Well, actually I agree with you Philo, it's just sort of a shock to see an army of Brittney Spears at an assembly! I do feel sorry about the situation for them.
I used to think that if you married a JW brother that marriage would be easier (I'm married to a "worldly" man). After getting to know some details of the marriages at our hall I'm not falling for that anymore.
I got a reprimand one time for wearing a dress that was an inch over my knees. I was causing the men to have bad thoughts. How embarrassing for the elders to tell me that and how surprised I was! I wear long skirts now to avoid them having to say something like that again.
doubtingsister
JoinedPosts by doubtingsister
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39
If you went back...
by LovesDubs inive not been to a meeting in five years probably.
yet my husband still goes and i always envision him going in and the hardy handshakes he gives, greeting and being greeted, sitting there with all those suits with the secrets hidden inside, and all those pretty dresses hiding the pain.
if i wasnt disassociated, i wonder if i would be bolder, speak up, be honest with the "friends" instead of toeing the company line.
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doubtingsister
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39
If you went back...
by LovesDubs inive not been to a meeting in five years probably.
yet my husband still goes and i always envision him going in and the hardy handshakes he gives, greeting and being greeted, sitting there with all those suits with the secrets hidden inside, and all those pretty dresses hiding the pain.
if i wasnt disassociated, i wonder if i would be bolder, speak up, be honest with the "friends" instead of toeing the company line.
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doubtingsister
[The teenage girls looked like refugees from "Little house on the prairie". ]
That's way different than our last convention, the teenage girls all looked like nasty little tramps. I was embarrassed for their parents. I guess they were hoping to find a husband or something. Poor things.
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Assemblies...conventions...special days...
by NikL inthere is a phenomenon in dub dom that i have always hated.
the circuit/district convention.. people will spend hard earned money, use up any vacation they may have to travel to a city they don't really have any particular reason to see to sit for entire days and listen to the same b.s.
they could sit and listen to at the meetings in their home kingdom hall.
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doubtingsister
I get physically ill just trying to think of excuses I can use to get out of going.
One year I didn't go because I was still nursing my son, it was hot, humid, and I knew I would be spending almost all my time in the women's crowded stinking bathroom.
The following year a sister heard I was going to be away for our convention and made arrangements to take me and my kids to one that was in a state next to ours. I agreed to go since she and I were friends, but with two kids, I barely heard any of the talks. I just felt like I was a bad seed or something when she'd try to talk about how wonderful it was and I could barely smile thinking about the exhausting day I'd just had.I've probably attended about 8 assemblies/conventions and I can honestly say I'll never attend another one as long as I can help it.
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"Use of the Internet-Be Alert to the Dange...
by zev init never ceases to amaze me that in my 30+ years of sitting in those cheep plastic chairs, how much i missed, took for granted or just plain didn't care.
i took advantage of my time this morning to look over a couple aticles published by the borg, that relate to sites like this and countless others.
{this one being the best of course, imho} .
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doubtingsister
Hi Waiting,
My daughter is 10 and she's been in school in the past including last year, still talks to her old school friends and knows that she always has the option to return at will. I want her to have the best and since she loves homeschooling so much I've agreed to it for as long as she cares to do it. She was considered one of the "cool" kids in school and it amazed me since I was always so shy and awkward being the only witness and all, I'm happy it wasn't like that for her. Maybe that's why I've made sure she gets the best of both worlds (to a point anyhow) and have never forced her to believe in everything I was learning at the hall unless she came to that conclusion on her own. Age 10 just isn't the time to make those kinds of decisions in life.
Obviously, I've been feeling less confident about stuff and she seems perfectly happy when I decide to head to the coffee shop instead of the meeting.We'll do fine, and it will probably make us closer than we are already.
Thanks for your kind words. -
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"Use of the Internet-Be Alert to the Dange...
by zev init never ceases to amaze me that in my 30+ years of sitting in those cheep plastic chairs, how much i missed, took for granted or just plain didn't care.
i took advantage of my time this morning to look over a couple aticles published by the borg, that relate to sites like this and countless others.
{this one being the best of course, imho} .
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doubtingsister
[BTW, on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the highest score, I give you a 1000 on your article.]
Wow, thanks TR.
Maybe the newspaper will ask me to do a new column. How about:
Cults in Our Community or Babylon Babblings...And thanks Redhorse, I'm feeling more normal with each shared story.
