It's so sad to hear about this happening to anyone nevermind a young person. In my thoughts and prayers!
tremoka
JoinedPosts by tremoka
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23
I have a favor to ask of all of you.
by lv4fer inmy hairdresser has been diagnosed with lower bile duct cancer.
she is 21 years old and a wonderful girl with her whole life ahead of her.
she needs your prayers.
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Santa Clause, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy...
by changeling ini recall witnesses saying how evil wordly parents were by "lying" to their children about these characters.
how witness children were fortunate that their parents always told them the truth.. so, i wonder, have you ever met an adult who was messed up because of having found out that santa clause and friends were not real?
are therapist's couches everywhere filled with these poor souls?
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tremoka
Good Call Changling!
I was raised celebrating all these things and the thought NEVER occured to me of being lied to. It was tradition, fun and childhood memories. I never thought of this deception until the JWs pointed it out.
I've NEVER met anyone scarred by these things. However, I'd have to say most of the JWs raised without these traditions carry the trauma.
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Pointers please in writing my letter of Disassociation!
by tremoka inwooohooo!
i've made my decision!
i'm doing it, can't live in limbo any longer.
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tremoka
To jgnat:
These are the pointers I've been looking for. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME suggestions! I really like the "list" idea. I'll show my hubby this topic and your post- this will help us execute our plan. I likewise think it may be a good idea to jointly send in the letter. I think it's more the effect it would have on his mother, more consideration for her that prevents us from resigning together. This way I end up t the BAD guy! & he's more in the safety zone! hahaha Or perhap this wouldn't be good. We'll figure it out. We'll see what happens. Thank you!
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Pointers please in writing my letter of Disassociation!
by tremoka inwooohooo!
i've made my decision!
i'm doing it, can't live in limbo any longer.
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tremoka
To LDB and Exwitless,
My experience is quite simular to yours. Likewise there's no way for us to hide from them! Yes we also have a cleaning business and this has been something that has held us back from openly living our lives as we choose to. Just recently we lost a contract that was under an Elder. All our other work is ours with no JW affiliation.
My family is not part of the borg. My husbands mother and sister are and some extended family that we never have contact with anyway. My hubby's other sister and husband are underground exjws and in the same mindset as us. Although I believe it may not be in their best interest to take the same action I am able to do. I almost feel I should discuss this matter with them at least to see how it would affect them. They live in another town and have been able to live somewhat away from the "microscope" than what we have. I wish my situation was more like theirs.
The letter I am going to write will be more of a resignation or withdrawal of membership. Simple and to the point and a threat of legal action if they continue to "harrass" me or my family. For the mother in law all she needs to know is that for whatever reason I am no longer part of the WTS. She can draw her own conclusions. I think if all at once we all openly left it would kill her. So perhaps by myself getting the ball rolling it may adjust her to it more gradually. She'd only be left with one child left in the borg although who I don't think has even been to a meeting this year. I will continue to have the best relationship with her as I can-ultimately it's up to her. The kids love her and respect that everyone has different belief systems.
You are right, every situation for each individual is unique. Each person must decide which is best for themselves. The benefits of cutting all ties far outweigh the consequences. The shit may hit the fan but in the long run our lives will be our own!!!!! Nothing worth while is easy.
I've faded for 3 years. For my situation it has not had the results needed. I do it out of love for myself, family and for what is in our best interests. Not out of the heat of emotion as was earlier suggested by some. When it is done it will be done with strategy, caution, careful planning and with utmost consideration and respect for those involved. It will not be rushed into! But in the end I must live with myself and I'm responsible for my children. What peace of mind it finally brought when I made the conscious realisation that this must be done!
The kids are begging me to do it!!!!! They've had enough. They're even scared to answer the door if its a JW or answer the phone! LOL My son helped decorate the floats for the Santa Clause parade this year, the whole time he was stressed that JWs would see him! Yeah-they need not worry about them anymore-I'm taking care of it!!!!
