i know its very common for jws and ex jws to deal with depression.
maybe it's a side effect of cognitive dissonance or the whole outlook on life being a jw.
but what are some ways to cope with depression?
1. Get help. No sense in going it alone, or without professional expertise.
2. Identify the enviromental situations that trigger it, and remove yourself from them if possible.
3. Get medication if needed.
4. Do not abuse alcohol. It will make it worse.
d4g
this is old news, as it happened six or so months ago, but i just found out today.
timothy campbell died of kidney cancer in november of 2013. he started one of the first ex-jw forums, beyondjw.
i met him in person once.
Sad news for sure. Timothy was instrumental in helping me through the mental part of my exit back in 2006. I learned so much from his website, including learning about Ray Franz and CoC. Very kind and gentle person.
RIP
d4g
but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?
.
Blondie-Just be careful that the result is not what you intended.
That is a very good point. I think it deserves a thread of its own.
In short, I would say that it is impossible to know exactly what might happen when a person DA. When I DA'd 7 years ago, I decided it was more important to allow myself to just be me. I am still learning this to a ceratin degree, I think. Most JWs opinions simply did not matter to me all that much at the time. Very recently, I figured out there were some that still mattered to me a whole lot, and to make a long story short, one such friend found my letter a few months ago. It is on this site and even signed with my real name, so if someone wanted to find it they could. I very possibly lost that friend. Nothing really could have prepared me for the pain that followed, but in the end, if I were to continue the dialogue with that friend, the relationship would have likely been damaged anyway, (DA or not), simply because it is not in my nature to fake it, so the truth woud have come out.
In the end, I believe the real issue is does a person need to keep their friends/family more, or do they need to keep themselves more.
d4g
but never gave it to the elders or anyone in the congregation?
.
Blondie-No
I don't play their game
No pearls before swine
Sorry, but this "playing their game" platitute is something that needs to stop. It is repeated far too often here, and many times by respected posters on this board. It could not be any farther from the truth. I DA'd 7 years ago and it had nothing to do with playing anyone's game. I had completed a successful fade by the time I did it. It had nothing to do with "closure" either. Rather, it was a pragmatic decision to ensure my freedom. No looking over my shoulder if I want to put up a Chirstmas tree or be seen at the voting polls for me!
If you think about it, if you have to hide who you really are around JWs, (and this is NOT judging those who are fading, I know there are many good and important reasons to do so), what could be "playing their game" any more than that?
d4g
1.the organization itself denies access to reality and substitutes its own version, interpretations and meanings.. a.only watchtower approved publications are allowed.. b.no higher education is to be pursued.. c.no non-jw friends or associations are encouraged with their "outside" points of view.. d.no free-style questioning of doctrine or criticism permitted.
curiousity is verboten.. e.threat of being "marked" or disassociated looms over them.
2.between every real-world event and the rank and file jw's mind is a roadblock.. a.the moment of identifying is short-circuited by an interpretive moment of re-labeling in watchtower-speak.. b.all things happening are forced into a narrow storyline and propagandized as end times happenings leading to armageddon.. 3.social and personal identity is expunged and replaced by a collective persona: "jehovah's witness".. a.private thinking is red-flagged as selfish and sinful.. b.personal improvement, welfare and ambition is crushed and door-to-door ministry substituted as "worthy" endeavors.. c.self-conscious obsession permeates witness awareness as each person is transformed into a public spectacle of performance for judgement.. d.since you aren't an individual you don't really have a right to fall in love and marry or educate or earn.
Terry-
This is one of the best posts I read on here in some time, (even for you!).
d4g
All I can say is do not expect any response from WT on the matter to be logical or consistent.
d4g
i use the word clinging, as i feel that is what i am doing.
as far as my knowledge of science, namely chemistry is concerned, i am satisfied there is evidence of a creator.
i am happy to believe this.
Kate-
I have not read through this thread yet, but the short answer is no.
The important thing to remember is that it takes time to develop a belief system, once one has been lost. Since we do not live in a vacuum, we cannot expect certain preconcieved notions to just exit our conciousness, as if they never existed. In other words, if as a JW you were a believer, you will likely continue to be for at least some time after you leave. That is perfectly normal. When you add to that the very black and white thinking that comes with the territory of having been a JW, (another artifact of our mind that does not simply disappear when we leave), we are easy prey to want to adopt another belief system too quickly. Do not allow that to happen, and do not be too hard on yourself.
As you go through your own journey, things will become more clear.
d4g
why are jws so afraid of apostates?
their view of apostates seems to be out of the realm of the ordinary, the natural.
its as if the words of apostates are supernatual or spiritistic as if apostates are some kind of jedi knights who can slightly wave their hands or twitch their eyes and bring one under a spell.
Magnum-What’s so powerful about the words of those who oppose certain or all parts of JWdom?
Magnum-They know that the words of many (most?) apostates are clear, simple, factual, logical, & revealing.
I believe you just answered your own question.
d4g
i feel like i wasn't allowed to read a lot of books when i was younger, a lot of which i'm discovering are positivly phenomenal.. i was allowed to read edgar allan poe, who remains my all time favorite writer.
but, i've discovered the joys of stephen king, anne rice, joyce carrol oats, neil gaiman, george r. martin, david sedaris... and so so so many more.. i'm currently getting through "the shining" so i can move on to "doctor sleep".
i'm interested to see if anyone else that discovered the many joys of "worldly" literature, jumped immediately into what they weren't allowed to read... and what was your favorite?.
Even as a JW I was a voracious reader, (I am sure to some degree that did not help my cause there ;-)
While good pieces of fiction exist that we can learn from, I lean towards non-fiction of many different flavors. Physics, biology, psychology, history, sociology, economics, politics, etc.
Currently reading a great book on psychology on the NYT best seller list, Thinking Fast and Slow, by Daniel Kahneman. This one really is taking some time to get through, especially with much of the required reading I am trying to get this semester for school. Looking forward to May.
d4g
1. an ideologue is only interested in their own view of the world to the exclusion of fresh ideas or counter arguments.. 2. an ideologue is never satisfied with the personal opinions of others because they want to convert others to their own opinions.
3. an ideologue cannot compromise because everything is black and white.
if you continue to disagree they must label you as an enemy.
The system they adhere to is certainly idealological. The realization of this forced me out in late 2005. I saw the black and white thinking as logically flawed and not in harmony with reality.
d4g
