Have you considered counseling? If not with the two of you, then by yourself. You need to improve the communication between the two of you. If you love her, then you should fight for your marriage. The bible says that a wife should stay with her unbelieving mate. She can't have it both ways, either she is a good JW and obeys all the scriptures, or she isn't a good JW in which case she has no reason to shun you. Of course you cannot force her to love you, but the way you are right now is no way to live, you both need to figure this out one way or another.
LisaRose
JoinedPosts by LisaRose
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61
Stranger in my own house, Since my wife and i don't talk much anymore nor sleep in the same bed. i feel like a stranger.
by goingthruthemotions inmy wife is shunning me.
she is always in cult mode, we don't talk anymore, we don't sleep in the same bed.
i have been sleeping on the couch.
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Double Standards in the JW world
by nevaagain inno other organization has so many written and unwritten rules like the jws.
so it comes to no suprise that there are a lot of double standards.. even though the end is "near", wt is building new and bigger offices.
while the small jw should live in a closet and should make plans to have a bigger house in the new world.
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LisaRose
The Watchtower is the master of the double standard.
We hate child abuse! (but we don't call the authorities unless it's required by law).
A person who sexually abused children would never be appointed an elder! (well, hardly ever, just under certain circumstances, like a whole year passed since he got caught, or we really need elders, or no one found out about it, or....)
We never pass the collection plate, because God loves a cheerful giver! (but we send multiple request for donations in a month and forced congregations to pony up all their cash).
We value honesty in all things, going so far as to disfellowship chronic liars! (but we use 'theocratic warfare' and lie about our history, beliefs and practices).
The United Nations is the scarlet colored beast as spoken of in Revelations, it's existence is an affront to god! (but we secretly joined it, then lied about the reason).
Families are very important to us! (but we break them up with our harsh disfellowshipping policies).
We care about our young people! (But we have the lowest retention rate of any religion).
We don't allow gossip (unless it's done by the elders of course).
Our congregations are a spiritual paradise ! (but don't ask us about the suicides and depression rates).
Jehovah is a happy God! (But he is really, really hard to please, mess up and you die at the big A).
Preaching the good news about God's kingdom is the most important thing we do! (But most of the hours reported are either exaggerated, completely faked or spent on aimless driving around and coffee breaks.
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We missed you at the meetings
by punkofnice ina vomit inducing comment.. i asked why do they have to specify 'meetings'?
they never miss us in tesco or the showcase cinema bar.. in their defence, a friend of mine said: 'that's because the meeting is where they normally would see you.'.
well, if they want to see you they can arrange a meal out or something.
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LisaRose
I guess it's better than not saying anything, but it really is an implied criticism, it's about what they are NOT saying.
We miss you at the meetings *loser*.
We miss you at the meetings *what the hell is wrong with you?*.
We miss you at the meetings *get your act together, then we can be friends again*.
I briefly attended a liberal church. It was interesting that those who were sick or feeling down were greatly missed and talked about at every service, they would arrange for dinner to be supplied or a visit. There wasn't a hint of any judgment for them missing services, just concern. I thought, well this is what normal people do, it's a support system, which is what church should be.
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Interesting day yesterday
by LisaRose ini have started walking every morning for twenty or thirty minutes.
so yesterday i had to work and almost didn't go, but decided to get in a quick ten minute walk.
i don't usually take my phone, but decided to take it, and i was so glad i did because a block from my house i came upon an older chinese man face down on the sidewalk and bleeding profusely from his mouth/face.
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LisaRose
I have started walking every morning for twenty or thirty minutes. So yesterday I had to work and almost didn't go, but decided to get in a quick ten minute walk. I don't usually take my phone, but decided to take it, and I was so glad I did because a block from my house I came upon an older Chinese man face down on the sidewalk and bleeding profusely from his mouth/face. It was kind of unreal, at first I thought it might be a Halloween decoration, our neighborhood goes all out for decorations, but it was real.
He was quite dazed, and didn't speak English, but he nodded when I asked if he wanted me to call 911. While we were waiting for the paramedics he was able to tell me a phone number and I held the phone so he could talk to his family. They got there shortly after the paramedics and so could translate. Apparently he tripped and fell, hurting his hands and face. They thought he was going to be OK, but advised him to go to the hospital.
I will never go on a walk without my phone again, you just never know what could happen, next time it could be me on the ground.
