Posts by LisaRose

YOU are a very special Feeler/Perceiver. Of course there is much more to personality types, and each type has its strengths and weaknesses. The data only suggests correlations over large populations. If the survey had been taken 15,000 years ago, the Feeler/Perceivers would have ruled!!!!I

Actually I am fairly close to the middle when it comes to feeler/thinker. But I don't agree that being a feeler makes you necessarily unable to use logic, nor are people who are very far to the thinking side make better decisions in my experience, and I have known a few. At the very least, their extreme lack of attention to the feelings of others make them very difficult to work with. I worked with an ISTJ who was extreme in all four qualities. Her communication skills were terrible and she sometimes missed huge red flags because she was so focused on productivity, she didn't see the forest for the trees. She was also pretty annoying to be around.

But most people are not extremely one side or the other, and I believe the ideal is to use the thinking side of your brain when it's required, but to temper that with attention to emotions, when that is needed. I do think feelers can learn to be more logical, and thinkers can learn some emotional intelligence and culture and education can have a big influence.

I do think there will always be a place for feelers, even as the world skews towards and rewards more rational types. Even if religion fades away, and I think it will, we still need artists, musicians and healers, and I think we feelers will always be drawn to those professions.

51

Why facts fail to reach the faithful, (even the intelligent ones)

by done4good in

jw
friends

i posted this on another thread, and decided it deserves its own...thoughts?.

an unfortunate artifact of evolution is that belief can, and often does trump fact.

survival is at the core of what belief is about.

LisaRose

Heeyyyy, don't knock us feelers DJS, we have our uses, lol.

But even I don't get fisherman's points. Like just because someone write down that a horse talked thousands of years ago it must be true and that is evidence of God? Come on. How many JWs believe they have experienced demonic activity, when even what happened was quite easily explained by a more rational person? Sadly, people are quite easily fooled.

People believe what they want to believe, what fits their need to believe, they don't let pesky facts get in the way, that's why logic on its own will never convince a believer.

23

Where do I start telling a psychologist about the mental trauma I feel as a fading jw?

by Simple Minds in

i am on a pension, so i could not afford to pay for a psychologist, but my good doctor referred me to a free clinic for people on a low income, for my anxiety and depression, so i have finally got my first appointment with a psychologist since i started my fade, so where do i start trying to explain the mental trauma i feel as a fading jw?

i would appreciate your advice.

simple .

LisaRose

I also recommend two things for dealing with difficult emotions, journaling and meditation. Sitting down every day to write a few pages can be very helpful. It doesn't matter what you write, just write. If you do this consistently it will help you start getting your thoughts up and out. This will make it easier when you do sit down with a therapist. Years of being a JW makes it almost automatic to bottle up your thoughts and feelings, that takes time to undo, journaling will speed up the process and make your therapy more productive.

Meditation is very helpful in dealing with negative emotions, it has proven health benefits and has been life changing for me. It costs nothing and only takes a few minutes a day.

30

Control - Whose worse, the JWs or the traditional churches?

by fulltimestudent in

jw
friends

we once experienced, the "you'll die at armegeddon," fear instilled into us as jw's.. was that worse or better than the fear of eternal torment instilled by more conventional religions?.

john spong gives his view.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkah3hemv3m.

LisaRose

Granted, the hell fire doctrine is abhorrent, but to me there is a big difference between teaching that something bad will happen to you when you die and teaching that at any time (and soon) God is going to destroy the vast majority of the world's population. And salvation for churches happens based on belief in Jesus Christ, where the Watchtower teaches that you must be "whole souled", which means basically that you must do everything they say or you don't have a chance. It's just a whole different level of ugliness.

23

Where do I start telling a psychologist about the mental trauma I feel as a fading jw?

by Simple Minds in

i am on a pension, so i could not afford to pay for a psychologist, but my good doctor referred me to a free clinic for people on a low income, for my anxiety and depression, so i have finally got my first appointment with a psychologist since i started my fade, so where do i start trying to explain the mental trauma i feel as a fading jw?

i would appreciate your advice.

simple .

LisaRose

It's important that you tell them that you were in a cult. Most psychologists don't know much about cults, and fewer know that the JWs are a cult. I recommend reading Combating Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan, as he gives a few tips on what to tell mental health professionals about your cult experience.

42

Something isnt quite right.

by atomant in

jw
friends

l was wondering if others get the feeling that the world we live in seems not quite right.l can not pin point anything specific but since childhood days l often get the feeling something isn;t correct.you know the feeling of deja vu.

am l the only one to feel this way?ld love to hear from others and any storys they may have.having been raised in the jdubs maybe lm just suffering mild bouts of paranoia .

LisaRose

I think some people just have a natural tendency to be more sensitive to the evil that exists in the world, It can be hard sometimes not to become convinced that it's hopeless and of course some of us are just more naturally pessimistic. Religious groups like the JWs use that to manipulate you. When all seems bleak it can be tempting to believe that God is going to fix everything and all you have to do is to give up your autonomy and do everything they say. When you find out the Watchtower lied about so much it can be hard, because the comfort of believing there is a plan is suddenly taken away.

Unfortunately there is no easy answer, no quick fix and anyone saying otherwise is lying. But it doesn't mean it's hopeless, it just means you have to find a way to go on without the false sense of security provided by the religion. There is good in the world, and things are not as bad as you would think if all you do is read the news. There are no headlines that say "crime rates go down" or " not as many people went hungry last year".

