Posts by LisaRose

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

LisaRose

As to the memorial, the only important thing to remember is NOT TO drink the wine or eat the bread. It's a major faux pas, as this is a privilege for only a few people who believe they are in a special group of 144,000 people who will go to heaven. Everybody else will live the earth, so they are supposed to simply pass the wine and bread around while not drinking it. It's their only real celebration all year, so people tend to get dressed up a bit more, but other than that it's as boring as the other meetings. It opens with a prayer and song, there is a talk, which emphasizes that you SHOULD NOT drink the wine or eat the bread. Then there is a prayer over the wine, then it gets passed around so most can refuse it. Everyone tries to see if anyone actually does drink the wine, so they can gossip about them and speculate on their mental health. This is because the religion taught for years that the number of the 144,000 were all ready picked, but they keep getting more partakers so after various other explanations, they started hinting that those people have mental issues. The same thing happens with the bread, then another song and prayer and the ritual refusal to celebrate the sacrifice of Jesus is over.

I think you should go, as it's an insight into how irrational the religion is, but do go to a regular meeting as well, it will help you better understand why your wife is the way she is.

34

ABCNews Nightline: Segment on JW absuse cases here......

by WingCommander in

jw
friends

here is the segment on the conti abuse case in california and jehovah's witness's response as reported on by the abcnews nightline broadcast which was shown early this morning.

it really displays some absolutely shocking behavior from not only her abuser and his (supportive) wife, but also the jw attorneys and elders via video.

i am just blown away by the audacity displayed by these monsters.. we can now understand why governing body member stephen lett slipped in his comments a couple of weeks ago about "untrue reports of child abuse" in one of his talks which can viewed on the cult's website.

LisaRose

Wow. What kind of a woman would stay with a man who molested her grandchild? Shameful and disgusting, and that from people who claim to be Christian.

35

Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.

by BU2B in

jw
friends

i wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.

i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.

if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.

LisaRose

My mother was the same way. I was never a good enough JW to suit her, it actually was a bit of relief that she shunned me towards the end of her life. I believe she loved me in her own way, but she was too brainwashed to ever really accept me as I was and that was her loss. It was sad, but her choice. Sometimes peace comes with accepting that things are what they are. I looked at it the same as if she was mentally ill and so not quite responsible for what she said, which I think is true to a certain extent.

5

Socially awkward

by tamagotchi in

jw
friends

growing up a jw has made me some what socially awkward.

i would often push people away due to my weird traits.

this was made worse by surrounding myself with certain people within the congregation who didn't have my best interest at heart, who now i know where trying to bring me down, this has invoked in me trust issues with people i meet.

LisaRose

Yes, I think many of us have these issues. I think it's partially due to that fact that being in a high control religion makes social interactions very different. You are in a group that all believes the same things and conforms to the same schedule of meetings and field service. It means it's quite easy to have many acquaintes, but sometimes harder to find real friends. It also means you cannot be your true and honest self if that self deviates in any way from the expected.

Of course we are all unique individuals, but it can mean we don't quite know how to interact with those outside the organization, especially when we first leave. This is compounded if you have a more introverted nature.

The solution is to just get on with it, the more you do it the easier it gets. Social awkwardness usually stems from being very self aware and being afraid that others will judge you. The more you worry, the more you are likely to do something wrong, which just makes things worse. Somebody once said that you shouldn't really care what people think about you, because they aren't really thinking about you that much. Most people just think about themselves mostly. The huge social blunder that seems so huge to you is probably just a minor blip to everyone else, by the next day they won't remember it.

It does get easier as you get older and are exposed to more social situations and different people. People do like to talk about themselves, so asking questions (nothing to personal though) is always a good strategy and takes the focus off of you. When all else fails, talk about the weather.

25

Cheers to all! I'm in the house now! Finally signed up.

by Lifeisfun in

hi readers and lurkers, .

i decided it was time to register to the site.

after all these years, it was just a matter of time.

LisaRose

Welcome. You should probably start developing friends and interests outside of the organization, if you haven't done so already. You have not been officially diafellowshipped, but that could change at any time. Even when you know tatt it can be hard to be shunned. Your thinking is probably still influenced by the Watchtower to a certain extent, it takes years to undo the effects of being in a cult. don't be surprised if you have conflicting emotions at times, it will pass.

You have a great life ahead of you, free of the manipulations and deceptions, enjoy!

10

I received my acceptance letter into Nursing School.

by adjusted knowledge in

jw
friends

i've been actively pursuing a career change for quite a few years.

i've applied for nursing programs at several local public colleges.

the competition is high for this limited access program.

LisaRose

Well done! My husband and I attended a pinning ceremony last year for a friend of ours, we were very impressed with what the candidates went through to complete the program, there is a reason you must compete to get in. Its also a rewarding career with good job security with us baby boomers getting old right now.

30

Just Want To Be Heard

by dubstepped in

i've been lurking here for a while now, and i guess you could call me a fader.

i don't have hate in my heart for the organization that i spent most of my life in, but i have had an awakening.

luckily, so has my wife, and that way i don't feel so alone.

LisaRose

Welcome, glad you have found freedom from this religion and are testing your wings. It's a process, don't feel you have to rush it or make decisions about anything at this point, it does takes time. You will probably have a few ups and downs and conflicting emotions about things, it's a huge change, but things will get better.

If you still believe in God that's OK too, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You may change your mind eventually, but that is your spiritual path to follow. Don't feel you have to have all the answers right now, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and hang in there.

18

A coming out story to my mother.

by JennyBoo in

so i actually came out to my mother a few days ago.

told her how i really felt about being a jw (jehovah's witness) and how i wasn't straight.

i wasn't surprised by the disapproving response i got because really, i wasn't expecting any more.

LisaRose

Good for you for standing up for yourself. Obviously a believing JW is never going to be happy that their child is gay, so I guess the best you can do is to agree to disagree about it. It's sad, because it probably means that you will not be as close, so she will miss out on sharing important moments with you, but that's on her.

59

How to wake up and reverse the trance???

by J-DUBBED in

how do you wake up someone taken from us by these screwed up people?.

our son was hooked by a jw at the age of 25. within 3 months they were married and we never even new about it.

he is now 29 and has nothing to do with his family(except his sister the odd time, when he needs something) of any freinds.. we are lost and have been for four years.. .

LisaRose

Well, I think DOC has a point, although he might have stated it more tactfully. If you want to have a chance of enlightening your son you will not accomplish it by alienating his wife, that will just cause to then to refuse to talk to you. You also will not win by attacking his chosen religion. Part of the cult mind control is a warning that Satan will use their non JW family to test them. When that inevitably happens, it just confirms to them that the JWs are right.

The only chance you have is to feign interest, then raise questions that they cannot easily answer, or that causes them to think. The religion uses third grade logic and questionable reasoning, it doesn't hold up under scrutiny. You must educate yourself about how mind control works. You could say a friend told you the Watchtower has predicted the end several times, for example. He has probably not been told this. Of course, they have an answer for everything, but you might be able to plant a seed of doubt.

19

"in" Family driving me crazy on social media

by freemindfade in

does any other fader who maintains a minimal connection to preserve family ties have this issue:.

i post something on ig, facebook whatever.

and from my super zealous family i get preachy posts.

LisaRose

You can control who sees individual posts. I have one list that includes everyone and one that is everyone but JW relatives. if it's anything they might object to, like holidays, then I exclude them.