Posts by AnonyMouse

20

To all who still attend JW meetings

by Stealth in

jw
friends

for any who still attend meetings, .

do you still put donations in the contribution box?

if you do and don't have an issue with disclosing, how much each month?

AnonyMouse

I've never had a job, so I never donated.

Besides a nickle or two I found on the floor when I was around 4.

Mom usually gave me a check to put in the donation box. I'd always look, and it would always have $100. The last time she did it, I was sorely tempted to take it for myself and destroy it later, but it was her money to waste. Even if that money eventually hurt me by way of her expenses on me.

She hasn't donated recently (it took losing her job to knock some sence into her), but if she does, I think I'll give into the "destroy it later" thought. She will have messed up her checkbook balance...but she won't think I had anything to do with it.

11

Couple of questions...

by AnonyMouse in

jw
friends

someone gave me an explanation, but i didn't really understand it.

what is a dub?

and what does it stand for?

AnonyMouse

My mom uses the cliche "It's probably not true if it's too good to be true."

Even though 'life in paradise' never appealed to me (I don't want to die, just an eternity of servitude and perfection sounds boring), it does for everyone else.

I can except death in it's eventiality (far off, I hope). I see it this way: "If I'm dead, I won't be alive to care if I'm alive."

It works even if the JWs are right (I doubt it, but I'm still open-minded enough to give them the ever slightest chance that they are right).

65

What Things Did You Hate About Being A Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

.

anything in particular?

?

AnonyMouse

Stupid format thing...:

1) SUNDAY. I don't know why, but the watch tower just sent this bad vibe at me. Now I know why...

2) Service, you know why...

3) Being complemented after my talks. I havn't heard this one, but it always irritated me when everyone came up to me and said "You did good on your talk..." They never meant it, and it further irritated me that I was being complemented on something I hated doing.

4) Friends. Once I became homeschooled, I lost basically all my freinds. Everyone at my hall was either old, or a girl (an opposite to you folk, as every girl in our hall is EXTREMELY attractive).

5) Personal study. I hated wasting the hour and a half giving mom the answer she wanted. I eventually got past studying for the watchtower, since every single one is formatted in the exact manner, I just skim and underline. It takes 5 mins for the entire thing.

6) People talking to me. They want to know how thigns are going, and I just say "Fine." (or "good" if I'm feeling risky ;) ). Giving them the cold shoulder doesn't get the point to them. I know it's not nice to be mean to them, but I just want to be left alone when I'm in that 'place'.

65

What Things Did You Hate About Being A Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

.

anything in particular?

?

AnonyMouse

1) SUNDAY. I don't know why, but the watch tower just sent this bad vibe at me. Now I know why... 2) Service, you know why... 3) Being complemented after my talks. I havn't heard this one, but it always irritated me when everyone came up to me and said "You did good on your talk..." They never meant it, and it further irritated me that I was being complemented on something I hated doing. 4) Friends. Once I became homeschooled, I lost basically all my freinds. Everyone at my hall was either old, or a girl (an opposite to you folk, as every girl in our hall is EXTREMELY attractive). 5) Personal study. I hated wasting the hour and a half giving mom the answer she wanted. I eventually got past studying for the watchtower, since every single one is formatted in the exact manner, I just skim and underline. It takes 5 mins for the entire thing. 6) People talking to me. They want to know how thigns are going, and I just say "Fine." (or "good" if I'm feeling risky ;) ). Giving them the cold shoulder doesn't get the point to them. I know it's not nice to be mean to them, but I just want to be left alone when I'm in that 'place'.

11

Couple of questions...

by AnonyMouse in

jw
friends

someone gave me an explanation, but i didn't really understand it.

what is a dub?

and what does it stand for?

AnonyMouse

Someone gave me an explanation, but I didn't really understand it. What is a dub? And what does it stand for?

I can tell quite easily that some of you people were serving with the JWs for a long time, just by the way you type. You use similar sentance structure and wordings. That leads me to my next questions:

Your status? I'm wondering if, did you get babtized and leave? Were you raised and left? And also, from some things I read, it appears that some of you are still active. I'm not sure why you'd be on this site...