We all make choices every day about what to focus on and what to do with our lives. You can choose to focus on the evil in the world while doing nothing about it, or you can choose to focus on the positive, while at the same time doing what you reasonably can to make the world a better place for you having been in it, it's entirely up to you.

The JWs tend to focus on the bad, because it validates their belief that everything is hopeless and that we need God to fix everything. Especially if you tend towards such negativity and black and white thinking in the first place , that habit can be hard to overcome. Constantly reading bad news is like a junk food diet for the mind, it's not healthy. But you can choose to focus on more positive things. Maybe you stop watching the news for a while, or at least cut back. Maybe instead you seek out things that have a more positive spin. It's important also to value friendships and family relationships, because those bonds will help you combat negativity.

Instead of thinking about how bad the world is, take some small step every day to make it less so. Do things fit in with your values, or that address concerns you have. I am concerned with the environment, so I try to do things that reflect that. I actually have a business turning reclaimed wood into vintage style signs, turning unwanted junk into something useful. I compost, turning my kitchen scraps and yard waste into garden amendments, reducing the need for fertilizer. I reduce, reuse and recycle whenever possible. I know that my actions are a drop in the bucket, that there has to be a massive shift in the world if we are to stop greenhouse gas from altering the climate, but I do what I can, which is as all any one can do.

I also have a tendency to focus on the negative. I have found that regular physical exercise is really important to keep a positive mood. For those of us with a tendency to internalize, to dwell on problems, physical exercise is a way to turn that focus around, out towards action, other people, towards the positive not the negative. Finally, I also highly recommend meditation, as it has been life changing for me. Meditation has proven health benefits, lowers blood pressure and improves mood.Your sense of doom could be your mind trying to deal with your fears and unresolved emotions. Meditation is a way to deal with those feelings and help you see a way forward.

Lisa 🌹

24

Just handed in my Disassociation letter

by Thirteenth tribe in

tonight my dl was posted by hand by my husband (a worldly guy).

i had the luxury of being at work distracted whilst he posted it.

i have been baptised for just over 2 years and studied since 2010. i couldn't take it anymore, not just the zealous dislike/disgust for 'people in the world' (this includes my husband and 99% of my family btw) but the obvious.... the investigations into child sexual abuse.

LisaRose

Congratulations on seeing through the lies, you dodged a bullet.

Welcome to the rest of your life.

Lisa 🌹

18

Finding love as a witness

by RawrSaysTheLion in

hi i'm new.. i'm going on 2yrs as a baptized witness although i've just received a reproval on the grounds of living with a wordly man unmarried for 6 months.

long story short it ended messy and i ran straight back to the witnesses because i do love jehovah and i missed my family.

my issues were only with the actual organization.. i desperately want to find someone to share my world with but i feel like i'm too tainted to be loved by anyone worthy in the truth and my morals are to high to love another boy from the world.

LisaRose

You have painted yourself in a nice little corner haven't you?

You are making several incorrect assumptions and your black and white thinking is making you see very limited options.

I desperately want to find someone to share my world with but I feel like I'm too tainted to be loved by anyone worthy in the truth

That is ridiculous. Many, many Jehovah's Witnesses have been reproved or disfellowshipped and then gone on to find acceptable marriage mates. It might take time, but you could repair your reputation, if that's what you truly wanted to do. You are probably young and six months or a year seems like forever, but it's not.

and my morals are to high to love another boy from the world.

Well, no offence, but actually you have proven your morals aren't actually that high. It's not the end of the world, we all make mistakes, but why make an assumption that every boy "in the world" has low morals and that every JW guy has good morals? The reality is the JWs do not have a lock on morality. Many JWs do immoral things and just don't get caught and many people outside your religion have good morals, they just don't go on about it all the time.

If your Christian beliefs are important to you and you want to find a moral husband who shares your belief in Christ, then focus on that. The bible says you should marry a fellow believer, it doesn't say you have to marry a Jehovah's Witnesss, just a fellow believer in Christ. It's not actually Christian to judge a fellow Christian because their interpretation of the scriptures differs from yours. The early Christians had differing views, they were not ostracized for it. There are other good religions out there, and good people in them. You could probably still remain a JW if that is important to you, it's not a disfellowshipping offence to marry a non JW, you would just not be able to have pre marital sex.

If, on the other hand, you really want to live the JW life, and only see happiness with a JW husband, then you will probably have to compromise on some of your wishes. Maybe you find a guy who is good, but not good looking, or maybe you find a guy who also made mistakes in the past. At the end of the day you might also not find a mate, that is the reality, but you are a long way from knowing for sure you can't find a JW guy.

But before you do anything, I would urge you to investigate your own religion. The Watchtower is not what you think it is, so before you make painful choices that will limit your future, why not see if you are actually in the right religion in the first place?

51

Why facts fail to reach the faithful, (even the intelligent ones)

by done4good in

jw
friends

i posted this on another thread, and decided it deserves its own...thoughts?.

an unfortunate artifact of evolution is that belief can, and often does trump fact.

survival is at the core of what belief is about.

LisaRose

I believe we are hard wired by evolution to go by out "gut beliefs" rather than objective facts. It may have helped us survive when we had to decide to fight or run from that wolf stalking us, but doesn't serve is well in our increasingly complex society.

I read an actual comment posted bysomeone who thought the idea that the earth was round was just plain silly, because if that were true then tall buildings would be tilted. The earth looked flat to her and her gut feeling that it must actually be flat was not affected by the objective truth, proven by a mountain of evidence. This is an extreme example by a real dim bulb, but it's not far off from things many people believe.