, catch up on a bit of paperwork and then perhaps watch the football (soccer) on the tv at our local pub.. .

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  DesertRat

  Tonight is the monthly 'music sharing' gathering of my social anxiety support group (which officially disbanded, but we have all remained very good friends). Once a month we all meet at the former facilitator's home, & each person brings along a CD of music they would like to share (my musical knowledge & appreciation has broadened considerably as a result). Normally there is a theme selected (progressive rock, world music, etc.), but this time we decided in advance to leave it open for everyone to bring & share what they would like. Presently I am debating whether to bring Rick Wakeman's 'Six Wives of Henry VIII' or something by King Crimson (which I have really gotten into lately..)

  On Saturday morning is my regular 'standing' appointment for massage at a local alternative-healing center. I enjoy talking with the different practitioners about all sorts of spiritual & metaphysical topics. Very relaxing--not to mention thought-provoking!!!

  On Sunday if I haven't made plans with anybody, I may check out a new church, or perhaps go on a long-overdue hike in the mountains. We are really starting to cool off nicely now, & prime hiking season isn't far off

  I hope everyone here has a great weekend too

  Desert Rat
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  18

  Were "Theocratic Activities" A Burden To You???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if you go to an assembly or convention, you are made to feel that everything is joyful, wonderful, "happifying", paradisaic, unified.

  going to 5 meetings, never missing them, preparing for meetings and doing regular personal and family study and pioneering, if at all possible, raising your kids to be perfect little ministers, etc.......all these types of things are supposed to make you feel wonderful!

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  DesertRat

  Yet another one of the understatements of my life!!!

  Try as I might, I cannot seem to recall anything particularly joyful or happifying about going to five meetings a week (only to hear the same information we had been given two or three months before..); dragging myself out of bed on the weekends to bring an unpopular Bible message to strangers' doors, knowing full well that at least one person would become highly upset & possibly even slam the door in my face (just the thing for those of us who already struggled with little or no self-esteem..); dealing with the butterflies & the nausea while giving a talk or other meeting part; afterwards, instead of the minimum of acknowledgement I could have used, being told that I should be 'doing it for Jehovah' & no other reason; struggling to put in at least one month of auxiliary pioneering in the summer, only to hear that if I truly loved Jehovah, I would be doing more; sitting at my dying father's bedside, trying to convince myself that all of the years he had devoted to the Org would somehow count for something in the end..(after all, the resurrection was JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!!)

  Perhaps some of you had an experience similar to this: Even if you thrive on summer heat as I do, try being joyful or happy for long at a convention where the air-conditioning has broken down & it is 107 degrees outside. Oh yes, I am sure that the poor elderly brothers & sisters on the arena floor were smiling & radiating pure Kingdom joy as they fainted from the heat, & had to be carried out..

  Desert Rat
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  24

  WILL THERE BE PETS IN PARADISE EARTH?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any ideas?

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  DesertRat

  I can see it now--feeding my pet lion a bale of hay, or the leftovers from a dish of veggie lasagna..

  Poor Fido..

  DR
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  64

  How much influence did the internet have on you leaving the organization?

  by The wanderer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  untitled document <!-- .style1 {font-family: verdana} .style2 {font-family: verdana; font-style: italic; } --> discoveries about the organization on the internet admittedly, had it not been for the internet, and all of the dis-.

  coveries that were found on it; i would still be one of jehovah's .

  witnesses.

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  DesertRat

  It was through the Internet (at a public library) that I first learned of Commentary Press, publishers of the Crisis book. I cannot recall the number of hours spent online there researching the history, false prophecies, etc., of the Borg on Saturday & Sunday afternoons. From the same library I also found out about a local ex-JW support group (unfortunately now defunct).

  And of course, the Freeminds site was an invaluable help...eventually leading me here!!

  DR
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  23

  Suggestions when you are sick

  by jayhawk1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what's a guy to do when he is sick?

  i have a head cold with coughing, runny, itchy nose and all around crappy feeling.

  i need to stay entertained.

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  DesertRat

  Eat something with hot peppers in it, if you are OK with those kinds of foods. I am a pepper fanatic (Tabasco, jalapenos, habanero salsa, etc.) under normal circumstances, but when I am sick I take in even more. The red (ripe) forms of jalapenos, etc., if you can find them, are sweeter & chock full of Vitamin C. Also, I have found that Chinese hot mustard clears the sinuses better & faster than anything else I have tried

  Hope you are feeling better very soon!!!

  DR
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  14

  Corcodille Hunters memorial today

  by TopHat in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14852288/.

  who will be watching?

  the animal planet televised memorial for steve irwin.. i know i will be watching, crying my eyes out!.

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  DesertRat

  I would watch it but I don't feel much like crying right now (I did enough of that last week..)

  Far better for me to remember him as he was--a smart, humorous, wonderful guy who shared my love of reptiles & gave me something to look forward to on Saturday mornings

  DR
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  30

  Do you own a Juicer?

  by OUTLAW in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  reading the vigil thread for our friends made me think of this.....juicers are a good way to get antioxidents(cancer fighters) into your body..i own a breville 2speed,850w 13,000rpm motor..this sucker could juice chalk..lol!

  !..anyone else here own a juicer,and have you noticed the health benifits from it?...outlaw

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  DesertRat

  I have an older model Champion juicer which I bought from a couple that was moving out of my apartment complex. Very seldom use it because it is so difficult to clean, but every so often (when I am paranoid about all of the cancer in my family.. ), I will go through a phase of juicing almost daily for a week or two. The usual ingredients include carrots, broccoli, tomatoes, ginger, a spoonful of olive oil, some Tabasco...& maybe a shot or two of . Before this E. coli scare that seems to have swept the country, I might also add a few leaves of fresh spinach too..

  Xjwms...how fortunate you are to still be able to get spinach. Almost every supermarket here has quit stocking it

  DR
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  15

  What self improvements have you made since leaving?!

  by Khrysanthemum in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ?

  and i don't mean remodeling your house!

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  DesertRat

  I try more than anything else to accept people for who they are as individuals, as human beings, rather than to judge them based on their choice of beliefs, cultural background, educational level, etc.

  Such thoughts as, "That person is worldly so they can't be trusted," while still a nuisance, are thankfully diminishing over time.

  DR
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  43

  If Money Were No Object, What Hobby(s) Would You Pursue?

  by Stephanus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'd probably have a pretty well stocked backyard machine shop, complete with lathe(s), milling machine, welding gear, etc.

  i'm a fitter and turner by trade, so it kind of makes sense...

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  DesertRat

  Travelling the world...then I would find a nice little piece of land in some remote corner of Cochise County (southeastern Arizona), raise a few animals, & also have a well-equipped shop on the property where I could tinker with & restore vintage automobiles such as old Porsches, V12 Ferraris, maybe an Aston-Martin & a Lancia or two. Part of the time I would lead spiritual retreats or meditation groups into the surrounding mountains..

  I would also collect exotic birds (esp a hyacinth macaw), every book, CD, & DVD I have ever wanted, as well as a few Mayan artifacts. That's just the beginning..

  Isn't it fun to fantasize???

  DR