Posts by digderidoo

for any who have my email or facebook listing could you contact me as i have some questions with regards to how you have worked step 3.. i am at a place now where i am wondering if aa is going to work for me anymore, 18 months in and i seem to be going around in circles on step 3 and could do with a bit of advice from those of you who can identify with this.

it's not just the god thing, it's also the idea of 'handing your will over', i just cannot conceive the idea of handing my will over to something else as i've done that for years as a jw.

digderidoo

Thanks Mad Dawg for your advice, maybe another home group would be the answer.

The key for me has been to ask myself what each step means for me today, where I'm at now. It's the underlying principle of the step, not the letter of the law, that keeps me sober.

I can see how the meaning of the steps changes Jankyn, that's a good point.

How do you know it works? If you don't drink, you get along better with other people, and you can stand to be around yourself, it's working. And so far, it's working for me. Hang in there, digeridoo.

Sounds about right, thanks.

Paul

18

To any ex JW's in Aloholic's Anonomous

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

i know there's a handful here.. could you pm me to get in touch or respond to this thread.

for any who have my email or facebook listing could you contact me as i have some questions with regards to how you have worked step 3.. i am at a place now where i am wondering if aa is going to work for me anymore, 18 months in and i seem to be going around in circles on step 3 and could do with a bit of advice from those of you who can identify with this.

it's not just the god thing, it's also the idea of 'handing your will over', i just cannot conceive the idea of handing my will over to something else as i've done that for years as a jw.

digderidoo

Then use google to check for their UK sites. They have them. You know how to do that?

Of course i do Blondie, your post sounds a little frustrated. I have googled for uk sites since my time in AA, i do use one secular site in particular, but as for face to face there is nothing other than AA in my city, with the exception of a place called Aquarius who are not a very good service, i did try them briefly, they advocate moderation anyhow.

The medical field in my area adopt a learned behaviour model when it comes to alcoholism. They will not use the word alcoholism, but prefer alcohol dependent, they do not adopt the disease model. With a learned behaviour model, the approach is to unlearn your behaviour therefore safe drinking becomes possible.

So you see in my area/city AA is the only option, the other option is the net for forums, etc which i do use and have been one of the tools in my box.

Paul

18

To any ex JW's in Aloholic's Anonomous

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

i know there's a handful here.. could you pm me to get in touch or respond to this thread.

for any who have my email or facebook listing could you contact me as i have some questions with regards to how you have worked step 3.. i am at a place now where i am wondering if aa is going to work for me anymore, 18 months in and i seem to be going around in circles on step 3 and could do with a bit of advice from those of you who can identify with this.

it's not just the god thing, it's also the idea of 'handing your will over', i just cannot conceive the idea of handing my will over to something else as i've done that for years as a jw.

digderidoo

Thanks blondie but i'm not in Australia, i'm in the UK lol

Paul

32

Is this really what JWs use to "attract" people?

by losthusband in

jw
friends

digderidoo

yep, very typical.

Paul

18

To any ex JW's in Aloholic's Anonomous

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

i know there's a handful here.. could you pm me to get in touch or respond to this thread.

for any who have my email or facebook listing could you contact me as i have some questions with regards to how you have worked step 3.. i am at a place now where i am wondering if aa is going to work for me anymore, 18 months in and i seem to be going around in circles on step 3 and could do with a bit of advice from those of you who can identify with this.

it's not just the god thing, it's also the idea of 'handing your will over', i just cannot conceive the idea of handing my will over to something else as i've done that for years as a jw.

digderidoo

Thanks for those links Blondie, they look good. Unfortunately there are no atheist/agnostics groups in my area.

I am at a serious crossroads OTWO, i currently have 15 months sobriety, and over 18 months of attending AA i seem to be going round and round in circles on step 3, think at times that i have it, just to be told that i haven't if i'm not willing to do the prayer. I have spoken to my sponsor about it, maybe it's time to find a new one as the job of a sponsor is to guide you through the stops, i feel as though he is stopping me by trying to enforce his program onto me.

Good for you jeeprube, i am probably like you in that i don't always attend the meetings, well for me it's more that i attend for a while try to work the program but have time periods where i find other ways to maintain sobriety and only then go when i need them.

99

How could have Rutherford been a 'drunk'?

by wholewheat in

jw
friends

i feel that the apostate's claims that rutherford was a drunk to be far fetched.

on the one hand, they claim that he was so drunk that the brothers at bethel shipped him to san diego to beth sarim, where he stayed drunk out of his mind, then on the other hand, they claimed that he ruled the society with an iron fist, that he was a dictator.

no drunk could have ruled the society like a dictator.

digderidoo

You would have to show me he was arrested a few times for drunken disorderliness before this particular gossip sticks.

I am an alcoholic and never once been arrested for drunken disorderliness.

Paul

18

To any ex JW's in Aloholic's Anonomous

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

i know there's a handful here.. could you pm me to get in touch or respond to this thread.

for any who have my email or facebook listing could you contact me as i have some questions with regards to how you have worked step 3.. i am at a place now where i am wondering if aa is going to work for me anymore, 18 months in and i seem to be going around in circles on step 3 and could do with a bit of advice from those of you who can identify with this.

it's not just the god thing, it's also the idea of 'handing your will over', i just cannot conceive the idea of handing my will over to something else as i've done that for years as a jw.

digderidoo

Jeeprube, i know the feeling. How's things now though? Did you find something that was of a benefit to you, better than AA?

Parakeet, I've felt the same, cringed at the God talk, but i did initially adopt the words of a God of my own understanding which the steps talk of.

OTWO, i have looked into similar lines to yourself. For me God has been a spiritual journey, rather than an existential being. I have looked into eastern philosophy, mainly Buddhism. I have read One Breath at a Time, Buddhism and the Twelve steps which has helped. I've looked a little in Taoism and may read more. I do not adopt that traditional wiew of God and over the last year spoken to many buddhist AA'ers. I have also looked into how atheists work the steps.

The main issue i'm having is the part where it says to 'hand your will over'. It's as if i'm adopting another belief system, that has some sort of control on my life. After coming out of the JW's adopting a belief system, instead of acting on my will is something that sits uneasy with me. In my view we are created or exist with a free will, so why hand it over, which seems to be the AA way.

I have a sponsor in AA who wants me to do the step 3 prayer with him before i move on, i refuse to do it. Because of this i am not doing the other steps, what's the point in working the program. I have used other things as a higher power, the group, a spiritual path, etc I have felt comfortable that i have got step 3 in the past but recently have these issues with handing my will over, also physically doing a prayer with someone is not something i feel comfortable with.

I am considering stopping AA, but at the same time wonder whether this will effect my sobriety.

Paul

18

To any ex JW's in Aloholic's Anonomous

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

i know there's a handful here.. could you pm me to get in touch or respond to this thread.

for any who have my email or facebook listing could you contact me as i have some questions with regards to how you have worked step 3.. i am at a place now where i am wondering if aa is going to work for me anymore, 18 months in and i seem to be going around in circles on step 3 and could do with a bit of advice from those of you who can identify with this.

it's not just the god thing, it's also the idea of 'handing your will over', i just cannot conceive the idea of handing my will over to something else as i've done that for years as a jw.

digderidoo

BTTT before i go to bed.