An elder told the Book Study this week that the titles of the talks for the convention were enough to make your hair stand on end!
I'd love to hear these.
Maybe it'll go/went something like this:
SATURDAY
8.45AM Song and Prayer
9.00AM Wake Up! For The End Is Near.
10.00AM Are YOU Prepared?
11.30AM Armageddon Is Coming. Wake Yourselves!
12.45PM Song
1.00PM Lunch
2.00PM Notice The People Returning To Their Seats Late? Woe To Them, For They Did Not Take Heed Of The 2PM Return Time.
2.30PM More Gossip About People Sat Near You.
Part One: Just How Many Cups Of Coffee Did That Man Consume?
Part Two: Take Your Eyes Off That Short Skirt And Listen.
Part Three: Discipline The Child Drawing In His/Her Notepad.
3.30PM THE END IS SOOOOOOO CLOSE IT IS VERY VERY POSSIBLE IT COULD BE TONIGHT ACCORDING TO A NEW UNDERSTANDING IN THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS ABOUT THE DATE AND ALLIGNMENT OF THE PLANETS AND WHAT SIDE OF THE BED YOU GOT OUT OF THIS MORNING!!!
4.00PM Tonight We Will Be Proven Correct- Put Your Life In God's Hands
4.30PM Many Now Living Will Not See The Sunrise.
5.00PM Extended Baptism Session - all welcome!
SUNDAY
Program Subject To Change
9.00AM Song and Prayer
9.15AM NEW LIGHT: What Revelations Was Really Saying
10.00AM God Works In Mysterious Ways
11.00AM Who Are YOU To Question The Lord?
etc etc!