Posts by alienagent

16

The double standards continue to amaze me.

by alienagent in

i am so glad i found this place.

everyone is so supportive and kind!

thanks to all for your responses to my previous threads and i have taken much of your advice to heart.

alienagent

THANKS for the support and the advice! Also, thanks for sending the quote from garybuss. I wish I had time to comment on each message individually. I will defintely take all of this advice to heart! Somehow my mother is able pulls some strings in the cong. with this situation. My brother-in-law is an elder and lives on the property - it is obvious that he has a lot of influence in the matter. Yes, this religion has created countless disfunctional families. We have all seen them throughout the course of being part of the Borg collective. It is a relief to finally feel disconnected from the mechanical, brain-sucking borganization.

Funny, my elder br-in-law loves to use the phrase "mental-regulating of Jehovah" when talking to his kids. When they seem to "stray" from what the wts outlines as acceptable, they act almost terrified by it.

Again, thank you all. The support is wonderful! There are so many good people out there. I know that there is evil in the world as the wts likes to preach (i.e. buzzwords "this old system" "wicken system") but friends that I have made in the "world" never leave my side ... they have never judged me for my beliefs, they are simply there for me and will likely be friends for life. No more conditional friendships.

alienagent

16

The double standards continue to amaze me.

by alienagent in

i am so glad i found this place.

everyone is so supportive and kind!

thanks to all for your responses to my previous threads and i have taken much of your advice to heart.

alienagent

Hello everyone!

I am so glad I found this place. Everyone is so supportive and kind! Thanks to all for your responses to my previous threads and I have taken much of your advice to heart. I had submitted my story about how difficult it has been living at home with my mother who is a devout JW. I am very happy to say that I have moved out and have my own apartment. I am also only 5 minutes from my job! Yipee! Wow, how things have improved drastically. Funny how the double standards in the "truth" continue to amaze me. My mother allows my pregnant disfellowshipped sister to live in her house and now she is going to let her boyfriend move in and live there with them. Of course I love my mother and sister both very much - they are my family, but I am about to be completely shunned as soon as my letter of disassociation is read by the elders. While they will all be forbidden to talk to me (except my DF sister) they will be accepting a DF'd relative and her "worldy" boyfriend with open arms and full accomodations. Does this make any sense? Or does anything that the WT teach make any sense to begin with? A member of this forum here gave me some excellent advice. I wish I could remember his screenname - if you recognize this please step forward because I want to give you credit. You said (not verbatim) that you treat JW's as if the they are mentally ill. Do not question the delusion that they live under. About three years ago, when my marriage fell apart, I ended up in the hospital due to severe depression. I remember seeing a lot of patients with so many delusions. It was unwise and futile for me to try and convince the schizophrenic that his "friend" was not real, but only a delusion in his mind. In fact, he may have become violent if I tried. How many witnesses have you questioned started becoming agitated and perhaps even raised their voice? I have only recently discovered the mental programming that takes place inside the organization. There is a programmed answer to every question. If you try to question the changing doctrines, the answer is always "the light is getting brighter". There is no thinking or reasoning - just a response that is planted in the brain.

The one thing that has bothered me most is that there is absolutely nothing within the organization that truly helps people with everyday living. There are no volunteer services to assist the less fortunate - no assisted living - no nothing. The solution is always more field service, meeting attendance, personal study, and more prayer. All talk and no real action. Only fellow JW's are worthy of help - that is if they are active enough and get at least the national average in field service. When I could not get out in field service one month, do you know what advice was offered? "Well, Sister Sickly can pioneer! Why can't you get at least ten hours?" I have fallen in the comparison trap numerous times.

I have a girlfriend (yes, she is an evil "worldy" girl) that has asked about my family and wants to meet them. After all, she and I are very close and it is only natural to desire acceptance from the family. She is a very sweet woman with a love for life and a love for people. I am having trouble explaining why they will avoid her. My non-JW relatives have gladly opened there arms to her and have a non-judgemental attitude. Recently my neice, who plays violin, had a concert at one of the local colleges. I love to hear her play. My girlfriend really wanted to go with me to the concert. With hesitation, I explained to my mother that I will be taking her with me to see my neice play and perhaps meet the family. My mother said: "Well, if you bring her, you won't sit with us. You will have to sit somewhere else." All the while my sister and her boyfriend will be there - he will be sitting with them as part of the family. I am terribly hurt by this. For a religion that preaches love, kindness and all the fruitages of the spirit, I see no Christ-like attributes among them. I see people who are so hypmotized and controled by a man-made organization that they have no concept of logic and reasoning.

