Posts by esw1966

32

Being afraid

by ex-nj-jw in

jw
friends

when i was a little girl, i was very afraid of thunderstorms - every time we had one i thought it was armageadon (did i spell that right?)..

so what were you afraid of?

what made you think the "big a" was here?

esw1966

I'm embarrassed... It seems every loud, low, rumble made me think, "could that be it????" Then I would think, "wow, what if that WAS"

I was always afraid when they would take about peace on the news

I remember Reagan talking at the U.N. I thought FOR SURE that was the beginning of things! I prayed so hard KNOWING that I wasn't good enough to live and begged for a way to be a survivor of Armageddon. I thought my goose was cooked! I even dragged my 'worldly' neighbor over and said this was IT!

I am so glad not to have to worry about that nowadays!!!

45

I am dropping off the face of the web...

by jgnat in

jw
friends

i leave in a few days.

nothing drastic, just a glorious road trip through the rockies.

unless i drag hubby in to a cyber cafe along the way, i will be incommunicado.

esw1966

Have a GREAT time!!!

32

Do You Have The Desire To Move On From Your JW Past?

by minimus in

jw
friends

sometimes i wonder if some might actually enjoy staying in a rut.

do we forsee ourselves being totally liberated from our former religious past??

personally, i have no issues feeling bad, angry or hostile toward where i am now.

esw1966

I just wanted to say that I fully agree with what you said!!!

I believed jw for 30 years with my whole heart. Only by a strange set of circumstances was I able to see that what I was taught was incorrect.

I am now happier than I have ever been!

Now, I cannot believe that I ever believed what I was taught. But you are taught to believe what you are told and not to investigate life and it's realities for yourself. DANGER.

I am born again and I love it! There is a much better life outside the org than you could ever imagine!

Ethan

5

What if the ex died......

by esw1966 in

jw
friends

this thought came up today.

i have 3 children.

i am hopeful for them to get out of jw someday.

esw1966

This thought came up today. I have 3 children. I am hopeful for them to get out of jw someday. If the ex died, how would I find out? Would someone actually call me or would all the relatives kidnap my kids and never let me know.

I live 1600 miles away and have really no conversation with them as they do not answer my phone calls. What would happen if their mother passed away? How would I find out? Would the jw's have any chance of keeping them from me?

20

What do you think about disassociating?

by esw1966 in

jw
friends

i have left my old congregation 2 years ago.

i have left jw teaching 1 1/2 years.

i like being true to my beliefs.

esw1966

I have left my old congregation 2 years ago. I have left jw teaching 1 1/2 years. I like being true to my beliefs. I considered myself da'd, but I thought I would hold out until there was no hope for my father, sister, and 3 daughters. I am feeling more and more that I can be of no help to them. So, as they want nothing to do with me, I am beginning to question if I should da myself soon. I held off thinking my relatives could talk to me easier thinking I was just df'd and not da'd.

What are the pro's and con's of da'g? I think I will feel better for it if I da'd. But then I feel as if I am in a worse position to help them. (As I said, it doesn't seem as if I am of much help to them now.)

Your comments on disassociating oneself would be appreciated. Thanks!

Ethan

81

Why, exactly, are you here?

by animal in

jw
friends

why, exactly, are you here on jwd?.

are you out of the jw's and still needing association with like people?.

do you lack the skills to have real friends in real life?.

esw1966

Do you prefer people with the same experiences you had?

I came to realize that jw was bad through this site.

I came with my questions and through others I have learned it to be in error and through this site I have learned how to cope with the struggles of leaving a cult.

I enjoy hearing the stories of others and how best to handle this. It is also very helpful to realize that others are going through the same thing. It is helpful to be able to talk to someone who knows where you've been. It is strengthening. It is also funny sometimes.

I love it and am grateful for it.

Ethan

17

Help needed.

by KW13 in

jw
friends

i always try and put a happy face on things, i am a happy person in many ways - i have a wife i love and a son on the way who i cant wait to meet but all the time something is wrong.. i suffer from depression and from time to time it gets me down and when i say down i mean down, maybe it was because i was at a really impressionable age but i became a jehovahs witness i found so much comfort in being in a giant bubble - i only appreciated some of the positive aspects of being a witness after leaving.

i was told i'd not see the end of high school cos i'd be in a paradise, that i'd be a young boy leading animals etc and the simple fact is, the thought of death itself frightens me.. i find it hard to fit in the world properly, like a square where a circle should go.

i stick out really badly in most situations, people detect always there is something 'different about me' despite my best efforts to hide it.. my coping mechanisms make me angry, frustrated and tired at the best of times and i just want to complete stage 2 of escape this cult.

esw1966

This is MY experience.

Leaving the hall was good for me. I grew back to the happy person I had been before I was a jw. That was SO exciting and it felt good. But my search hadn't ended there.

My girlfriend had me start my spiritual journey. We checked out churches. I found 2 that I like. One day I agreed with what they said and I was 'born again'.

Honestly, my life changed from that week on. It was amazing what happened inside me. I became whole again! I understand it to be the holy spirit residing in you and changing you from the inside. I know it can sound pretty strange, but for me it has been the greatest thing to have ever happened to me and I nourish it every day so that I can get more and more of it! I crave it! I live for it!

From that, I would say that no one is fully happy until they come into a relationship with God through Jesus. And when they do, their life's search is over and joy and love overwelms you and you see that as the only true way for people to be happy because happiness comes from God and not ourselves.

Hope that helps. Hope it doesn't sound too wierd. It is my truth up to this point and I love it!

Good luck!!!! I hope the best for you and your search for happiness! You have friends here!!! Write any time! [email protected]

Cornwall Church Christ the King Mars Hill Church

Ethan

47

Former Jehovahs WitnessAre Hypocrites

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

former jehovahs witnessare hypocritesit amazes me how these people who once donned three-piece suits .

with book, bag and bible in hand are now singing the blues.

these former jehovahs witnesses, who would annoy a man and his.

esw1966

I agree to a point.

I, as a jdub, shunned others when confronted with it. But at least I was kind about it. I did it sheepishly, like I don't want to bu you know, I have to, sorry. The look.

So, I was a part of the problem and I knew the rules. I knew that could happen to me.

But on the other hand, I say that the way I acted was done in ignorance. I used to agree with shunning for a deliberate bad course taken and therefore a 'helpful' way to help that one see their error.

Now, I see it as a way for jdubs to insulate the group and to keep them all from discoverying the truth. I understand the shunning. It is hurtful. It is sad. My life has improved tremendously by getting OUT of jdub! Now, I look back and try to figure out a way to help them. I don't know if it will ever happen.

So, shunning is good for jdubs. It keeps them from learning all the great things I have learned. So, it is protecting the heard and accomplishing it's purpose. Unfortunately, that means that it hurts all it's members individually because it keeps them all in the dark.

Shunning is the price paid for leaving a cult. It is a heavy one at that. But it is worth every bit of pain for the freedom and joy and life that grows from each tear shed. That doesn't speak of hypocrasy. That speaks of the heart.

55