Posts by dobbie

9

Dilemma.. please help

by DeusMauzzim in

jw
friends

first of all thanks for the reactions to my first post.

very kind of you.. i've been struggling with the following question the last few months.

'they' are absolutely sure they have chosen their own beliefs, have researched it themselves, are thinking for themselves, and that the organization is just the whole lot of people like them.

Vivamus is right. And i've found that by my leaving certain ones who weren't considered all that strong in it have renewed their efforts and have actually got stronger in it - damn!The more you talk to them about it the more they'll stick to it, after all they are trained to expect opposition and people telling them the society etc is wrong aren't they, so i think when we do try and talk to them to show them things etc they are already programmed to turn from us and dismiss whatever we might say. All we can do however frustrating, is wait and be there for those that may hopefully want help in the end. Nellie's right too, say anything against it, however correct it may be nad a little 'apostate' siren will be going off in their heads!

81

As of Thursday night I am no longer a Jehovahs Witness

by Es in

jw
friends

yep my fade has come to a stop, got the phone call off my dad today he asked me if i celebrate christmas and birthdays and i said yes, and so he said they are going to go ahead with the disassociation letter i sent over two years ago!!!!..

he said that after today the only phone calls i will get are if there is an emergency, but nothing social my response to that was well you havnt seen or spoken to me for over a year im used to it.. he also said there was no bad feelings and that i should never doubt there love for me, and that the stupid thing of it is they can associate with mike and the kids just not me.. im really happy and calm about it, ive had my initial cry over it, and now i feel good that i dont have to lie and hide things anymore.. its such a relief.. luv ya all.

es.

dobbie

Es i'm so sorry this stupid organisation has control of your parents, but i'm so glad you had the strength for the sake of you and your gorgeous family to leave. I too held onto my d'a letter for a bit before posting but i haven't got blood relatives in it, only my husbands. It still sucks though. I know what you mean also about they would try to indoctrinate your little boy. I recently let my sis in l take my 4 yr old to a witness gathering as his best friends at school are the jw kids (unfortunately!), i couldn't believe it when he came home and started to ask if he could go to meeting with his cousin etc. My m in l had been saying to him wouldn't he like to still go to meetings with his cousin etc, she even texted my husband to go and pick up a dvd she'd done for my boy - of the whole jw gathering! I am still angry now and thinks its terrible to put things in a 4 yr olds head whenhis parents aren't around. This is the grandmother who has never bothered with him before, though she lives in the same town, and when he was in intensive care at 1 yrs old, she told me she wouldn't go and visit him becauseit was too far(30 min drive and she knew they thought he wasn't going to last the night), thing is though the assembly hall and a shopping mall are v near it and she can make those!My other son who's 2 doesn't even know who she is and i'm going to try and keep it that way.

Well done Es for this brave step, i know its so difficult but you have the one thing that i have that keeps me going as well at the moment, two smashing kids and a supportive hubby. We are all here for you as well. Big hugs to you Debbiex

15

Did you ever hear of stealing from the contributions box?

by jambon1 in

jw
friends

did anyone ever hear about bros/sis`s stealing 'dedicated money' from the box?

dobbie

Yes the brother in charge of the contributions box stole from it and was stripped of priveleges. He doesn't go to meetings anymore, just the memorial, after splitting up a second marriage, he married the sister, went back to meetings and was doing well, then someone called his wife the 'spawn of satan' and they stopped going(understandably). I don't know why he did it though cos he lived with his parents and had a good job so he didn't need the money at all. Luckily i've hardly ever donated any money to them so it wasn't any of my cash he took!

1

How many families make up your hall - or old hall?

by Billzfan23 in

jw
friends

i was wondering how many families (extended families) make up your congregation or the one that you used to belong to if you are gone... i have been in 3 different congregations in my life, and it seems like in every one of them there were about 4 or 5 families that made up the bulk of the congregation and almost everyone else was related in one way or another to those 4 or 5 families.

for example, in my congregation now about 90% of the hall is related as siblings, spouses, in-laws, cousins, or parents of every publisher.

that seems to be very typical - and as families break down, so do congregations....

dobbie

My old congragation is the same, my husbands mother and family, her other son and family, her sister and family, 3 boys all married, are in ours, they are mostly marreid to ones in our congregation who have family members married to others in our congregation, and the other cong. that shares the hall, so i have worked out that my husband is related by blood and marriages to half the congregation, there are some other families like that as well. They are obviously not getting enough new blood in so will probably start interbreeding next!I know there seems to be a big shortage of single brothers in the uk, or ones that want to settle down anyway. There are loads of single sisters in their 30's and 40's.

21

Why did we failed to see the rather obvious signs?

by greendawn in

when we decided to accept the jws something drew us to them perhaps the belief that they had the truth and they could provide a refuge from the so called armageddon.

or it could be the need to belong somewhere or to associate with (ostensibly) spiritual people as was the case with me.

but why (unlike many other interested persons) did we miss the many rather obvious signs that there was something fundmentally wrong with this organisation so as to save ourselves a lot of trouble in the future when deciding to leave it?

dobbie

Perhaps we were drawn in because we needed to belong somewhere, or the way they all seemed to be totally convinced it WAS the truth made me think they must be right. I don't know but i was 19 and my best friend was in it and i liked the social scene ( though after i was baptised it was non existent - no clique for me!) I think that personally once i got in to it and she was pushing for my baptism i did'nt want to see the signs, it would have been too awkward to have stopped studying with her i would have lost her friendship (though i have now anyway). Also aren't they always telling you to push any doubts from your mind etc , boy was i stupid!!

(ps have to mention your picture - i have that one over my fire in the sitting room, i think it's beautiful)

43

I lost my parents today cause of the Dubs...Uggggh!!

by FreedomFrog in

jw
friends

everything has been going well for me for awhile until tonight.

mom calls and announces she can no longer talk with me.

i'm sad because i don't get to see mom and dad or my little neice that's sierra's age.

dobbie

<<<<FREEDOMFROG>>>>

I'm really sorry you have to go through this ff, i know it really sucks but stay strong for your family, and be true to yourself. I think you've handled this news really well, and if your mum does change her mind at some point and want contact again you're making it easier for her to do so by the calm way you spoke and what you said to her. Have a great day with your new found family tomorrow - my husband recently discovered more non jw relatives than he thought he had and we are staying with them boxing day, its really helped him knowing he's got extra support. Meantime, we are all here for you so if you need to vent just do it!Debbie

18

JWs view of Lord of the Rings VS Harry Potter

by serotonin_wraith in

jw
friends

i'm sure this will vary between jw to jw, but their choices are:.

1) they won't watch/read either.. 2) they will only allow lotr, not hp.. 3) they will only allow hp, not lotr.. 4) they will allow both.. in my experience, 3 never happens and 2 happens the most.

with the similar theme of magic, the occult, fantasy and monsters, i wonder what lets them think one is okay and the other is not.

dobbie

I went to see the first Harry Potter with my mil (elders wife) and her young son.Another elders son used to play the HP playstation game and so did my 2 bil's at my house.Another family i know would go spare at their kids if they watched something with only a glimpse of magic in it.When we sometimes had the book study at our hout i'd hide all my harry potter games so they could'nt see them.Wouldn't want to stumble anyone now!

19