are there any aussies out there who can help with some advice or experience please?
my ex left the dubs before we were married and had kids.
now 20 years later he has returned to the fold and we have separated.
Thanks Carla, you're a gem. The abbreviations will help a few others I'm sure. Hope all's quiet on the domestic front.
I was "rofl" a minute ago as a JW did the pretend knock on my door and slipped their latest propaganda under my door - even though my address is on their "no call" list! Pffft.
I think I'll use this material to start explaining to the kids that JWs think that everyone else is going to burn.
are there any aussies out there who can help with some advice or experience please?
my ex left the dubs before we were married and had kids.
now 20 years later he has returned to the fold and we have separated.
Yes Carla, I see your point. The gloves are off!!
The JW Facts website is a wealth of info - thanks!
Sam 87, what does bttt mean? I have seen it used a lot but I am new at this forum bizzo and the abbreviations stump me!
Also can someone explain how to copy and paste parts of someone's so that you can comment under it please?
I am such a technovirgin ... arrrrgh.
are there any aussies out there who can help with some advice or experience please?
my ex left the dubs before we were married and had kids.
now 20 years later he has returned to the fold and we have separated.
Well, hello, hello. Long time no-speakies. I will give Mrs Ozzie a call soon. Love & hugs.
PS - What do u mean by "check yr PM"?
are there any aussies out there who can help with some advice or experience please?
my ex left the dubs before we were married and had kids.
now 20 years later he has returned to the fold and we have separated.
Thanks everyone. Sorry, my computer has been down.
The general gist I am getting is that I should take a giant "chill pill" and trust in the kids:
a) Boredom threshold
b) Ability to see simple logic.
My difficulty has been that I have tried to teach the kids they have to respect their Dad's religious beliefs, and that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I have tried very hard not to be negative about his beliefs in front of the kids. However, if he keeps discussing his beliefs with the kids I will need to start defending my own beliefs. That means I will HAVE to be negative about some of his beliefs, which I have been trying to avoid. Oh well, I guess I will have to stop pussyfooting around trying to be nice and start telling the kids how it is!
I am still not sure whether to send off a legal salvo trying to prevent him from taking them to JW functions ... so you really think I shouldn't bother????
are there any aussies out there who can help with some advice or experience please?
my ex left the dubs before we were married and had kids.
now 20 years later he has returned to the fold and we have separated.
Are there any Aussies out there who can help with some advice or experience please? My ex left the dubs before we were married and had kids. Now 20 years later he has returned to the fold and we have separated. The kids have not really been exposed to JW beliefs and they have had a Christian upbringing (although not regular churchgoers).
I am the main carer of the children. I am trying to get a notation in the custody papers to say that the kids "shall not receive instruction as JWs by him or any member of his family". My concern is that he has moved back with his parents who are strong JWs. So when the kids visit him/grandparents one weekend a fortnight I have no control over what is said to them. I also don't want him taking them to the KH or out in service. However, I'm worried I may end up spending a fortune in legals over something that may not be practical to enforce. I am familiar with some of the US experiences through this discussion board, but was wondering if there are any Aussies out there who have a local experience please???
This forum has really helped given me an insight into many things dub. Although I haven't contributed much so far I hope some of you caring and sharing characters will give me some practical advice.
the german conventions may go down as the most recorded ones since the nyc one in 1958. .
http://www.go2sam.de.
http://www.youtube.com/user/michaelsvideocorner.
Hell, I have never seen what a Convention was like! Thanks, now I can see what my ex is in for this weekend. No doubt his assimilation with the Borg will be complete after this. He will be so impressed by how many other loving Borgs there are ... and I am the sole evil opposer ... and I will lose him forever.
Crap.
hi, i am new to this forum.
i was hoping for some advice ... how do i protect my kids from exposure to jw teachings when they are visiting with my ex.
he was brought up a jw until we met and married over 20 years ago.
I am really freaking out now Carla. Unlike you, I didn't have the stamina to stay and watch the man I love so deeply change so much. Maybe it was selfish but it was making me physically ill and I wanted to stay healthy for the kids. I really admire you Carla because I agree it's a good idea to stick in there to keep a watchful eye on the kids. I just couldn't keep it up.
Jgnat, you're right, I was probably too hasty but in my heart I felt he had already made the decision to go back and was merely stringing me along hoping I'd get used to the idea. No use regretting as I have to try hard to get over this depression and regain my strength to try to build a new life. From what you're all saying this is going to be hard knowing about the hold the Borg has over my ex, and potentially how insidious this could be for my kids.
