Everybody has been in your shoes, most all our families and social network are die hard JW's. We all know the costs of staying and leaving.
We all want our loved ones to see the TTATT. In the end, the only thing that matters is how we each choose to live our life, and believe me, seeing those years tick away leading a double life will not add comfort or satisfaction to a life lived.
Staying in and planting subversive comments has been considered by many, I'm not sure, but the success rate is probably really low. Some have successfully got their mates out, but the plan was carefully orchestrated. And from the ones I know personally, the believing mate was secure enough and respectful enough of their mate to not throw them under the bus. What is impressive about anybody is confidence, strength and courage to live your life fully. That is a huge statement to those who are in, even though they make take the hard line against you. You will be a curiousity as they become resentful as they trudge to the meetings and SA/RC/CA, and FS. Living well, keeping your wits about you, keeping them curious may keep the lines of communication open.
When I left I said "I have issues with the corporation." "It's between me and Jehovah." Nobody wanted to know, nobody asked more, except my elder/COBE brother...he was the only one.
My suggestion is to say very little. A well worded comment, (see On the Way Out's journey...he has really well thought out comments), can buy some peace. BTW, how you answered your wife was perfect... Take this time to be the best person you can be...have fun alone and with them.
The WT has convinced everybody they have no right to live an authentic life, and they are wrong. They don't care about anybody...their existence is to keep the corporation going at any expense. Every minute we give to them eats away at our true self...and the only way to help others see that is to claim your true self. Don't sacrifice it to the cult.
This journey is hard and it sucks. But the feeling of being true to yourself is glorious. I wish you strength for the journey.
