I think a break sounds like a good idea right now. It's a lot to take in, isn't it? It will take time, but it's worth it.
As far as apostate literature, I never understood why the Watch tower was so afraid of differing viewpoints. Truth should stand up to scrutiny, right? Now I know why they were so afraid, they don't have the truth and so much of the beliefs just don't stand up.
Just remember than things are not true because we want them to be, or need them to be, or we invested our time, or missed opportunities. I was in for thirty two years from thirteen to forty five. It was hard to start over, but now I am glad I did.