On the positive, he only has them one night and one day with the kids each weekend and we always schedule that for the day he is not attending the KH. He also takes them out one night a week - not on a meeting night. But as you say, it doesn't stop preaching at home. He is talking about moving back in with his parents, so if the kids visit there is potential double-wammy preaching. How can I prevent this?
Do you really think an 8 and 10 year old can get past their love and admiration for their Father to think for themselves that maybe what he is doing is wrong? Especially when the grandparents are so influential? We were all very close, even holidaying together. I don't know ... but I will try to do what you have suggested and talk to them a lot more about it.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and advice.
hi, i am new to this forum.
i was hoping for some advice ... how do i protect my kids from exposure to jw teachings when they are visiting with my ex.
he was brought up a jw until we met and married over 20 years ago.
Kids are 8, 10 and 13. I'm most worried about the 2 youngest. I was speaking to an ex-JW friend who said that they are very skilled at dropping subtle comments like "Mummy doesn't understand the bible/god", and that the kids don't need to go to the Kingdom Hall to be influenced. So I am really worried about what goes on when my ex takes them to visit his parents (who are long-time JWs). My kids love their grandparents so I'm worried about the influence there. My friend tells me to stop worrying about being polite and to make sure I defend my own beliefs so the kids have both points of view. It's all so exhausting as I have been fighting this so hard. I did everything I could to make him aware what he was getting himself in for. Despite talking to ex-JWs and reading Crisis of Conscience he still went back. They just seem so powerful. Sometimes I just want to grab the kids and run away.
hi, i am new to this forum.
i was hoping for some advice ... how do i protect my kids from exposure to jw teachings when they are visiting with my ex.
he was brought up a jw until we met and married over 20 years ago.
Thanks, your advice is v. helpful. I will spend time reading through those links. I agree that the kids are the priority and I have tried to show respect for their father by not rubbishing his beliefs. I have maintained the line that people have different ideas and don't always agree on things, but they are to be respected for having their own opinion. This is very hard to maintain in some situations. Like when he has removed from display our souvenir "tiki statues" from Hawaii and tells the kids it is because they are pagan idols. You are right though, I have to get the kids to think critically for themselves about the validity of these types of statements - problem is they are only 8 yrs, 10 yr and 13 yr old boys.
Funny thing ... even though he showed them the JW argument that in the Bible Birthdays are only for bad people, they have surmised from this that it must still be ok to have birthdays as long as they are "good people or kids". Out of the mouths of babes!
My lawyer has said that we can put in the separation papers the kids will not be allowed to go to the Kingdom Hall or have home studies, however, this may mean I cannot take them to my church either. It's so hard.
hi, i am new to this forum.
i was hoping for some advice ... how do i protect my kids from exposure to jw teachings when they are visiting with my ex.
he was brought up a jw until we met and married over 20 years ago.
Hi, I am new to this forum. I was hoping for some advice ... how do I protect my kids from exposure to JW teachings when they are visiting with my ex. He was brought up a JW until we met and married over 20 years ago. Through our marriage he didn't have anything to do with JWs. We celebrated birthdays, xmas, everything. A few months ago the JWs came a-knocking and being polite person I am, I accepted their literature. Before I knew it he was being encouraged to do a "bible study". I was distraught and we ended up in counselling. He could not explain how the JW time commitments, and issues with celebrations would affect our way of life ... he said he was only looking into it, and that he trusted this JW to be his"impartial spiritual adviser" ... he lost me that day. I moved out and asking him to take 6 months to study as much as he liked and really make an informed decision about the future. Within a week he was saying "they are a unique group of loving people". Within 2 wks he was going to meetings. Within 4 wks he was saying he has decided to devote his life to Jehovah. When I asked him where does the family come into this he says what he is doing is "for the family". When I ask him how can I trust him not to influence the kids and quote from the JW "Family" book saying the father "should inculculate the kids", he says I just have to trust him. The promise to not discuss details of his beliefs with the kids hasn't stopped him from telling his son he won't be coming to his birthday, and it's not in the bible to celebrate birthdays. I get no support from his family who say I'm being irrational and that if I loved him I would compromise and there are "thousands of happy and healthy interfaith marriages". Please, can anyone help tell me how to protect my kids from Borg?
