Posts by dobby

19

Any Advice - Afteraffects of taking the Reality Pill

by dobby in

jw
friends

i have been posting on this board on and off for about two years now.

it has been a tremendous help to me to read other people's experiences, to laugh, cry and just plain identify.

however, something weird is going on with me in the last six months and i am totally freaked out.

dobby

Thanks so much - the advice you all have given me is wonderful.

It's so hard for me to function without some idea as to where to go next, but you all have headed me in the right direction. I just need to make some decision now and work this out.

One thing I was thinking about today is the folks who died as heros on 9/11. It helped me to realize what an honor a brave and meaningful death can be - just as in life you can have honor. And even if your death is not a hero's death, it's good to know that you can go and leave a legacy of love and happiness behind.

Thanks again for your honesty and kind words.

15

My FIFTH anniversary is on Saturday....

by LDH in

jw
friends

hi guys!

i've been trying to keep up with all of your lives, but i've been so busy lately.

i just wanted to share my good news .i'm sure most of you have been married for a lot more than 5 years, so it might not be that big of a deal for you...but read on.. i wanted to hold out some hope for non-jws who are married to a jw (whether active or passive.

dobby

What a great post!

Happy, happy, happy anniversary!

19

Any Advice - Afteraffects of taking the Reality Pill

by dobby in

jw
friends

i have been posting on this board on and off for about two years now.

it has been a tremendous help to me to read other people's experiences, to laugh, cry and just plain identify.

however, something weird is going on with me in the last six months and i am totally freaked out.

dobby

Thank you all for answering my post. I woke up this morning to your words and I feel so much relief!

Lady Lee - interesting that you suggest a therapist that deals with trauma survivors, never thought of it that way. I like the idea of visualizing a safe place.

Ravyn and Blackout - I really thinkyou all are right about how we change. I do believe deep down that I will work through this and it is just a part of the metamorphisis. I guess I am just really scared that this stage will take longer and be more debilitating - thus the possible need for a counselor.

Maverick - It is very inspiring to think that you got through the things you suffered - my heart goes out to you. and you're right - worrying does not prevent bad things from happening. I think that somehow I have felf that worrying gives me some measure of control over things. It's true that many times I have "seen" things coming and was totally right - even then I was still unprepared. So why bother - wasted energy, right?

Six of Nine - I think the very fact that death is a common experience is part of my problem. I want to be different - I want to fight it, which is, of course, ridiculous.

rundontwalk - Very positive outlook - good suggestion.

sens - hang in there buddy. I have been out for almost two years - and you see what I just posted! - take it one day at a time.

19

Any Advice - Afteraffects of taking the Reality Pill

by dobby in

jw
friends

i have been posting on this board on and off for about two years now.

it has been a tremendous help to me to read other people's experiences, to laugh, cry and just plain identify.

however, something weird is going on with me in the last six months and i am totally freaked out.

dobby

I have been posting on this board on and off for about two years now. It has been a tremendous help to me to read other people's experiences, to laugh, cry and just plain identify. However, something weird is going on with me in the last six months and I am totally freaked out. So I am not sure where else to turn. I wonder if anyone can give me some advice.

For the last year and a half I have been so happy to have left the organization. When I learned the truth about the truth, it was like coming out of a state of hypnotism. I woke up to see that financially, physically, mentally, etc I had been living a nightmare and the affects of being a witness were not good. BUT I could forgive myself and move on - I had no problems with this. I think the sheer thrill of having control of my life, for the first time in my life, has carried me for the past year and a half. I have been on a kind of high, in the sense that I have so much hope for my future and am delighted to think I can use my talents to create a life I have always dreamed of.

However, for the last six months or so I have going through (what I think) are classic fear of death symptoms. I don't know what else to call it. It has finally hit home that this life is probably all there is - I can never be totally convinced there is a God. At first I didn't really think about it. But now it is affecting me especially at night. I have been waking up gripped with fear of the eventuality of my death. It's like I can feel all of the people who have existed before me - I can feel their lives, hopes, dreams, hear their voices (no I am not literally hearing voices!). Sometimes I imagine death so clearly, the light slowly extinguishing, what it would be like to see my life flash before my eyes, the fact that IF I have time to think before I die I would probably end up contemplating something completely uselss like why didn't I ever get my bicycle fixed or why didn't I pick up milk from the grocery store. The idea of non-existence is terrifying me.

Has anyone gone through this? Is this just a phase that I will come to grips with, or should I get my butt to a therapist tomorrow? I am wondering if this is the last phase in taking that (was it blue?) blue pill - like in the Matrix - the last vestige of fantasy land fading. But how will I face this with courage? I read once that the sensitive and clever can never be happy. Well clever is debatable in my case (not sure I even spelled debatable correctly) but sensitive is definitely me. I have always had highly tuned intuitian and empathy. Being around people sometimes completely drains me, because I feel so much, that I have been fairly introverted my entire life. Being a witness really helped block this out - it truly made me the closest to unfeeling that I will ever be - but I don't have that block anymore.

