I'm my favorite type of JW - Double Life

by thedepressedsoul 51 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • thedepressedsoul
    thedepressedsoul

    The borg's tactics on most JW work. They put fear into their mind, they guilt trip them and basically make them scared to do anything when they are away from the Kingdom Hall. It allows them to control every aspect of their life. Through guilt and fear they are able to control what they do, what they watch, who they talk to and a majority of their life affairs.

    I'm the type of JW, the one they probably actually fear more than apostates. I'm the type that can site through their talks, read their magazines and not feel one ounce of guilt or fear. It could be a whole Watchtower study on entertainment, what we should and shouldn't watch. I could comment on that Watchtower, give a talk on it and even talk to the "friends" after the meeting about it. Then, I could go home and watch anything I wanted without an ounce of guilt. It's a cool feeling of freedom.

    Even in the congregation this allows me to discreetly put bits of information into publishers ears that can help them "awake".

    I know I'm not the only type like this. We can act like we're all on board and yet live the life that we want to. They refer to us as the "double life". Again that saying puts fear and guilt on those that may be doing it. For those like me though, it doesn't do a thing.

    It puts us in a better position then those of being an "apostate" as we can still plant seeds of doubt in peoples mind.

    I'm not sure why but for some reason it makes me feel better than if I just straight up left. There is something about the feeling of hearing their crap and rules beyond the bible and then being able to go home and do as I please.

    Maybe I'm crazy but it honestly makes me feel good "living a double life". I also think it may be my brains way of wanting to be free.

  • sir82
    sir82

    I'd venture to say that well over half of JWs engage in some form of activity that, if known, would get them DF'ed.

    Primarily drunkenness and "fornication", but there's a good bit of porn, drugs, and shady business dealings as well.

  • OneEyedJoe
    OneEyedJoe

    I hate to break it to ya, but you're definitely an apostate by their definition. Just because you're still going through the motions doesn't make it not so.

    How long have you been doing it, if I could ask? I was able to do it for a while, trying to plant seeds in my wife, but over the last year it's slowly ramped up to the point where I'll do just about anything not to go to anything cult related.

  • thedepressedsoul
    thedepressedsoul

    Sir not to mention entertainment. I've heard a quite a few JW tell me stuff they've watched and I've been shocked.

    I think porn is the #1 though.

    I think most though do feel very guilty, how could they not? It's stuffed into their head at every meeting. That's the difference though.

  • thedepressedsoul
    thedepressedsoul

    Oneeted, about 16+ years. I will say though, conventions and assemblies are getting very very hard. Holy crap are they long! I also never said I wasn't an apostate. But most apostates leave because they can't take it. I fall more in line with the "double life" category.

    Service is also getting harder. More than 2 hours and I want to jump off a bridge.

    Have you guys ever heard anyone call meetings or assemblies "fun"? I have never witnessed one ounce of fun at them.

  • OrphanCrow
    OrphanCrow
    depressedsoul: Maybe I'm crazy but it honestly makes me feel good "living a double life". I also think it may be my brains way of wanting to be free.

    Ah. It sounds like you have finely tuned and justified your cognitive dissonance. Congratulations.

  • tiki
    tiki
    sorry......but the word hypocrite comes to mind............
  • _Morpheus
    _Morpheus
    I get it. I lived that life for a good while and felt the same....but it took a toll. It only gets harder
  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe
    I'm glad you're not depressed anymore, a big symptom of that is guilt. So well done recovering. Sixteen years though? Are you trying to get a very very big family out?
  • thedepressedsoul
    thedepressedsoul

    tiki - You're right, I don't mind though. I'm use to hearing that word in JW talks exactly like you just put it.

    I also feel hypocrisy is needed/required when getting out of or dealing with this religion. If you're not willing to accept that, it's going to be a lot harder. Also, the only reason hypocrisy is viewed as a bad thing is because that's what we were raised to believe and how society views it. I tend to go outside the box.

    Xanthippe - No I'm not. Just not ready to 100% leave yet. In time I will though. Like all moves I make, they're well calculated, planned and patiently executed. I view life like a chess board.

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