Thanks for letting me vent!

23

Fantasizing about sex during the meetings/assemblies.

by alienagent in

perhaps this is a topic that has been mentioned in older threads, but i would love to hear some thoughts on the matter.. i remember as a youth sitting through the loooong assembly progams bored out of my skull as the monotone speaker was saying something about the angels having a lust for women, or something like that.

it was not uncommon for me to drift off into a nice sexual fantasy, usually a more romantic one that would start with gentle foreplay and end in satin sheets in a candlelit bedroom ... nice.

this seemed to be a habit for many years, particularly before i got married and only got worse after divorce (sometimes i think i'm having a second adolesence).

alienagent

The worst is when you "fantasize" a little to "hard" (if you know what I mean) and then the it's time to stand and sing!

LOL! Yeah ... I do remember the more embarassing moments.

23

Fantasizing about sex during the meetings/assemblies.

by alienagent in

perhaps this is a topic that has been mentioned in older threads, but i would love to hear some thoughts on the matter.. i remember as a youth sitting through the loooong assembly progams bored out of my skull as the monotone speaker was saying something about the angels having a lust for women, or something like that.

it was not uncommon for me to drift off into a nice sexual fantasy, usually a more romantic one that would start with gentle foreplay and end in satin sheets in a candlelit bedroom ... nice.

this seemed to be a habit for many years, particularly before i got married and only got worse after divorce (sometimes i think i'm having a second adolesence).

alienagent

Perhaps this is a topic that has been mentioned in older threads, but i would love to hear some thoughts on the matter.

I remember as a youth sitting through the loooong assembly progams bored out of my skull as the monotone speaker was saying something about the angels having a lust for women, or something like that. It was not uncommon for me to drift off into a nice sexual fantasy, usually a more romantic one that would start with gentle foreplay and end in satin sheets in a candlelit bedroom ... nice. This seemed to be a habit for many years, particularly before I got married and only got worse after divorce (sometimes I think I'm having a second adolesence). Of course, I do not go to the Hall now, but I remember those moments when my mind would just wander so much that everyone was already five paragraphs ahead of me during the WT study. I think I may have unconciously had a grin on my face as I was taking the lovely Sister Hasaniceass sitting two rows up to the bedroom.

I know I am not the only one who drifted into these little sinful fantasy worlds during the meetings or assemblies.

alienagent

16

any one want to talk

by ttforb in

i was a jw and i d/a myself.. i have sinced married and had two wonderful kids, my parents are still jws, and hardly ever see my kids.

i do not regret d/a myself,my parents are the ones missing out on their grandkids,.

i was accused of doing something and the brothers acted like they did not believe me, i told them that the only ones who mattered,was me the other person and god.

alienagent

Hello and welcome. I am new here myself and have enjoyed reading the posts and receiving the wonderful support. For me, my JW marriage crumbled (as many of them do) and along with it so much slander from her elder father in the congregation. I am not DF/DA'd, but it is early yet and only a matter of time. I was raised in the "the truth" and as a youth tried to obey all the WT rules - comb my hair just right, modest dress, keep it in my pants before marriage, field service, drag myself to every boring meeting etc. All along, my heart just wasn't in it. I cound see the mindless drones sitting there being spoon fed the propoganda. In a nut-shell, in my experience I have discovered that "the truth" is no more than conditional love, a depressing and gloomy view of the world (i.e. all non-JW's are walking corpses, the dark cloud of armageddon hanging over my head) and a ticket to paradise with a string attatched.

Sorry to hear about your situation. As said, it is not uncommon, but there are real people out there in the "evil non-JW world" who would like to be your friends and be of support. Not a people who are going to offer you friendship based on the rigid conditions of the WT fantasyland.

alienagent

17