Welcome
My heart goes out to you for all you have been through. I was unhappily married for twenty eight years to a disfellowshipped person, so I certainly understand some of what you have gone through. The only good thing that came out of it was that receiving no help or understanding from the elders for so many years made me learn to trust myself (well, eventually) and once I finally realized it was not, nor ever was, "the truth" I was able to walk away from the marriage and the religion. I never looked back, nor regretted my decision, it's been seventeen years now and I am happily married to a man that treats me very well, my life is all I could wish for at this point.
Lisa 🌹