doubtingsister

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Posts by doubtingsister

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  38

  troubled [in need of answers]

  by zev in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today, i had a long, long talk with my employer.

  this person is some one who can seperate work and personal things, so after feeling like i needed to talk to someone, and soon, before i crack up, i went to her and dropped the bomb.

  she is not a witness, and because i cannot talk to a witness about what i have learned, for fear of the df'ing thingy, i feel safe in talking to her.

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  doubtingsister

  Hey Zev,

  I don't know what to tell you about your wife, my husband (fortunately) is not a witness so he's totally loving my new "personality".
  Try to show her what real love is about and even if things take a worse turn she'll be able to recall that you were a better person without the witness jacket on. I hope things work out for the two of you. Don't push it too hard though, it just doesn't seem to work unless they want to see it.
  I'm having a harder time with my parents. I do understand the necessity of getting counseling. I've been debating this back and forth in my mind for weeks now. There is just nobody who I can confide in who'll understand what I'm going through. I"ve told one non jw friend and she can't believe that I was involved in such a thing. That really makes me feel stupid and gullible and I'm afraid to mention it to anyone who wasn't a witness.

  Get a counselour and let me know how it goes, maybe I'll get the guts to do it too.

  Anne
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  55

  Demons / Urban Legends! Which Is It????

  by Big Jim in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone on this board ever experienced contact with demons?.

  i have heard demons talked about for years, however i have never known anyone that has had any real experiences with them, i have only heard storys.. .

  (some quotes).

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  doubtingsister

  You're right! I've never experienced anything like that while I was awake in broad daylight. I was feeling overwhelming guilt at not being a witness and so the desire to read the bible and learn more was about the most important thing to me at that same time.

  Jeez, just talking about this is making me realize how much more sane I feel and the fear is dissipating. It's the humans I'm more afraid of anyhow, lol.
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  55

  Demons / Urban Legends! Which Is It????

  by Big Jim in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone on this board ever experienced contact with demons?.

  i have heard demons talked about for years, however i have never known anyone that has had any real experiences with them, i have only heard storys.. .

  (some quotes).

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  doubtingsister

  I'm going to look into the night terrors, I've heard about them before, but haven't looked into it. I do have to say that since I started disengaging from the Witness mindset that I don't have that fear of demons anymore, so I'm quite open to checking out other options. Thanks for the link.
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  55

  Demons / Urban Legends! Which Is It????

  by Big Jim in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone on this board ever experienced contact with demons?.

  i have heard demons talked about for years, however i have never known anyone that has had any real experiences with them, i have only heard storys.. .

  (some quotes).

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  doubtingsister

  Slayer,

  I had a similar experience with the choking around the neck. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I could feel they wanted to hurt me. I said Jehovah's name in my head and immediately it went away, but I was freaked out for a week. I still cannot fall asleep on my back, it was that real.
  This happened when I was fervently studying the bible and trying to come back to the truth after a break during my teen years. A couple months after that I had a recurring dream/thing happen. I haven't had anything like it since and I was and am positive it wasn't in my mind. I was awakened three mornings in a row by my husbands voice and keys rattling in the lock, footsteps coming toward my bedroom and when I sat up in bed and called for my husband he wasn't there. He had already gone to work. Each time I felt like I was drowning or floating or something, it was an eery sense of being half asleep and half awake. After the third time I started waking up when he did to avoid it happening again. I've never had such a thing happen since then in the last 8 years.

  Who really knows?
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  33

  Celebrate with me today

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today, april 20th, is the fourth anniversary of a very special day in my life.. the anniversary of my rebirth.. this rebirth was not a religious experience, but it was something totally pure, amazing and healing.. it had nothing at all to do with the society, or rather, of freeing myself from it.

  it was however, a giant first step in that direction.. today is the fourth anniversary of the day i got letter that changed everything.

  the words on the pages were alive, and magical: they released me from my old life and for the first time.

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  doubtingsister

  I'll celebrate with you!

  I'm just imagining what that must have felt like to finally meet for the first time, how incredible. I would have been shaking in my shoes. I really hope you're going to write a book of your experiences or at least send this to Oprah! It would inspire a lot of women, not just exjw's you know.

  I'm going to raise my coffee (upgraded to cappucino) towards your 4 year anniversary.

  Cheers,

  Anne
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  13

  Allow me to introduce myself...

  by MuzicmanCa in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am a new face to this website, although i have poked around in it for some time.

  i was born and raised as a witness starting in brooklyn, new york in 1973. i was disfellowshipped on my 26th birthday, november 20th, 1999. i am not one of those that feels bitter about it.

  i know full well that the jw's have a code of morals and behavior that quite honestsly, i did not live up to.