I'm going on a day trip to interview someone for a magazine and I'm taking a friend (a witness) to be my photographer. It's going to be an all day adventure for us and I might have to throw her a question to get her thinking and see what she has to say. I don't want people to be totally surprised if I leave or get da'd.
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"Use of the Internet-Be Alert to the Dange...
by zev init never ceases to amaze me that in my 30+ years of sitting in those cheep plastic chairs, how much i missed, took for granted or just plain didn't care.
i took advantage of my time this morning to look over a couple aticles published by the borg, that relate to sites like this and countless others.
{this one being the best of course, imho} .
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doubtingsister
Thanks for the warm welcome!
I'm looking forward to chatting more with all of you. The internet has helped me in so many ways and never did I think it would help me learn the truth about the "TRUTH".
I'm most afraid of losing my friends. I'm not one who relies heavily on my friends, but my daughter does and it will be hard on her since she's homeschooled. Seems like nothing is ever easy. It does get easier, right? I'm seeing some very positive personalities here on this board and am hoping this means I can actually be normal after totally dismantling a belief system like this.
..sigh..
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So What Tipped You Out, Then?
by Englishman incan you remember that distinct moment in your life when you suddenly knew that your time as a jw was truly over?.
for me, that moment came several years after the removal of my privileges in the congregation when i admitted to having known my then fiance in a way that was not fitting for a ministerial servant.. i was quickly stripped of my 2 servants jobs, group study conducting, pioneer status, public talk giving and praying in the kh.
i was also forbidden to ever be alone with the lady concerned.. about 15 months later i was assigned a public talk, after 30 minutes i dried up.
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doubtingsister
Thanks for showing support. I really need it right now. It's such a relief to finally realize I wasn't the only one feeling the way I did and do feel now.
I'll tell you another thing that should have opened my eyes. When my brother was missing for a week and then found dead, not one day or moment did any of my parent's witness friends offer support. But, all of their "worldly" friends and family and even some of my workmates brought food, sat with my mother to comfort her and offered money and their time. Even some friends that they ignored due to their not being witnesses, they came out of the woodwork and showed their love and support when it was most needed. Not the witnesses. And after he was found, one couple from the hall showed up and I remembered that because they are one of the few that never seemed judgemental of people and always seemed very loving. But the others at my hall gossiped and said that "well, he was drinking and hit a tree, that's just what happens when you are worldly. They should have all been regular at the meetings and given him a better role model".
Story wasn't quite like that though, if they had known or cared. Sure he had two beers in his system, but he also had worked a 10 hour shift as an ironworker that day and was on his way up to go hunting for an early start the next day. He simply fell asleep at the wheel due to the dark roads up north and just enough food and beer from a local restaurant to make him tired. As much as I felt let down by the witnesses I still believed that if I ever wanted to see him again I'd have to be faithful to God's organization. I'm ashamed to say I believed that now.
There are other instances, more recent that have made me realize they are phoney. I get tired of all the reminders at the hall that we "have so much love" amongst ourselves. Yeah? Why do we need to be constantly reminded then?
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
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"Use of the Internet-Be Alert to the Dange...
by zev init never ceases to amaze me that in my 30+ years of sitting in those cheep plastic chairs, how much i missed, took for granted or just plain didn't care.
i took advantage of my time this morning to look over a couple aticles published by the borg, that relate to sites like this and countless others.
{this one being the best of course, imho} .
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doubtingsister
Hi Zev,
Was going to chat more in the chatroom but I keep getting kicked out.
Thanks for your help, and I hope to talk to you more soon. -
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So What Tipped You Out, Then?
by Englishman incan you remember that distinct moment in your life when you suddenly knew that your time as a jw was truly over?.
for me, that moment came several years after the removal of my privileges in the congregation when i admitted to having known my then fiance in a way that was not fitting for a ministerial servant.. i was quickly stripped of my 2 servants jobs, group study conducting, pioneer status, public talk giving and praying in the kh.
i was also forbidden to ever be alone with the lady concerned.. about 15 months later i was assigned a public talk, after 30 minutes i dried up.
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doubtingsister
Well, I'm not out yet, but what led me to this forum was an unleashing of all the doubts I had shelved up to this year.
