It's hard to come to terms with the fact that you've been a victim of manipulation and mind-control for so long. I feel very guilty that I have had a big part in teaching it from the platform too.
We have all been there, the anger, the guilt, feeling like a fool. Don't let the guilt get to you though, it's not your fault you were lied to and manipulated. I think it was Maya Angelou that said "you did the best you knew how to do a the time, when you knew better you did better". Well, now you know better.
It was not easy being a JW, you had to learn self discipline and develop other good qualities that will be useful to you in your new life. You will now have the freedom to make your own choices, free of the burdensome requirements of this religion. Don't feel bad about the wasted years in service to a cult, be grateful that you won't waste any more.