Posts by LisaRose

28

JW ended a relationship with me

by V1922 in

my jw boyfriend just ended a year and a half relationship with me.

it came out the blue and i'm deeply hurt by this because we were so compatible.

he did it right before the big annual gathering he is presently attending.

LisaRose

Many Jehovah's Witnesses are nice, as then tend to attract honest hearted people looking for a better life. Unfortunately they have been manipulated using cult mind control. Before you get further involved you owe it to yourself to learn more about the religion and cults and how they work. I suggest JW facts.com and howcultswork.com as a starting point.

The Watchtower Bible and Tract society, the legal entity behind Jehovah's Witnesses, is very dishonest about their history and practices. They have predicted the end of the world numerous times, most notably in 1914 and 1975. They then pretend they never predicted any such thing. JWs are told to not trust any source but them, they are especially told not to talk to former members, as we are "mentally diseased apostates". Our crime is not believing the Watchtower is God's only channel of communication for mankind, or doing things most people consider normal, like voting, saluting the flag or celebrating Christmas. We all have family and friends who will not talk to us because we left the religion.

We frequently see people post here in similar situations to you. JWs may leave the group and do things they are my allowed to while in the religion. They may fall in love and get married outside the religion. Unfortunately they often start feeling guilty and/or miss their family and friends and so go back as your boyfriend has. This is very hard on their marriage or relationship.

If you get married and have children, how will you feel about them being raised in the religion and not allowed to celebrate birthdays and Christmas? How will you feel about him going to five hours of services every week plus going out in the door to door work every Saturday? Every JW has an obligation to do these things. How will you feel about your spouse refusing a blood transfusion for himself or your children? What if you break up and he convinces your children to join the group? Marriage is hard enough without all these complicating factors, so think about what that might mean for you.

I know it must be heart breaking to have this happen, but be very careful before proceeding with a relationship with this man. Make sure you understand what you are getting into.

19

This generation revisited.

by Bigdummy in

it's 1:30 am and i'm wide awake again as usual.

i was doing a little bible reading yesterday and.

came across luke 11:29 where jesus states " when the crowds were increasing, he began to say,.

LisaRose

Manipulating people by predicting doom is hard. You have to walk a fine line between making people believe the end is really soon (so you think you need them to save you) and actually predicting a specific date, which inevitably proves you are just making things up. The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is pretty good at this, and why not, they have been doing it for over a hundred years. They lead people to make assumptions, then pretend it wasn't their fault that you made assumptions.

They have gotten away with it so far, but being a doomsday cult is not what it used to be The internet makes it hard to hide things and people are just not as gullible as they used to be. The generation teaching is a weak point for them. They have redefined it to the point of being absurd. People buy it, sort of, because they don't have much choice, but it has to be a question mark for a lot of people, they may not leave right now, but they may start to be less invested in the religion, miss some meetings, skip field service more and contribute less.

63

Is Watchtower imploding? 10 reasons why the end could be nigh

by WildeLover in

http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/is-watchtower-imploding-10-reasons-why-the-end-could-be-nigh.

i dont know how to hyperlink the link above,.

it's a link to an article by cedars on the possibility of the wt imploding?.

LisaRose

I wish we were as diabolical and organized as the Watchtower pretends we are. If we actually were "mentally diseased apostates" we would be able to take advantage of the latest developments to hit them while they are struggling.

10

Is there new light on Yoga

by Watchtower-Free in

.

LisaRose

Next thing you know he'll be puttin' on a pair of them spanx.

34

Witnesses and anxiety disorder

by mana11 in

i saw this on a public user group for jw's .

the librarian [email protected].

the caption reads:.

LisaRose

how about fibro myalgia ? i know several female ex jws who have it--yet i dont know anyone else who has. i'd never heard of it before.

It's pretty common even among non JWs, but I do think JWs are more prone. I have it since my JWs days so unfortunately I have had to think a lot about how it happened. Fibromyalgia is believed to be a problem with the pain signals in the brain. It can be caused by stress and overuse of the muscles, but other than that no one really knows. Men do get fibro, but it is more common than women.

I believe it's a combination of my inborn personality (sensitive and introverted) plus the guilt inducing effects of the cult (never good enough) plus some traumatic life events (child suicide attempts, near death of spouse) plus physical trauma (car accident), plus stressful job, plus social isolation (disfellowshipped husband) . The result is fibromyalgia, widespread pain and muscle soreness. Lack of adequate sleep is believed to be a factor, you can produce symptoms simply by depriving people of sleep. There are tender spots in various places on the body, fibromyalgia is diagnosed when there is pain in at least nine of the eighteen potential points, which are in the same spots for everyone. Sometimes there is a visible lump in the points.