I've had a lot of personal demons to overcome and for the first time in my life I finally have the confidence I always should have had in my life. Of course, much of it has been due to discovering that I can make a living working for myself. I work mainly with the internet and now it seems that I'm being criticized for that. I can't win. Anytime I have something in my life that makes me feel good about myself I have to give it up to serve Jehovah more "fully".After a recent meeting of "the internet is evil" and you should be doing this and that and everything else I almost snapped. I have two kids, work from home and squeeze in the meetings and study the best I can. All this without the support of my husband. While I was at meetings last year he was spending time in online sex chats. Of course, I could just throw it off as "Satan's trying to destroy my marriage and faith sort of reasoning)
It's been getting hectic and stressful, but I'm doing it. I started feeling like this is just too much for me and that I've lost any joy I might have had due to all the commitments.Of course, what really convinced me was my reading of Crisis of Conscience a few weeks ago. Needless to say, I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to still associate with my friends and yet get away from the WT hold. I guess I'll just end up losing them all, which isn't going to be easy.
Oh, there you go, now you know a little bit about me. Thanks for letting me share that and hopefully I'll get off the fence sometime soon.
A
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"Use of the Internet-Be Alert to the Dange...
by zev init never ceases to amaze me that in my 30+ years of sitting in those cheep plastic chairs, how much i missed, took for granted or just plain didn't care.
i took advantage of my time this morning to look over a couple aticles published by the borg, that relate to sites like this and countless others.
{this one being the best of course, imho} .
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doubtingsister
Hello,
I'm a new poster here and I have to say I've been learning a lot from all of you. The topic of the internet is near and dear to my heart and today is a very nerve wracking day for me because of that. I work from home using the internet and I also write a newspaper column on web topics every week in a local (not the same city, but very close) newspaper.
This one will get me into trouble and now there's nothing I can do but wait. I'm not sure I wanted to stir things up so quickly, but what's done is done I guess. I sort of hope that no one mentions it and I can still associate with friends, especially for my daughter's sake since she has two very close friends at our hall.
I'm still having a lot of conflicting feelings and am worried that I won't be able to defend the doubts I've been having.
Anyway, I'd like to share my column and see what you all have to say about it.Here it is:
Intellectual Freedom at Risk~ Internet Censorship
No doubt the first thing that comes to mind when you hear about the internet being censored is what a relief it is that someone will block out bad sites that are so rampant. Who will monitor the websites? Are they someone you want to tell you what is good for viewing and what isn't?
A good software program can be effective without being too restrictive. There's a free one at weblocker.com. It's very reliable and easy to use.I don't want or need anyone telling me what I can read, view or talk about and that's just what censorship aims to do. When children are involved in the internet world, they need to be guided as to what is appropriate or not for them. They should have parents or teachers who guide them as they learn to navigate through the internet. That's how it should be in all important aspects of their lives, shouldn't it? Adults, on the other hand, should be trusted to already know what's right or wrong. Problem is, the differences in attitudes and viewpoints on right and wrong are strongly varied from person to person and across the world.
Even different countries are more sensitive to internet censorship than others. We know that many countries have strict control of the media already, so why let them control the information available online? Are they really trying to "protect" their fellowman or are they trying to control them?
I know of one religious organization that won't allow it's members to read anything available about the organization online. They are afraid of those that might turn them against their religion and cause them to hate what they used to love. Is that even possible?
If you are what you say you are, won't that be apparent no matter what others have to say about you? Or, are they afraid of people finding out the truth they've been easily hiding up until now? People who had questions, but thought they were the only ones can now find others from around the world to discuss these feelings with and realize from international contacts that they are not alone.Anyone who has surfed the web long enough will come to realize that finding real information online takes some practice. We find some (but definitely not all) sites are created with the purpose of spreading rumors and lies. You need to find reliable sites that are well known and have a longer history.
Knowledge of the internet comes from experience.
If you are afraid of what you might find online and therefore do not learn to use it wisely, you may become stumbled or confused about the things you read and see. Many governments, religions and other people in leadership roles would like it if the internet would just die away.
But, it won't.
It's like choosing which magazine or newspaper you'd like to read when standing in the supermarket checkout. Are you the type to get your "news" from a cheap ragmag or do you look for something of more substance and reliability?
Isn't it nice you have a choice?
Don't support censorship laws that will take away our choices. Learn instead to work with the internet, using blocking software if you have children and keeping up to date on search tips so that you find exactly what you want without wandering into the wrong "neighborhood".
The internet is a tool, just like the telephone or television. It can either invade our home and take over or we can gain control over it and make it a useful and entertaining part of our home.
The choice is all ours (at least for now it is.)