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Tough Day & wanting to escape
by Olivia Wilde inso today after my workout at the gym, i was driving away from the parking lot, notice 2 witnesses on the sidewalk with their witness cart, one older man with a young female, related?
not sure but as i drove away it finally hit me, all this buildup & staying strong since my awakening finally hit me .... just crying & saw my life flashing before my eyes just couldn't keep myself strong anymore, especially thinking of my child & other things happening in my life currently, which are hitting reality...... i came home & had a conversation with my son about our weekly mtgs, we have missed the ms mtgs for a few times/days in a row now, does anyone check on us?
... anyway i finally told him that for the time being mommy needs to figure out some things with god & jesus first & for the time being won't be making the ms mtgs & will be doing our bible study at home... thankfully he understands & just told him that god understands how i feel & is ok with it.... it's difficult to feel alone in this, i feel broken with the other things happening in my life, not wt or jw related, & just want to escape & run away, i don't have many friends & my non jw family is not a close family, we were never close, & i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to.... people that know me & interact with me have no clue the turmoil i'm going thru inside, i pretend like nothing is wrong with my life .
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LisaRose
I am so sorry you are going through this right now and have no one to talk to. Don't forget we all are here, but do you not have anyone at all? Keeping a stiff upper lip is fine, sometimes you have to do that to get through, but we all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes. Perhaps you could start looking for somebody in your life you could promote to friend status?
I work from my home and it can get lonely sometimes, so I force myself to get out and talk to people, I know I need that to stay mentally healthy.
Feel free to PM me anytime. I check in several times a day.
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13
I still get emotional about the "truth" .....even though I know it's all lies...what is wrong with me????
by Witness 007 inmy mum is doing kemo and i have gone to many meetings at my old hall and brothers have said how they remember my old talks how good they were (ass kiss) and i still feel emotional even though i know 100% it is lies, funny human mind did i do it all for personal pats on the back and self esteem....yes i did i was a loser who needed some luv.
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LisaRose
I get it, I really do. There is emotion there, no matter that most of it makes no sense, things are never that cut and dried. -
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Nice moment today
by Theburstbubble inso it's been a few months since i last went to a meeting but i've still had lots of guilty feelings about leaving, such as am i doing the right thing, thinking about friends and family, where do i go from here etc etc.
but i think once you stop believing you can't go back.. anyway, today i had a very nice experience.
my daughter had been to nursery today and when she got home i asked her what she had done and she excitedly told me they had been doing pumpkins.
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LisaRose
These simple little pleasures in life are actually a big thing when you have not been able to enjoy them for many years.
I am looking forward to halloween. Our neighborhood has gotten a reputation as the place to go for trick or treating, so we get about 600 trick or treaters, it's major. My husband and I decided to just go with it, we decorate and dress up, this year we are going to be minions.
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Another anti-gay Republican Senator (in the USA) caught advertising his body
by fulltimestudent inlink.
why do the republicans seem to have a monopoly on this behaviour?.
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LisaRose
I don't hate gays for who they are but I hate having their lifestyle forced in my face. I believe this sentiment reflects most who oppose gay marriage and the like.
What do you mean by "having their lifestyle forced in my face"? Does it bother you if two gay guys hold hands? If so, why? How is that forcing their lifestyle on to you? Or does the mere fact that they exist and can get married bother you? I do get why some people are uncomfortable with it, this is a huge societal change in a fairly short time frame, but really, do you honestly expect gay people to go back in the closet? Pretend they aren't gay? Not hold hands in public?
Do you feel it's ok to hold hands with your wife? If so, do you think you are forcing your heterosexual lifestyle on them?
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No longer wanting to attend meetings
by breezy inhello everyone.. first post here.
long time follower of this website, probably 4 years now.
i've known about ttatt since ive been 18, im now 22 going on 23 but still go to meetings because of parents.
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LisaRose
Welcome, glad you found us.
It's always hard make your own decisions when you are still living with your parents. Perhaps it is time to start working towards getting out on your own? I know it's hard these days, but if you want to live your life on your own terms it helps if you are fully supporting yourself.
Otherwise, just keep politely refusing to go to the meetings, there is little they can do to force you, hopefully they will eventually accept your decision.
Lisa 🌹
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Hello from Orange County!
by Ghiagirl inwould love to see if any users are from orange county area??
been around newport beach, laguna beach, and costa mesa for the last 12 years!!
been hesitant on posting my area, but i have nothing to hide my family, as well as my husbands know where we stand.
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LisaRose
Not from there, but hello. I lived in Ventura a long time ago so I'm familiar with the area.