No need to fake that happiness!
d4g
done4good
JoinedPosts by done4good
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38
Really bizarre part on the meeting last night
by stillin inon the service meeting there was a part covering a couple of pages from the tms guidebook chapter on warmth and feeling.
rather than coaching the r&f on how to make a school talk sound warm, it focused on the people that jws meet in their ministry.
basically, the part could have been labelled "how to fake warmth and feeling.
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done4good
The meeting that always caused the most cognitive dissonance for me was the Service Meeting. Nothing more than sales instruction.
Integ - I agree. Fake to the core. But as jgnat has mentioned, they actually start to rationalize faking their belief, so they don't even know they are faking it, eventually. I think this is the biggest reason why as jws get older, they either become more hardcore, or they leave either physically, or mentally through apathy.
d4g
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142
How do JWs Not see how barbaric YHWH is? Its what started my awakening.
by BU2B inif one reads genesis from the first chapter through the end with an open mind, it is clear that not only is it not true, but that god is potrayed as a cruel, petty, childish micromanaging tyrant.
if one continues reading the ot this is just further solidified.
how do jws not see the obvious?
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done4good
This is precisely the reason why the Borg is as warped as it is. Their fictional leader is biggest narcissist of all. This pretty much allows them to excuse any behavior.
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Why Do Some People Still Disagree With Special Relativity?
by DT ini have to admit that i feel poorly equipped to address this subject.
i'm more interested in the feedback of others than in trying to persuade others of my opinions.
i should also point out that although this topic is specifically about special relativity, much of what is said could also apply to general relativity.. special relativity has had a profound effect on both science and modern culture.
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done4good
From what I can tell, the physics community does not "disagree" with special, (or general), relativity. Any controvesy within the mainstream community deals more the "fundamental" nature of relativity, (or even quantum mechanics), for that manner. This is what leads to things like string theory. String theory, however, has no falsifiable basis, and therefore does not really costitute a theory in scientific terms, and is likely nullified anyway with the discovery of the Higgs boson. Other ideas have been postulated, (and are all the time), but the idea at least since Heisenburg, has been the standard model of quantum mechanics, alongside general relativity when dealing with very large spacetime components. The infinities that result of combining the two in formulae are simply cancelled out to get them to agree. It is the fact this needs to be done that suggests something more fundamental to our universe, (or multiverse), is responsible for the behaviors we can domonstrate both mathmatically and through experimentation for both relativity and the standard model of QM.
In summary, physicists generally DO agree there IS something more fundamental than either.
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Today I Da'd -Twenty-five years ago. Regrets -some.
by Xanthippe inyes twenty-five years ago today we sent in our da letter.
some regrets, not about leaving the cult obviously, but sometimes when i read about people slowly fading and keeping in touch with family and friends i wonder if we should have done that.
of course it was before the internet in 1989 so we didn't know about people fading.. one day we were driving along and we had been talking about moving congregations because we knew something was wrong but of course we thought it was local.
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done4good
Xanthippe -
It will be 7 years, (since I wrote my DA letter), for me in June. 8+ totally out of the org in any case. I never regretted that decision once, even through I have 3 dear friends that I care about still in, and miss quite a bit. I have managed to have some come and go relationships with them since, but at the end of the day, the relationships are still toxic. You can love a heroin addict, but you cannot allow yourself to be in their regular company. They have to want to change. Those under the spell of "The Lie" are no different.
Congrats to you!
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Watchtower Changes. Why
by new hope and happiness infollowing on from a recent post that asked for a list of the watchtower changers since you left, it would be intetesting to compile the list with why the changes were made.. .
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done4good
Legal/monetary are pretty much cut from the same mold. In the end, they are about protecting the WT's material assets.
A third reason would be controlling the sheep. This has both monetary and illustrative value. WT not only needs the money of the R&F, but also needs the numbers unto itself, since any "increase" indicates Jehovah's blessing, supposedly. If the lose control of the R&F, eventually people leave.
The part of this they do not understand, (consistent with any authoritarian regime), is that the tighter they make their grip, the further they push their best and brightest out. This is commonly referred to as brian drain in the corporate world.
d4g
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Reaching Someone on the Human Level
by done4good inprior to these last few days, it has been a few years since i posted here.
i was, for the most part, able to move on quite effectively from my jw experience, (from about the age of 5 to 33), so after about 2 or 3 years, i have mostly just read here as a lurker for the past 5 years or so.
it is time to contribute again.. recently, over the last 7 months, i have been through an ordeal involving some dear jw friends of mine.
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done4good
Thank you for your response, Ecan6. These are about the only people I even consider to be family, (even my own JW family do not mean a whole lot to me, as we were never that close), so this is really a first time experiencing this type of pain over losing someone due to my decision to leave the org.