I know there's about a bajillion people that come here, because its been days and already my intro post is buried in the sands of time.

Any other lingo I should be taught?

I read something about "The 8 signs of Mind Control" once, and found it very interesting. I was tempted to use it to counter my mom, even going so far to replace 'mind control' (the average person probably things mind control is restricted to sci-fi) with something else. But then I realised that she would never understand it, then get mad at me for reading it, and just go into a homicidal rage from brain overload. There were some parts that took me several reads to get the general understanding of it. But there were a few parts in error. Most of it, such as "emotional, informational, and situational" made perfect sense.

I'm just confused as to HOW this could have happened? Was there just a complete failure of thought? How can people fall into this? Don't they see the big picture? Can they not see they're being manipulated? And most of all, how can they be so fervent?

I was under the impression from science books that the mother-child bond was very intense. But for my mom to do this to me...it's the first thing ever (aside from taking my favorite toy when I was 3) that has made me cry. I once prided myself over my control of emotions, even through the hormonal changes of my teenage years. But this...is the complete oposite of what I see as fair. To force your child through something like this, or face the consequences, seems to me like it breaks the law. I told my mom that, that the first ammendment should grant me freedom of religion. But she said no. I was surprised, and had to do research on it. From what I could gather from the Child Protective Services website, I actually have no choice but to listen to her.

Unless I'm missing something here...I would have thought that I'd be granted BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS once I at least became completely sentient (I'm thinking I became truly sentient, aware of myself and suroundings completely, at around 13) rather than under 18.

Sorry about that, I just go crazy it seems. One question sets me off, and I have to go into a long rant about things that are irrelevent to the topic. I'll just stop while I'm ahead.

37

Will they Eliminate the District Convention?

by kid-A in

jw
friends

ok, i am now guilty of feeding into the "big announcement" frenzy on the board!

another poster made an interesting suggestion that the "hypothetical" big announcement may be the elimination of the d.c.. i think this is a real possibility.

its been cut down to 3 days from an original 8 days over the years.

AnonyMouse

Rumor has it that Raleigh NC will be giving up a place of some sort for free to use for DCs. For free cleaning.

My family always treats DCs as sacred. My mom sacrificed her job to go to them every year. Maybe that played a factor in her getting fired...

But I suddenly called to mind a scripture that said that all people working in the 'temple' should be paid. I can't quote it (I've trained myself to hear the scripture, turn to it, ignore what was being read, and imediatly discard all assosiated knowledge ;) ). But it was one of those little counters to the insults they give the church, saying that "we clean it for free, so we are better."

I think it was when they built or rebuilt the temple. I dunno, seems like they built the temple at least a thousand times over.

37

Not quite sure where else to go, I'll give this place a try.

by AnonyMouse in

jw
friends

i'll introduce myself:

i'm a person who'd like to remain anonymous.

i'm 16, and recently confessed to my mother my disbelief in her religion (jehovah's witnesses, obviously so).

AnonyMouse

There's no way for me to get out of anything. I can't even get out of service like some of you suggested. And of course, mom is upgrading her zeal once again, and has gone out twice during the week. Normally she only goes out on saturday, if at all (there was once a time where we barely went out in service). So I'll be sucked into that. And she will never let me get out of meetings, or let me go to school.

And as for not hating her...that will take some time. I'm majorly hurt by the way she is treating me, I feel sub-human. I know time heals all wounds, but that time will probably only start after I turn 18.

I can see that this board doesn't bump, so I'll stop checking this after a day or two. But expect me around here in small quantities.

37

Not quite sure where else to go, I'll give this place a try.

by AnonyMouse in

jw
friends

i'll introduce myself:

i'm a person who'd like to remain anonymous.

i'm 16, and recently confessed to my mother my disbelief in her religion (jehovah's witnesses, obviously so).

AnonyMouse

What do you mean by "Old Soul" catagory?

