I always wanted to do volunteer work. The field ministry was so fulfilling, it just seemed like wasted time. I wanted to help in a more concrete way, but you would have been criticised for doing that, plus a lot of volunteer opportunities are associated with a church. I finally pushed myself to do it, 12 years after I left.
LisaRose
JoinedPosts by LisaRose
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28
What activity or dream did you put off till the New System?
by nochoice inafter reading the thread about jw kids getting gifts all year and not needing christmas, i thought about how i was told there would be plenty of toys in the new system.
i was told that on my birthday too.
and now i started thinking about all the things i justified suffering growing up as a kid, and then a teenager, and then an adult, because it would be better in the new system.
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You can get disfellowshipped for attempted suicide
by solomon inyep, you can face a judicial committee if you try to kill yourself.
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LisaRose
Wow, so loving, kick a person when they are down. It reminds me of my insurance company. My daughter, 20 years ago attempted suicide twice. My insurance wanted to pay only 50% of the emergency room costs on the second visit, I guess on the theory it was your own fault? Problem was, she was a minor and it' s not like I was not trying to prevent it. I fought it all the way, and won, in fact they changed the policy.
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the mess in the west continued
by Hortensia inwell, 60 or 70-car crash last night near siskiyou summit, due to ice on the road.
there's a traffic cam right about there, near holbrook, looks pretty bad tonight too.. heavy snow tonight and tomorrow, should be fun.
down to 16 degrees f. last night, pretty cold for a southern california gal who lives in norcal now.. have to take a pair of pliers out with me tomorrow, i have to turn a doohicky on the front wheels so i can use my 4wd, old-fashioned but very reliable vehicle.
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LisaRose
Yikes, I was planning to leave Saturday to drive up I5 ,from the Bay area to Washington State.
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51
Do Witnesses Ever Talk About Their Living Forever And Never Dying?
by minimus inmy 86 year old mother stopped believing she was going into paradise earth without dying first, about 10 years ago.
my aunt used to think she was going to make it through the great tribulation.
even a week before she died, she clung on to this fairy tale.. do you think jws believe they will never die at all and will, in their lifetime, be on a paradise earth to live forever?.
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LisaRose
It is pretty amazing to me that there are still those who were around in 75, who thought Armageddon was soon, very soon, who still think, yes, soon, very soon. As the saying goes, fool me once shame on you..........
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67
Mental health crisis in America-
by moshe ini found this mother's letter to be an eye opener--.
written by liza long, republished from the blue review.
friday's horrific national tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and six adults at sandy hook elementary school in newtown, connecticut -- has ignited a new discussion on violence in america.
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LisaRose
Mrs. Jones: A few years ago there was this young girl who was accepted into my dayghter's Girl Scout troop. I couldn't stand this girl, she had a smart mouth, a negative attitude, was very disrespectful at times (but for some reason not to me), and everything had to be about her. I thought she was just a spoiled brat until I met her mother on a camping weekend.
Mrs Jones, that was what my daughter was like. She would say ridiculous things, I know her teachers thought she was just spoiled and exaggerating things. The reality of her diagnosis was that she was living that crazy reality. If she said she wanted to die, she did, at least in that moment, It was not an exaggeration. Her outbursts of rage made it impossible for her to function or act normally, or see things in a balanced way. It is very much black or white thinking, you were either her best friend or her worst enemy, no middle ground for her, That is the nature of Borderline Personality Disorder. I absolutely could not react with any emotion, no matter what she said as that would just inflame the situation and make her worse. This was not easy to do. Once, she had a meltdown at school and it took me an hour to convince them that I was not abusing her, they called the police. I also got reported once because I refused to send her to another mental hospital after a suicide attempt. Her therapist, and the county agreed it wasn't needed, and in fact would hurt her, but the witch who did the evaluation said she had to go to the mental hospital, but since she worked for the mental hospital, I think she was biased. I took my daughter out of the emergency room and went home. They sent a cop out, he saw she was fine and did nothing, but this witch from the hospital called CPS (child protective services). They called and I got it straightened out. These are the things you go through if you have a mentally ill child.
I think a lot of teens and young adults have this butt go undiagnosed, they often end up on drugs or promiscuous, or a suicide. I know many teens are cutters (cut themselves with razors) these days, and that could be a sign of BPD. I read somewhere that the shooter had a personality disorder, but they didn't say which one.
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67
Mental health crisis in America-
by moshe ini found this mother's letter to be an eye opener--.
written by liza long, republished from the blue review.
friday's horrific national tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and six adults at sandy hook elementary school in newtown, connecticut -- has ignited a new discussion on violence in america.