Do I ever understand now why some people chose the fading route. I apologize to those whom I may have been a bit hard on with fading in the past.
d4g
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Reaching Someone on the Human Level
by done4good inprior to these last few days, it has been a few years since i posted here.
i was, for the most part, able to move on quite effectively from my jw experience, (from about the age of 5 to 33), so after about 2 or 3 years, i have mostly just read here as a lurker for the past 5 years or so.
it is time to contribute again.. recently, over the last 7 months, i have been through an ordeal involving some dear jw friends of mine.
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done4good
Hi all -
Prior to these last few days, it has been a few years since I posted here. I was, for the most part, able to move on quite effectively from my JW experience, (from about the age of 5 to 33), so after about 2 or 3 years, I have mostly just read here as a lurker for the past 5 years or so. It is time to contribute again.
Recently, over the last 7 months, I have been through an ordeal involving some dear JW friends of mine. I do not want to get them outted, so I will not get into much detail about what happened to them, but suffice to say, learning of what happened to this couple rocked my world. I had known them and the husband's sister a long time, and all of them were very instrumental in my success as an adult. They were the more "liberal" type JWs, and were responsible for me getting a University education, among other helpful things in life. I love them all dearly, and always viewed them as big brothers and sisters.
Back in July of last year I decided to reach out to them after several years of absence. I figured that I have been out long enough, and people naturally tend to soften with time. I first reached out to the couple mentioned above. I met the husband for coffee one afternoon after work, and we talked for a couple of hours. He told me about an incident that took place where he and his wife had been seriously wronged by a sister, (pioneer), and her husband. Again, I will not get into the details, but it is one of the absolute worst cases I can think of and their lives are changed permanently for the worst. He and his wife have changed congregations several times since, and have been only marginal attenders. I was shocked, appalled, angry, etc. to learn of what happened to them, and still am for the most part. I also learned that the sister of the husband mentioned above had experinced an issue when her husband stepped down as an elder for reasons that appear to be the typical "good guys finish last as elders" reasons. Her husband is a good man.
So in September I decided to reach out to her as well. She and her husband now live several states away, so this was a phone call. We had a couple of good conversations over the following months, and for the most part, I could see she was her normal pragmatic intelligent self. However, I could tell she was experincing severe cognitive dissonance both over what happened to her brother, and her husband, and tried to rationalize both things away using the same rationale.
This bothered me quite a bit, but I did not want to rock the boat with her just yet. This was only the second time we spoke in several years, and I did not want to scare her off. After another two months, I decided to write her about my own life experience, and what went on with me concerning my reasons for departure from the organization. I was not dogmatic in any way, just relating my own experinces that woke me up, and explained how it forced a changed worldview. I wanted her to connect the dots, and see where there might be a parallel in her own life. She is just too damn intelligent to write off her own brother's and husband's experinces like this. Especially since we both know the details about what took place with her brother.
She replied back to my first letter within a few days. Her response was pleasant enough, but was mostly just trying to avoid the issues I presented by using quoted publications and bible scripture to attempt to get me to change my mind about leaving. I called her after she replied, and we had about the most intellectually honest conversation I believe I have had with her, ever. That set the context for my reply to her letter.
My next letter was quite a bit more to the point. The context set by the previous phone conversation made this necessary, even if I was not ready for it yet. I explained what cognitive dissonance was, how individuals respond when experiencing, etc. I was very gracious, but honest. I never mentioned anything she did specifically. I was trying to reach her on a human level, and leave controversial matters out of the discussion. I wanted her to see the parallels in her own life.
I would have expected her not to reply to that letter if it caused any real concern for her. I never expected a bad reflex with the cult persona. I got it, really bad the following day. It hurt like hell and still does, and it has been close to 3 weeks. I hope the reaction I received from her was because she actually did really "get it", because sacrificing the friendship for this really sucks.
Has anyone else ever had a similar experience, and what can I expect? Does it sink in eventually? She is a bright, successful lady and I have to believe I said something that made her think. Again, this is probably the first time I have ever been shunned in a manner that really hurts.
d4g
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BOE Letter: New Adjustments
by pixel in**this was predicted from some members here**.
to all congregations .
re: adjustments in organizational terminology and assembly arrangements .
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done4good
I would've been excited if the Regional Convention's were reduced to 2 days. That would've been a good change
That is not likely to happen. IMO, the Friday convention day has always been a loyalty and obedience test. Will you take the day off work?? Are you willing to lose your job over it?? Jehovah will surely bless you!
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How many changes since you have been out?
by done4good inpixel's boe letter made me think of this.
i have been out since january 2006. here are the ones i can think of:.
1. deletion of cong.
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done4good
All great examples everyone! Keep them coming...