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  doubtingsister

  Hi PaBrooks,

  I'm still in and I have done nothing wrong, in fact, I have many friends and a great congregation as far as congregations go, but I don't believe it's the truth anymore. I'm only lingering because I don't want to be cut off from my friends like I know will happen.
  I think that with a lot of the others on this board that they had doubts for a long time, but suppressed them because it's hard to change your whole way of life and to lose friends.
  So they press on and go to meetings and live that lie until they either do something wrong or start asking questions and get disfellowshipped.

  And then some witnesses sin or live immorally and don't get caught and think it's ok, because they have the "truth" and that makes them better than the "world". Hypocrites that are quite happy living in La La land.
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  106

  new, nowhere to turn, ashamed & afraid

  by azzazel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hullo everybody i'm new here, even though i've been lurking now for several months.. i have to say how afraid i am to post, afraid and ashamed but i feel if i dont tell my story, i honestly dont know what may happen to me or my children if they lose me, right now i feel like i've got nowhere left to turn and have my doubts about this place as well.. i know my story will shock you but i cant keep it in any longer.

  i am recently disfellowshipped for immorality, the subject of a kingdom hall witch -hunt and subsequent congregational humiliation, .

  during the process of the judicial committee meetings and proceedings no consideration was given to my real human circumstances nor to the spirit of survival nor human nature nor that of a mother seeking to protect her children from lack of basic fundamentals such as food, shelter and clothing.

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  doubtingsister

  Azzazel,

  I have two children who mean everything to me and I know I'd do anything, anything, for them if needed, even if that meant hurting myself (especially myself). God forgives and FORGETS, unlike humans. Nobody can take away God's love, not even the Witnesses or the elders. Don't look at the past or even yesterday, just go forward and make goals to help yourself climb out of this. I don't mean to make it sound so simplistic, you're obviously in a lot of pain, but I can't stand to see you feeling so badly about this.

  Anne
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  43

  Did you/Do you actually LIKE Field Service?

  by LovesDubs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  god i hated it..every living breathing minute of it.

  it was pure hell for me, and based on the pace i see the jws all over the world moving, they aint so fond of it neither.

  the persecution that the jws feel they get is from irritated householders who know nothing about their religion except that they hit people over the head with it and then judge them because they dont like being hit over the head with it.

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  doubtingsister

  Phone Witnessing!
  What a horrible idea. Did anyone here ever do that? I was "invited" to a sister's house for coffee and phone witnessing one day and I kept dialing my house and pretending that no one was home. I used my son as an excuse, I told the gals that he wasn't feeling well and I had to get back home to him. And parking lots at grocery stores, forget it. I would never, ever do that.
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  43

  Did you/Do you actually LIKE Field Service?

  by LovesDubs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  god i hated it..every living breathing minute of it.

  it was pure hell for me, and based on the pace i see the jws all over the world moving, they aint so fond of it neither.

  the persecution that the jws feel they get is from irritated householders who know nothing about their religion except that they hit people over the head with it and then judge them because they dont like being hit over the head with it.

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  doubtingsister

  I hated it! I hated driving and having to back in and out of driveways. The pain of getting in and out of a car in a dress and nylons in winter and trying not to slip on the ice or having to watch for mean dogs. I hated the salesman feel to it all and I hated bothering people in the morning.

  The only times it was enjoyable was when we made lots of stops at McDonalds. I would constantly tell my friends that I felt more comfortable and more efficient talking to people informally about the bible.

  I am so glad to never have to do that again, what a blessing!
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  16

  Yoga-gate 2001

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  good greif.

  my jw relatives really, really need to get a hobby of some kind to keep them.

  busy.. my sister claire stopped by today (with a hilarious story of a comedy of errors and how all.

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  doubtingsister

  LOL Es!

  Because of your good experiences with yoga that you've been sharing I rented a tape from the library and am giving it a try. So far, it's been very good for my posture and I'm not too sore so I must be doing it somewhat correctly.
  I rented it the other night with the intentions of starting it the next morning. A little later, while I was on the computer I heard the kids giggling and when I checked on them they were doing yoga and they were really enjoying it. They looked so cute trying to stretch their legs and stuff, shoulda grabbed the camera, but didn't want to interrupt them. It's a beginners tape so it's fairly basic. What tapes or books would you recommend?

  P.S. sorry about not answering you in email, I'll be getting to it tonight.