ook at me, sitting here, wondering why I notice the world through eyes that could not see true evil. And a heart that was numb to feelings, due to the fact that the feelings came from evil, unnatural. Jehovah God is incapable of wickedness, whenever we look to see good will in the world - that is Jehovah. When we look and see bad, it is Satan, Devil, One who cannot be named.
If you believe in God, then you believe in a being that sat idly by while millions of human beings have been systematically cheated, stolen from, deprived of food, tortured, murdered and raped throughout the history of man. If there are such things as invisible beings, then he would be the worst of them, because he created the world where it happened and then allowed it, over and over, for some purpose that he hasn't fully explained and that could never justify the evil he has allowed. So many people have suffered, nothing can take that away.
But of course there is no evidence that such beings exist. Despite thirty years of earnest prayer to Jehovah, he never once responded, so I can only conclude that he doesn't exist. Despite being told that Satan was always looking to get me I saw no evidence of him either. Despite being told the bible is the word of God I found it to be confusing, full of errors and obviously written by primitive, petty and imperfect men. It's stories are very obviously fairy tales, told by the camp fire for centuries before being written down, and not even original. A talking snake? A global flood? Preposterous and easily disproved by science. It has some generic wisdom here and there, but nothing that isn't obvious to any thinking person. It also dictates that me, as a woman, am forever subservient to men, unfit for any position of responsibility, a possession. No thank you.
My happiness and freedom began the day I realized that God doesn't exist. I no longer had to listen to a bunch of self appointed men tell me what to think, do and say. It was like I was in prison and suddenly the door popped open and I could walk in the sun. The sixteen years since that day have been the happiest of my life. I no longer fear God's wrath or Armageddon. I no longer have to listen to a bunch of old farts in Brooklyn who presume to speak for God and who obsess over tight pants. I no longer have to live with guilt, being constantly told that I wasn't doing enough. My time is not enslaved to a cult, it is my own. I can't imagine spending most of my free time sitting in the kingdom hall being bored silly and I can't even imagine why any God would want me to.
FREEDOM!