I'm trying to keep it together. I understand Mom, but when she walks past me with that keyboard (she needs it to get on the internet to find a job, then imediatly stows it away where I cant get it), it infuriates me. I think I'm addicted to the computer, but for good reason. I know I use it as an escape, and while escapism isn't very good, it's all I have had to keep sane for several years.

She thinks punishing me will help me on down the road, but it's only pushing me farther away. And I'm getting to the point where I dont want to talk much to her, because all the time it seems the universe keeps saying "Don't talk!". Telling her what I think and feel only seems to get me in trouble and make things harder.

In my lack of studies (I don't know if I learn psychology from TV or what...) on psychology, I'm begining to learn how words work. A subtle change in the way a word is presented can make a person trust you, or make them hate you. Also, I've been getting better at lieing. While I realize this is nothing to be proud of, it's a necessary evil. I looked her in the eye and told her I wasn't getting on the internet, even tho I am.

Also, I discovered quite some time ago why mom sticks with it. She indeed belives that without the truth, she will never see her husband again. From what she tells me of him, she loved him very much. But me being 3 when he died, it feels more like a distant relative died, rather than my father. I'm just not used to him. She also does think that I won't ever meet him if I leave. I don't really want to meet him...

Honestly, I don't see what the appeal in "Everlasting Life" is. Sure, its human nature to want to live for a long time, but a word of perfection...boring... Not to mention impossible. I just can't ever see everyone becoming perfect. We each have our own differences and faults that make us unique. To take that away would be to destroy what we were. If god resurected a person that was born with a mental deffect, what would they be like? They were born without a complete personality, it's impossible to know who they ever were, and therefore impossible to fill in the blanks without changing them completely.

Forever serving someone I see as kind of annoying and somewhat naive doesn't sound fun (no insults intended).

37

Not quite sure where else to go, I'll give this place a try.

by AnonyMouse in

jw
friends

i'll introduce myself:

i'm a person who'd like to remain anonymous.

i'm 16, and recently confessed to my mother my disbelief in her religion (jehovah's witnesses, obviously so).

AnonyMouse

Wow.

Major help.

I see all of you are concerned about this whole knife thing. But I've come up with a probable diagnosis:

For some reason, I was torturing my self. I suspect some sort of self imposed guilt. Although I don't really know how that got into my system.

I understand my situation would seem hopeless, but your suggestions are very good. I don't think I'd have access to a library (the closest one is quite far away). And I have had no driving lessons or have funds to purchase a car.

I did have inheritence that I planned to use to get my life started, about $14,000 worth. But mom 'asked' me to borrow half of it for bills when I was 10 (like I could say no at that age) and the other half seems to have disapeared. So that plan is gone, as she seems unable to pay off her 'debt' to me any time soon. Of course, having a house to live in and food is probably better than having nothing and $14,000 once I get off the street.

But I'm starting to cheer up again. Still a sense of hoplessness, but not so intense.

So no need to worry about my health. I do have a few freinds online. That, and I hope to find a wife (me being male, for those of you wondering ;) ) someday and have children.

So, I'll stick with it for now. Hopefully having skills in psychology (seriously, I've never read a single book on the subject. I have no idea how I do it...), and my usual cheery mood (I used to laugh at the hoplessness of the situation, and I'll be back in that state of mind by tommorow), I should be able to diagnose and cure my psychological problems.

All in all, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I don't get some sort of sick pleasure out of other's being in my situation, but it gives me hope that this has been conquered before, many times. College is right around the corner (I have little doubt I'll make it into a college somehow. And I think that's based more off fact than ego). Thanks muchly ;) !

37

Not quite sure where else to go, I'll give this place a try.

by AnonyMouse in

jw
friends

i'll introduce myself:

i'm a person who'd like to remain anonymous.

i'm 16, and recently confessed to my mother my disbelief in her religion (jehovah's witnesses, obviously so).

