Welcome, I too lurked for years. I can remember when I first stumbled across the site I too felt there was much bitterness and hatred so I stopped reading. I later came to realise the emotions that people feel as they leave the org cause some of this anger.
If you have been lurking for a while you will get to know the posters who are more laid back than others and know you can read their posts.
The great thing about JWD is that we only have one thing in common and that is our connection with the watchtower. Apart from that we are all different and so will all react differently.
You have made the right decision in coming here. Please post some more, but if you feel you can't yet thats also fine but keep reading.