Thanks for your comments so far.
With regards to the 607 issue. I have looked at many of the arguments mentioned for 587/6. History is a funny thing, in that it is written with agendas in mind. I have come to the conclusion that although there is much evidence in support of 587/6, the balance of probabilities would say that it is the correct date. However, because scholars do not take into account the 70 year desolation it cannot be proved beyond reasonable doubt, which i was trying to do, i cannot get to this burden of proof. In light of this i came to the reasoning that if this date was what was keeping me away, because it cannot be conclusively proved i should at least explore the reasonings of the JW's.
Now i can look all day long at all the arguments in support of 587/6, but it will never imho be proved beyond reasonable doubt. Some will disagree and in all honesty i have looked at the arguments until they are coming out of ears. I feel i need to move on from this as i just keep going around in circles.
For me now, only after going back to meetings, the issues that i have is first of all the treatment of disfellowshipped ones. Secondly, the discouragement of higher education. Thirdly and most importantly the idea that to get to Jehovah we need the organisation as a mediator.
With regards to my drinking, i felt i needed to try to attempt a controlled way of drinking first before i attempted abstinence. This i did, so at least now i know controlled drinking doesn't work me at this present time. In a similar way i felt i had to go back with a clear mind to see what issues i had with it, to find out for myself, rather than rely on the information out there or this board.
I am glad i went back and have no regrets. At least i can learn from the experience and move on from there.
Paul