AnonyMouse

I'll introduce myself: I'm a person who'd like to remain anonymous. I'm 16, and recently confessed to my mother my disbelief in her religion (Jehovah's Witnesses, obviously so). Instead of the caring mother I expected, I got a tyranical fanatic that is more bent on shoving this stuff down my throat than ever. I'll start from the begining. Mom lost her job ages ago. We have somehow survived (with Jehovah's help, as she says ;) ), but you can't really survive without a job. My dad died when I was 3, so there's no income comming in. We put our house up for sale and things are very tight. Mom started breaking down and crying all the time, no doubt feeling inadequete from not getting a job in a years time. Also, she noticed that I've been giving her the cold shoulder more often than not (I'm 16, and hate her religion, sorry if I seem insensitive). She kept asking me why I 'hated' her so much, and having her cry all the time was kind of getting to me. So I told her that her religion was what was making me so angry at her all the time. We talked for several hours, in which I told her why, and shot down her every attempt to prove me wrong. Time passed, and I kept going to meetings (being the blindly obidient child that I am). She eventually told my Uncle, who lives closer to us than anyone else (everyone else lives hundreds of miles away) about my feelings. He offered to study with me, and somehow convinced me. He made me doubt what I thought momentarily, and I got suckered into it. After he left, I realised what I had done was stupid, and lived in terror the rest of the week. We started the study on Sunday, and we read 2 paragraphs before I pointed out one thing I found disturbing at the District Convention. There was a talk about "Not having an Independent Spirit" or some similar line. But the brother on the first day giving the run down of the entire 3 days said "Independent Thought" instead of "Spirit". I thought about it, and it seemed to me that spirit is a clever word to replace thought. Basically it meant "Listen to us, don't doubt us, we are always right. We are never wrong" So in his explanation...well, I don't really remember it. He completely avoided the question at the begining and went off on a tangent, at which point I ignored most of what he said. We end up getting nowhere the whole time, as he can't put up a concrete point, avoids everything I have to say, and even insults what I thought about evolution (presently thats what I belive in...for the most part). After that, he asks if I want another study next week. I'm kind of shy around family (the controlling environment, methinks), so I couldn't tell him no. So, that brings us to last Sunday. I told him no to the study, and he gave me a long lecture about "As long as you are in your mothers house, you will go to meetings, study, service, etc. Not doing that will cause everyone greif. When you are 18 you can leave, but not until then. And if you defy your mother, I will support her against you." All in all I did not leave that conversation feeling loved...>.> So now mom takes away the keyboard to the computer. She knows I love the computer, and thinks I've been getting 'Apostate Propaganda' off the internet (I have, but that's not the point ;) ). She changes the password of the internet. I cracked the password with some digging, and happen to have a spare keyboard for just this type of occasion. The computer is also my output. Since I have no real freinds (I'm homeschooled) because I don't really like the JW kids very much, I get online and talk to people there. Without that, I have no social output at all, period. That kind of thing is important at my age (I'm a young psychologist ;) ). Also, since she is home all the time, I can't play video games all day to compensate for the extremem boredom of all things JW. She threatened to take away more stuff from me if I didn't cooperate, and I threatened to not cooperate if she took more stuff (stalemate) . She told me there was nothing I could do. Trying to appeal to motherly instinct didn't work. My mother is indeed on the dim side of the IQ scale (judging fairly, I'd say she was about 90), so logic doesn't work. And apparently, the first ammendment doesn't apply to me because I'm a minor. After that, I think I had some sort of emotional breakdown of some sort, because I couldn't stop crying. She went to bed after we talked, so she didn't see me. She also didn't see me with the knife (yes, I contemplated suicide this evening... just once out of many) . I feel hopeless. I'm not allowed basic rights. My own family won't even respect me. I just want to belive what I want to belive, and I think thats such a small thing to ask! Anyways, I just googled "Helping teens with Jehovah's Witnesses parents" and this site came up near the top and looked promising. Unforutunately, I may have broken a posting guideline in this post, "#2 Inciting hatred on the basis of race, religion,..." I don't hate my family, I just feel they are grossly mislead. If you get to the bottom of this post, I commend you on reading this novel. I just want to know: What can I do?