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LisaRose
My daughter suffered from mental illness as a teen. She attempted suicide twice, and was hospitalized twice. The first hospitalization occurred when she became upset in school and used a screw to rip up her arm. The hospitalization was $6,000 per week twenty years ago. They did not diagnose her correctly and did no meaningful treatment. She began therapy, but a year later she attempted suicide and was hospitalized again. By then I knew it was pointless, but she was deemed a danger to herself and my choice was the county lockup or a private hospital. They kept her at county while I made arrangements. They locked her in the bathroom overnight, as she was so young and small and they couldn't protect her from the other patients. The second hospital was no better than the first.
She finally got better because I was lucky, wouldn't give up and had the insurance and money to pursue five years of therapy. Imagine if a family didn't have that, how it would turn out. She was eventually diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I do feel she could have killed someone under the right circumstances, she tried to choke me once. This experience gave me a unique insright into the mental health industry. For every school shooter, there are probably thousands who committ suicide, or become drug addicted, the most likely outcome for those with my daughter's diagnosis. There are not a lot of options out there for parents with mentally ill children, many hospitals are run for profit, not for the patient, and good therapists are expensive and hard to find. I am sure many children fall through the cracks.
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19
Meditation, your thoughts?
by besunny inhi everyone,the last couple of weeks i have been reading about meditation and have tried several times.one of the times i did a native american guided meditation and actually had a unusual experience, seeing a wolf and a man dressed in victorian clothing,of course i had my eyes closed but this was different then a dream,it wasn't scary or anything,i hope nobody thinks i'm nuts,,i was just wondering if anyone else has experience with this,,being a witness most of my life i have been checking out other forms of spirituality,and meditation has been around for thousands of years and seems beneficial to those that do it....thank you for your thoughts.
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LisaRose
I like that poppers, I will try that. One thing I forgot to mention is that meditation takes practice, the more you do it, the more effective it becomes.
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19
Meditation, your thoughts?
by besunny inhi everyone,the last couple of weeks i have been reading about meditation and have tried several times.one of the times i did a native american guided meditation and actually had a unusual experience, seeing a wolf and a man dressed in victorian clothing,of course i had my eyes closed but this was different then a dream,it wasn't scary or anything,i hope nobody thinks i'm nuts,,i was just wondering if anyone else has experience with this,,being a witness most of my life i have been checking out other forms of spirituality,and meditation has been around for thousands of years and seems beneficial to those that do it....thank you for your thoughts.
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LisaRose
I meditate, visualizations are not unusual when meditating, all you are doing is tapping in to your own subconscious mind. I find when I meditate, my dreams become more vivid and memorable. This is a good thing. Meditation helps you get in touch with your feelings , motivations and thought. As a JW, you are used to thinking and feeling what you are supposed to, per the Watchtower rules. We subvert our own thoughts, feelings and desires, which is a very unhealthy state. I think that is why so many JWs drink a lot. Meditation gradually gets you back in touch with your true self. The visualizations are actually a good sign.
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What rumors have you heard about yourself since leaving?
by donny ingood morning all,.
i have had the opportunity over the last couple of years to speak with a couple of jw's who had either attended the same congregation i did or were married to someone who to the same one.
for the record, i disassociated myself in 1992 due to being followed around by an elder or two who had heard that i had ray franz's "crisis of conscience" in my possession.
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LisaRose
It was said that I left my husband to marry a guy I knew in High school 28 years before........actually that part was true. It was not true that I was unfaithful while we were together. I was leaving anyway, and told my husband I wanted a divorce as soon as I realized it was even a remote possibility of a relationship. My ex was disfellowshipped, but his JW parents believed everything he said. I didn't care, I knew he was happy to have an excuse to blame me the divorce on me. Never mind the fact he couldn't keep a job, drank heavy and had zero interest in being a husband, it was all my fault. He even referred to me (to our children) as your mother the "word for a prostitute that rhymes with bore" . It didn't bother me, I was just glad to be rid of him, and my kids were adults and knew the truth. I have a great relationship with my kids, while they can hardly stand to be around him.
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60
SADNESS
by compound complex inshe wraps me in her cold embrace,.
a hold that will not let go .
.. i welcome her with half a heart, .
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LisaRose
Your poems are lovely, thanks for sharing. I think sometimes it's good to visit past hurts and disappointments, the act of writing about it is a kind of healing maybe, at least it is for me. I don't write poetry, or at least not much, but I journal.