So What Tipped You Out, Then?

by Englishman 41 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  Can you remember that distinct moment in your life when you suddenly knew that your time as a JW was truly over?

  For me, that moment came several years after the removal of my “privileges” in the congregation when I admitted to having “known” my then fiancé in a way that was not “fitting for a Ministerial servant”.

  I was quickly stripped of my 2 servants jobs, group study conducting, pioneer status, public talk giving and praying in the KH. I was also forbidden to ever be alone with the lady concerned.

  About 15 months later I was assigned a public talk, after 30 minutes I dried up. My confidence totally eroded, I never gave another. From that point on my discourses were confined to occasional 6 minute spots in the ministry school.

  My performance in the ministry work also suffered, if I couldn’t actually avoid taking part, I would just offer the magazines after tapping very lightly on the door.

  I went to fewer and fewer meetings. One day, I was reading in the Watchtower an article on children that said that parents could avoid “Irritating their children” by making them listen at meetings! For some reason that really irked me, how could letting a child miss a meeting irritate him?

  I found that I was becoming ever more irritated myself by the whole ethos around JW`s. The judgementalism grated more and more. I found the “kingdom smiles” phoney and syrupy. The whole JW atmosphere seemed cloying and false.

  I was almost at the end of the line when my best pal and some other friends were DF`d, so it didn`t need much of a push for me to be gone permanently. Strangely, that moment came quite quickly at the weekly book study.

  It was in `72 and we were reading from what I think was the “Sons of god” book. We were dealing with a vision that involved wheels, spokes and wheel-rims with eyes set in them. It was so ludicrous to read, the explanations were even more so. It was total, undiluted gobbledeygook of the worst sort. What ever was I doing, believing rubbish like this?

  On my way home I realised that I had “fallen away”, I was now an ex-JW. Suddenly, I felt a great sense of elation, I was free to do whatever I chose!

  It wasn`t that simple of course, DA`ing wasn`t then an option, so eventually I got myself DF`d (for associating with DF`d persons) as the only way to shut the door on my JW existence.

  So that`s it. The crunch that finally tipped me out was nothing more intriguing than a boring, nonsensical book!

  Englishman
• 

  zev

  You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself.
  I as of yet have not come to this special moment in my life. But when I do, I hope I can express myself and thoughts and ideas as well as you do. Thanks for sharing that with us.
  __
  Would ya lookie there, we joined on the same day there Englishman.
  __

  zev

  Edited by - zev on 4 March 2001 12:41:56
• 

  ChuckD

  For me it was two things. One was when I had to seriously consider the blood issue. When my daughter was around 2, (this is in 1982) she was diagnosed with a blood disorder (which has since gotten better), which COULD, under some circumstances, require a transfusion. I was faced with the realization that her life could some day depend upon her receiving blood if needed. I knew then that her life would of course come first - and that there was no way that I would not do whatever was needed for her well-being.

  The other was a seemingly insignificant event. I happened upon a magazine that was doing an article about evolution, and it was talking about the ways in which creationists present some rather flimsy evidence to support their views. This article had a quote from the society's evolution book as an example. In the excerpt, the book was quoting some scientist who was saying something to the effect of "Evolution has not been proven," but the actual quote in context was quite different, and more along the lines of; "There are those who may say 'Evolution has not been proven', but they are not correct" These were not the exact words, but it was to that effect. Still, the society took a quote completely out of context and made it appear as though it said quite the opposite of what it did. They assumed that none of their readers would ever go to the original source and check for themselves. This incensed me as it was not an honest mistake, instead it was a deliberate attempt to mislead and was nothing short of bald-faced lying. That was a significant turning point for me.

  Edited by - ChuckD on 4 March 2001 12:54:4
• 

  TR

  The nail that sealed the coffin lid on my JW activity was when a good friend was df'd. I was already stressed to the point of stepping down from M.S. duties. My friend asked me if he should stay away from me. I told him yes, because I was still a JW.

  Later I told my "unbelieving" wife what happened. She scolded me for treating one of my best friends in this manner. She said, "why do you shun your friend at a time when he needs a friend the most?" It was at this point that I didn't go to another meeting. Two years later after getting enough courage, I got on the net and did a JW info-seaking marathon.

  TR
• 

  Blackcat

  The reason i left the org. was being told who i could and could not have a relationship with. It started when a new family moved into our cong. their eldest daughter instantly caught my attention, strolling into the hall wearing should i say a large belt (mini skirt), all of a sudden the meetings where interesting!! to cut a long story short she was,nt baptised, i started dating her and had the elders on my back (unbeliever and all that) the elders gave me two visits and told me i was going against jahs wishes, and i told them where to go......despite them telling me there was no future in our relationship, we have been hapily married for 9 yrs and have two beautifull children,which bring us more joy than anything experienced at the boredom hall !!!
• 

  Englishman

  Nice one, GTB!

  Funny how I always enjoy a story where there is a pretty girl involved, after I left the dubs I divorced my "Irma Bunt" and finished up happily married to a very nice lady.

  Whats the GTB stand for? Go to bed?

  Regards,

  Englishman.
• 

  Blackcat

  gtb as in glad to be freeeee... stupid but its all i could think of at the time.Talking of going to bed i just might now you have mentioned it..of course with my unbelieving lovely lady..aah life is sweet
• 

  unanswered

  hi, englishman-i've thought about it, and as yet, i can't pinpoint the exact moment it happened. for me, it was a snowball that was already rolling down hill, it just kept getting larger and rolling faster all the time. that doesn't answer your question exactly, but the end result sounds the same-we're out and we're much happier for it.
• 

  neyank

  Hi Englishman,
  I think the moment I knew that my time as a JW was over was when the WTS changed the 1914 generation teaching.
  The fog I was in, when thinking that the WTS was Gods chosen org. started to lift.
  I started to notice a lot of inconsistencies in the publications.
  Then at one meeting, the brother giving the talk had the bible in his hand waiving it in the air saying that the bible was an orginization book.
  It was not written for the average person but was written for the F&DS to teach others with it. That the average person cannot understand it.
  It was then that I decided to investigate the past teachings and history of the WTS.
  And I certainly found more than I was looking for.
  neyank
• 

  expatbrit

  Englishman:

  Like Unanswered, I had slow but steadily accumulating doubts. Like Neyank, the 1995 generation change was the factor that finally punctured the balloon of fear in my head and enabled me to really sit back and look at the society from an objective viewpoint.

  Once you do that, you're finished from the WTS point of view. All of the deceptiveness and doublespeak becomes so clear.

  Expatbrit.