As some others have pointed out, women in the organization have no power and little status.There is a psychological price in the high expectations of the JW life, especially when there is little support or respect. You are either killing yourself trying to meet these expectations or you are feeling guilty about it because you didn't, then when you do get fibromyalgia people usually just think you are faking, because you don't look sick. I have heard many here express the belief that women just make this up to get out of going to meetings. That attitude just adds to your stress and make things worse, it becomes a vicious cycle. The fatigue and pain can be debilitating.

I knew of a case in my congregation. She was the much loved eldest daughter ( I used to think of her as the princess, dad was an elder and she was a pioneer.) She got married and they both were accepted at Bethel. Having read many accounts of Bethel life here I can only imagine that it was a huge culture shock in going from pioneer princess to a status of "lower than whale poop in the Marianas trench" only accepted because they wanted her husband. The petty jealousy and abuse that gets meted out to new ones would be hard to take. She worked in the laundry folding clothes, something that would be a problem for anyone prone to this, the respective motion alone could cause it. Within a year she got fibromyalgia, she was in her early twenties.

34

Witnesses and anxiety disorder

by mana11 in

i saw this on a public user group for jw's .

the librarian [email protected].

the caption reads:.

LisaRose

A high number of them have all manner of illnesses--both physical and mental----that i had never heard of before. coincidence =-or what ?

I will assume you meant that in a sympathetic way, not that all ex JW women are crazy or sick.

I will say that being a JW did take a toll on me both physically and mentally.The constant stress did cause some problems, things that I will probably deal with the rest of my life. I have been out for fifteen years and mentally I am fine, physically not so much.

I think men are affected just as much, but maybe in express it in different ways. Some have anger issues, some have substance abuse issues.

82

Do you remember the 15 minute break at the Sun. meeting?

by 3rdgen in

a poster on another thread reminded me of when there was a 15 min.

break between the talk and the wt study on sundays.

the break was supposed to be to allow jw's time to drive their bible studys home from the talk.

LisaRose

That sounds about right, possibly sooner. I think thry got rid of it to stop people from escaping at the break. It was a mixed bag, as it was a break from the monotony of the meetings, but then you were forced to talk to people whether you wanted to or not. Did they then shorten the meeting by fifteen minutes or just fill it up with more meeting? I can't remember.

28

JW ended a relationship with me

by V1922 in

my jw boyfriend just ended a year and a half relationship with me.

it came out the blue and i'm deeply hurt by this because we were so compatible.

he did it right before the big annual gathering he is presently attending.

LisaRose

I am sorry this idiot treated you like that. It's a cult. Your boyfriend is being manipulated by a cult. They believe they are the only true religion and that the world is ending soon and anyone that is not a JW will die. They practice shunning and anyone who engages in sex outside of marriage can be disfellowshipped and shunned. This creates havoc in the life of anyone that gets involved with a JW. They may have fun outside of their rules, but inevitably they feel guilty and go back or get caught.

As hurtful as this is, you are probably better off without him. Unless you were to convert he will probably not want to marry you and you do not want to convert, trust us on that. Your boyfriend does not know it's a cult and will probably deny that it could be, so chances of him leaving are not good. The Watchtower would always be the third wheel in the relationship.

Anyway, if he dumped one girlfriend for you he would probably have eventually dumped you for someone else, so he was probably not the one for you anyway. You would probably be better off with someone that does not have all this baggage.

35

DOES BELIEF IN THE BIBLE DESTROY ONE'S INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY?

by TerryWalstrom in

based on information to be found at: http://www.csicop.org/si/show/when_dont_the_highly_educated_believe_in_evolution_the_bible_believers_effe/.

the bible-believers effect.

those who believe the bible is the word of god (bible believers) and those who dont believe the bible is the word of god (bible nonbelievers) differ in their beliefs that humans evolved from earlier species of animals.

LisaRose

I think people like the black and white answers that are part of a religious belief system. It means they don't have to think or worry about things, they just accept what they are told, then they don't have to think about it. Anything that challenges their belief system is dismissed out of hand because that's the easier thing to do. It's mental laziness.

34

Witnesses and anxiety disorder

by mana11 in

i saw this on a public user group for jw's .

the librarian [email protected].

the caption reads:.

LisaRose

Thank you Sail Away. My daughter had some serious mental health problems as a teen that included two suicide attempts. I was still marginally in the religion at the time but I never had her talk to the elders and she got therapy for five years. We all made it through and she is doing great now, happily married, a mom and she has a really great job. It could easily have ended otherwise so I feel very fortunate.

I meditate also, it's been very helpful. I have pain issues and it helps me manage that as well as my ADHD. I am like a broken record here urging people to give it a try, especially if they are still struggling with JW issues, but it really does work. It takes very little time, costs nothing and has been proven to reduce stress, lower blood pressure and help with anxiety and depression. I am 60 and have a family history of high blood pressure, it used to be 140 or more, but since I began meditating daily it went down to 110 to 120.