I do prefer leaving the fantasy behind, I want to face reality but am afraid this death thing will be a tough one - can anyone offer any suggestions?

Thanks.

28

Was it just my hall?

by freedom96 in

jw
friends

my wife and i joke about the differences in our own halls all the time.

i swear she lived in a country club compared to my hall.. just to give a couple of examples:.

and this is from when i was growing up until i left home at 18.. every single weekend was field service.

dobby

This sounds like all of the FIVE congregations I attended and my family as well. Things do differ from hall to hall, family to family.

This reminds me of this time my husband and I were going camping over a long weekend. We invited this elder and his wife -they were close to our age - my husband was a ministerial servant at the time. They asked us what were our plans for the meeting on Sunday. I remember bursting out laughing and asking them what were they talking about, we were going to be camping so we hadn't planned on going to the meeting. They were so shocked and said they would only come with us if they could atend the meeting. Well we didn't go camping that weekend - we cancelled our plans and later went camping alone so we didn't have to be pressured to go to the meeing. JEEZ!

23

The Aug. 1, Watchtower is Lying - Again!

by metatron in

jw
friends

the august 1, 2003 issue of the watchtower is lying -- again.. on page 20 it states,.

"they [jws] have no paid clergy".

this is false.

dobby

This is an excellent post.

Even the nicest CO's take advantage of the congregation. One CO we offered to take to lunch specifically said he wanted to go to Red Lobster. I think we paid well over $100 for that meal.

26

More pics from Jesika and Eric's wedding

by Billygoat in

jw
friends

okay, so i know i'm a total slacker for taking so long at this, but my connection at home stinks and i hate the idea of taking 48 hours to upload all my pictures.

so here i am at work on a lunch break.

jesika and eric, you will get hardcopies of all these.

dobby

What beautiful pictures. Everyone looks so happy!

20

The Assembly and What Wasn't Said

by metatron in

jw
friends

feel free to correct me but i am utterly unable to find any trace of the blood issue or mention of masturbation in the.

new book for kids released at the assembly.

it certainly deals with other issues that require instruction such as birthdays,.

dobby

Question -

Did the old Great Teacher book mention blood or masturbation? I don't have a copy anymore.

16

What will the future generations of JW's be like ? will there be any ?

by run dont walk in

jw
friends

it has been eluded to in a couple of other topics,.

let's face it the young generation of jw's are getting smaller and smaller, and very few "new ones" coming into the fold.. what will the watchtower's tactics be, to keep this farce going another 100 years let alone 10 years ???.

change 1914 to 1993 ????

dobby

My mother-in-law just got back from her convention. She said she had never seen a group like this before. She said everyone looks like they are getting up in age - she had never seen so many canes and walkers.

Unfortunately, the WT will always find a way to re-invent itself so I don't think it will go away that easily. BUT I do believe very few if any people who grew up as JW's will continue. There is just too much info out there and young people today are far more skeptical.

64

Did anything a householder said ever make an impression on you?

by Alleymom in

jw
friends

coming at this as a householder rather than an ex-jw, i'd love to hear from any of you about comments from householders that made an impression on you, back when you were active in the door-to-door work.

since the jw's first knocked at my door 13 years ago, i've done my best to give them something to think about every time they knock at my door.

i always introduce myself by name and try to get their names.

dobby

One of my last doors in service did.

I used to call on this lady as a "magazine route". She was German living in the U.S. and she would always take the magazines. However, she was never interested in the idea of a bible study. Every time I called on her she always seemd to be on the verge of saying something to me - it was the expression in her eyes - in hindsight I believe she felt sorry for me and probably knew more about the JW's then she let on. I liked her very much and always thought in the back of my mind that in different circumstances it would be nice to be her friend.

The last time I called on her I had just begun to tell folks I was pregnant with my son. My husband and I shared the good news with this lady. She smiled very kindly and said (I can't remember the exact words but something like this) "Congratulations. I think it's wonderful, but it's not surprising - it's the circle of life isn't it? It's part of the human experience since the beginning of time and you have taken your place in that process".

It was wierd because I suddenly saw myself as very small as part of the vast, moving, dying, living, loving, birthing mass of humanity from the present, past and future. Why did I think I was someone special? And why is my experience or lifetime any different than anyone else's? And finally what's wrong with just existing - living the best you can - why do we think we have to find "truth" in this ancient and mysterious human existence when no one before us has found it.