Thanks for sharing your expertise! I admire you both for what you've accomplished this year! Hey, when all is said and done I think we should have a Break Free, Live Free Celebration!
Thanks again guys!
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Remember we dress modestly when we get together!!!!
by tremoka ini've been inactive for a few years.
missed the past 2 memorials.
i've kinda faded out, haven't had much contact with anyone!
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tremoka
BigD- LMAO again!!!! That brother that cautioned against Sears Catalogues hmmmmm I'm wondering if he got that idea from Something About Mary! LOL
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Pointers please in writing my letter of Disassociation!
by tremoka inwooohooo!
i've made my decision!
i'm doing it, can't live in limbo any longer.
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tremoka
I'm shocked over the difference in opinion on this one!
One question for those who don't think DAing is a good idea. I live in a town of 5000 people. Sow let's say xmas decor is up, won't this give my Mother in law who lives here a hearattack if she had no idea where I stand? I like to be clear on my standing with people. No confusion. No games. Everyone knows everything you do when you live in a small community. We CAN NOT move.
Please could you give me some alternatives in handling this situation that does not involve a formal disassociation?
This is something I've stewed over for a couple years and something I've discussed with my husband for a year.
My mother in law freely associates with her df'd relatives. Her brother was a charged sex offender and she still supports him! It's only her and my sister in law I fear hurting. Everyone else can get over it!
THanks Again EVERYONE!!!! I love seeing the different opinions!
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tremoka
Yes! I've had pressure from friends and family for a while now and I finally caved 4 weeks ago. I'm a Face Bood addict now! Ive met people I havent seen in years! I love it! You should join! There are also exjw support groups you can join as well. Hope to see you on Face Book! If you decide to PM me and I'll request you as a friend! Cheers!
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Pointers please in writing my letter of Disassociation!
by tremoka inwooohooo!
i've made my decision!
i'm doing it, can't live in limbo any longer.
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tremoka
I live in a small town. Run into Jws all the time. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder if I'm in a store buying a b-day card. I want to openly celebrate xmas & holidays and not have to worry about a phone call or a door knocking or judicial actions. I don't want my kids to have to hide or shy away from school activities that are looked down on or forbidden. Which happened this year, my daughter was part of the school choir and they performed xmas carols at nursing homes and the local mall. I told her if anyJWs saw her it we'd be kicked out of the religion and it would cause many problems. What does that teach her? I don't want them living in fear! I do not want my children to develp a double life style complex. I'm tired of randomly being called on for congregation activities (although this rarely happens) but any contacts I may have tend to re-open traumas I've had.
I need to put this behind me and move on with my life! I've tried living low key-it's emotionally unhealthy and untrue to myself. Now if we could move away it may be another story. But there's no way that's possible.
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Pointers please in writing my letter of Disassociation!
by tremoka inwooohooo!
i've made my decision!
i'm doing it, can't live in limbo any longer.
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tremoka
A few things I failed to mention.
My husband is an inactive JW who until this year believed in the 'truth' and that there was just something wrong with him. Then I bought him Crisis of Conscience and some other Mind control recovery stuff. It's been a HUGE healing for him.
It is HIS family that lives with us not mine. So I know this would stir up some major commotion in their relationship.
I could really use some thoughts and helpful guidance in this situation!
Cheers!
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27
Pointers please in writing my letter of Disassociation!
by tremoka inwooohooo!
i've made my decision!
i'm doing it, can't live in limbo any longer.
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tremoka
WoooHooo! I've made my decision! I'm doing it, can't live in limbo any longer. It's not healthy for me, nor a good example for my children. PROBLEM. I have JW family who lives in an in law suite and I'm afraid of hurting them. I am afraid of stressing my husband out financially if they decide they can't live in the household and we loose their rent. (I know we'd be tight but I've got great business ideas for the space) I've told my husband what I need to do, he's supportive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's also worried about business ties.
So, how do I go about doing this?